Yandere Thread

[Hikikomori1]

I have decided to make a thread for Yandere people.

For those who don't know Yandere (ヤンデレ) is a Japanese slang word that refers to a person with an unhealthy romantic obsession with another person.

Outside Japan it is mainly only used to refer to fictional characters in media however in Japan the term can refer to fictional characters in media as well as real life people.

While i am not a full blown yandere i do have some tendencies.

Are there any IRL yanderes on SS?

 

[psycho]

Hi

 

[Hikikomori1]

Hi

Hi there.

 

[psycho]

Wanna talk about the tendencies?

 

[leloyon]

I don't exactly think I'm yandere as far as I'm aware, I do have stalker tendencies.

 

[Hikikomori1]

Wanna talk about the tendencies?

Sure.

I don't exactly think I'm yandere as far as I'm aware, I do have stalker tendencies.

Same here tbh.

 

[leloyon]

Like sometimes I will see someone and I'll just feel…attracted to them. Not romantically or sexually or anything, I'll just have some weird feeling towards them that I want to know about them. I have urges to follow them and record them and I will wish that I could learn more about them. I don't do these things but the urges are there and pretty strong.
The one time I guess you could say I had a crush on someone I later realised they had a shitty personality and they got a boyfriend and I didn't really care that much, if anything I found it annoying simply because the boyfriend was annoying.
I wouldn't be surprised if I became a yandere in an actual relationship though. I'm very touch-starved and I don't think I've ever really felt loved before, so I imagine I would be very clingy and quite obsessive in an actual relationship. I am especially a suspicious person though so I would at least be one of those people who's always like "are you cheating on me?" for sure which I guess is a yandere thing.

 

[psycho]

Maybe dont go chasing love, life isnt very linear

Like sometimes I will see someone and I'll just feel…attracted to them. Not romantically or sexually or anything, I'll just have some weird feeling towards them that I want to know about them. I have urges to follow them and record them and I will wish that I could learn more about them. I don't do these things but the urges are there and pretty strong.
The one time I guess you could say I had a crush on someone I later realised they had a shitty personality and they got a boyfriend and I didn't really care that much, if anything I found it annoying simply because the boyfriend was annoying.
I wouldn't be surprised if I became a yandere in an actual relationship though. I'm very touch-starved and I don't think I've ever really felt loved before, so I imagine I would be very clingy and quite obsessive in an actual relationship. I am especially a suspicious person though so I would at least be one of those people who's always like "are you cheating on me?" for sure which I guess is a yandere thing.

Is it like addicting?

 

[Hikikomori1]

Like sometimes I will see someone and I'll just feel…attracted to them. Not romantically or sexually or anything, I'll just have some weird feeling towards them that I want to know about them. I have urges to follow them and record them and I will wish that I could learn more about them. I don't do these things but the urges are there and pretty strong.
The one time I guess you could say I had a crush on someone I later realised they had a shitty personality and they got a boyfriend and I didn't really care that much, if anything I found it annoying simply because the boyfriend was annoying.
I wouldn't be surprised if I became a yandere in an actual relationship though. I'm very touch-starved and I don't think I've ever really felt loved before, so I imagine I would be very clingy and quite obsessive in an actual relationship. I am especially a suspicious person though so I would at least be one of those people who's always like "are you cheating on me?" for sure which I guess is a yandere thing.

Do you like learning about others?

 

[leloyon]

Maybe dont go chasing love, life isnt very linear

Is it like addicting?

Kinda? I remember I once recorded my neighbour when I was a kid and I had an urge (maybe 11 years old at the time) and I constantly went back and watched the footage I took.

Do you like learning about others?

I guess? I feel like it's sorta wanting to insert myself into their lives, but knowing I can't, so watching them from a distance instead. I tend to get quite obsessive with those I become friends with anyway, to be honest.
Sorry if my replies seem a little odd, I haven't explored this side of me too much compared to my other issues. I find it hard to understand myself sometimes.

 

[psycho]

U a lonely person?

 

[cgrtt.brns]

ive never considered this as a possibility but as a kid i had a very unhealthy obsession with a boy in school that lasted for roughly four years until he eventually left school (i still worry if it was because of me). i would get really angry when anyone else talked to him, i remember when someone got a teacher to swap our places in a class where i sat next to him and i wanted to kill them. i copied everything the boy did, tried to figure out where he lived, would look at rings in a catalogue every day after school and very nearly got my parents to buy me matching rings so i could give him one, im very glad i didnt do that bc i have no idea what i would've done if he rejected it. he was very quiet and whenever i confessed my feelings to him he wouldnt say anything so i took that as him being ok with it. i would follow him around and touch him as much as i could. i realise now that i was basically bullying him, but i was so blinded by my obsession with him i didnt even realise as a kid. the funny thing is i eventually left school as well bc of mental health issues and somehow got put in the same specialised school as him, but by that time i had come out as trans so i have no idea if he knew it was me. he had changed a lot physically but was still very quiet, and anytime he said something to me (which probably happened twice in the whole three years we were in this school) i got sent back to feeling like that obsessed little kid, but it didnt last long thankfully. i have never told anyone about this in my life because im way too ashamed to admit it. its been eating away at me my whole life but nobody knows about it. i feel awful thinking about how my actions affected his mental health. he moved to my school and had no friends when i first met him, and i immediately was obsessed with him up until he left again, i feel so bad.

other than that, in my first relationship, i very quickly became obsessed with my partner, but we were long distance which made it especially hard for me bc i was constantly worried they were cheating on me, even tho they were a really lovely person and they would never do that (i dont think anyway) i was just paranoid. i eventually ruined this relationship with my constant paranoid questions and casually mentioning my suicidal thoughts which really affected their mental health which again i didnt realise at the time. i nearly killed myself multiple times after they broke up with me.

i got diagnosed with bpd last year so i think a lot of my behaviour is because of that. im glad i have that diagnosis now so i can try to recognise my behaviours in the future. i havent been in a relationship for a while because i really worry about how ill behave, and i also have major trust issues so it takes me way too long to warm up to someone and by the time i do theyve found someone else. im not currently obsessed with anyone thankfully. i feel like im going to be single for the rest of my life.

 

[Hikikomori1]

ive never considered this as a possibility but as a kid i had a very unhealthy obsession with a boy in school that lasted for roughly four years

It was the same for me in high school with a girl i was obsessed with her for years. Stalked her online gave her gifts and even threatened to kill her boyfriends or guys she hung out with.

I don't really talk about this to most people because it brings up bad memories and i got in trouble for it but again this was years ago.

U a lonely person?

Yes.

 

[Arachne]

u feel a lot of things don't ya buddy?

 

[Hikikomori1]

u feel a lot of things don't ya buddy?

LMFAO i guess.

Also love the Hikichan/Ashley Hanrahan avatar.

 

[Touhou]

Can you people stop romanticizing stalking/OLD?

 

[Hikikomori1]

Can you people stop romanticizing stalking/OLD?

How are we romanticizing it?

 

[jaxxon_sunn]

How are we romanticizing it?

I would also like to know. Many people say they romanticize it but it seems like these tendencies cause you suffering rather than joy? Genuinely curious

 

[Hikikomori1]

I would also like to know. Many people say they romanticize it but it seems like these tendencies cause you suffering rather than joy? Genuinely curious

They cause a lot of feelings of loneliness and i have been told by my own parents that i fall in love way too easily.

 

[themisfell]

I used to view myself as a "yandere" but then I realized I simply had severe mental health issues and it resulted in me basically projecting them into not just my love life, but also obsessive-compulsive reactions to even friends. Leaning out of the term really did wonders for my mental health for a bit, honestly. Not necessarily shaming anyone who identifies with it, but I feel like it can be a pretty self-destructive way to view yourself, especially if you involved yourself into self described "yandere communities" like I did lol.

 

[Hikikomori1]

I used to view myself as a "yandere" but then I realized I simply had severe mental health issues and it resulted in me basically projecting them into not just my love life, but also obsessive-compulsive reactions to even friends. Leaning out of the term really did wonders for my mental health for a bit, honestly. Not necessarily shaming anyone who identifies with it, but I feel like it can be a pretty self-destructive way to view yourself, especially if you involved yourself into self described "yandere communities" like I did lol.

Were you ever on the Yandere Forum 2 Community before it shut down?

A lot of IRL yans were on there.

 

[themisfell]

Were you ever on the Yandere Forum 2 Community before it shut down?

A lot of IRL yans were on there.

I was in a lot of really private Tumblr and Twitter communities that were invite-only, I had been invited by a friend of mine who first introduced me to the topic like... 6 years ago? I'd say. I then identified with the term for probably 3 years until slowly leaning out of it. I still definitely have obsessive habits and most likely have BPD as well, but those types of communities were pretty much the types where "everything was okay". What did that mean? I watched people discuss all manner of awful and terrible things they did/wanted to do to their partners, and in all honestly sometimes I fantasized about it too. I think the worst thing I ever saw was this woman who was clearly getting scammed (and we were told NOT to tell her what to do, despite the obvious scam, and many members being concerned for her). She was seeing a Shaman of sorts who was promising her things like "Love Potions" and other totally real things and charging her $1,000's of dollars as well as coercing her into sex on multiple occasions. It's always stuck with me and even though she was really pitiful and weird it was still so awful to read.

 

[Hikikomori1]

I was in a lot of really private Tumblr and Twitter communities that were invite-only, I had been invited by a friend of mine who first introduced me to the topic like... 6 years ago? I'd say. I then identified with the term for probably 3 years until slowly leaning out of it. I still definitely have obsessive habits and most likely have BPD as well, but those types of communities were pretty much the types where "everything was okay". What did that mean? I watched people discuss all manner of awful and terrible things they did/wanted to do to their partners, and in all honestly sometimes I fantasized about it too. I think the worst thing I ever saw was this woman who was clearly getting scammed (and we were told NOT to tell her what to do, despite the obvious scam, and many members being concerned for her). She was seeing a Shaman of sorts who was promising her things like "Love Potions" and other totally real things and charging her $1,000's of dollars as well as coercing her into sex on multiple occasions. It's always stuck with me and even though she was really pitiful and weird it was still so awful to read.

That's fucked up.

 

[Homulily]

My ex would vent to me about a new girl she had a crush on and it fucking destroyed me, before I knew I had some really unhealthy tendencies involving obsessing over people but this led me to basically doing everything I can to figure out everything about her crush and to try to make myself more like her or proving im better.
I have a lot of violent fantasizes about the girl she has a crush on, I know its really unhealthy thats why when she cut contact with me (I basically pointed out times where she has harmed me, (guilting me into sleeping on the floor instead of sharing a bed since she was annoyed with me, ditching me at a date, bunch of other shit) im not gonna go into details about what she did to me im just saying this so you don't think she cut contact with me due to my actions and that why she cut contact with me was me asking for an apology)
I havn't done anything about it.
I want her back so badly. would do fucking anything to get her back.
Even after she cut contact with me all i want to do is make an alt and try to contact her and beg for forgiveness but I know not to do that, I know that would only ruin anything.
so I just fantasize a lot about her and feel like shit.
even though she was really mean to me I still love her, it felt like her meanness was really grounded in reality and was only when I made mistakes or annoyed her so it was honestly my fault.
I dream about her often. i have photos of her hung up, i sleep with blankets she gave me when we were dating. I wear a ring on a necklace I was going to propose to her with.
I love her, even though she destroyed my ability to love normally and even though she ruined my ability to function as a person and is practically the reason I joined this website anyways.
I don't care how she treated me because I love her so much. I just want to be her girlfriend again.

 

[Hikikomori1]

My ex would vent to me about a new girl she had a crush on and it fucking destroyed me, before I knew I had some really unhealthy tendencies involving obsessing over people but this led me to basically doing everything I can to figure out everything about her crush and to try to make myself more like her or proving im better.
I have a lot of violent fantasizes about the girl she has a crush on, I know its really unhealthy thats why when she cut contact with me (I basically pointed out times where she has harmed me, (guilting me into sleeping on the floor instead of sharing a bed since she was annoyed with me, ditching me at a date, bunch of other shit) im not gonna go into details about what she did to me im just saying this so you don't think she cut contact with me due to my actions and that why she cut contact with me was me asking for an apology)
I havn't done anything about it.
I want her back so badly. would do fucking anything to get her back.
Even after she cut contact with me all i want to do is make an alt and try to contact her and beg for forgiveness but I know not to do that, I know that would only ruin anything.
so I just fantasize a lot about her and feel like shit.
even though she was really mean to me I still love her, it felt like her meanness was really grounded in reality and was only when I made mistakes or annoyed her so it was honestly my fault.
I dream about her often. i have photos of her hung up, i sleep with blankets she gave me when we were dating. I wear a ring on a necklace I was going to propose to her with.
I love her, even though she destroyed my ability to love normally and even though she ruined my ability to function as a person and is practically the reason I joined this website anyways.
I don't care how she treated me because I love her so much. I just want to be her girlfriend again.

Sorry that happened to you here is a hug from me to you.

 

[Homulily]

Sorry that happened to you here is a hug from me to you.

its alright. nothing to be sorry about.
thank you for the hug.

 

[Hikikomori1]

its alright. nothing to be sorry about.
thank you for the hug.

You are welcome.

 

[neurotic]

I love yandere threads! Story: I've definitely stalked this one guy I was infatuated with in high school, but I wouldn't say I'd kill for him or anything. We were sitting on the bleachers this one day (high school) and I recited his entire student ID, birthday, and address to show him how much he meant to me. He looked genuinely terrified and I think it ruined my chances with him. At the time I just wanted him to feel important but looking back I feel complete embarrassment.

 

[Hikikomori1]

I love yandere threads! Story: I've definitely stalked this one guy I was infatuated with in high school, but I wouldn't say I'd kill for him or anything. We were sitting on the bleachers this one day (high school) and I recited his entire student ID, birthday, and address to show him how much he meant to me. He looked genuinely terrified and I think it ruined my chances with him. At the time I just wanted him to feel important but looking back I feel complete embarrassment.

Maybe he just wasn't the right one for you.

 

[crimsonpool]

me - definitely more than tendencies