Writing my note is so difficult

[slushy]

I know I'm going to try to ctb, maybe soon. I have my location, method, materials. Everything is set to go except for one thing: my note. I can't seem to face it down. I'm ready to die but I don't know what I could ever say to all the family and friends who I love so much who I know will be devastated.

I've thought about just doing it without any note, because this is really holding me back but I can't. I at least need to tell them that I love them and I'm sorry and that I did it of my volition and it was nobody else's fault.

I need to find the strength to do this...to do what would make me happy..any advice to give me some strength to write that note? Thanks

 

[summers]

I get writers block from time to time. Trick that works for me is to start with an outline - your main points. Then you can go from there. It will also help your writing be more concise and understandable as the flow of the passage will make more sense then writing off the cuff.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Threesummers made a great suggestion that I think will help you. It probably would have helped me if I thought of it, but I just started writing and put down what I wanted to say in the moment. If I ever get around to actually going through with this, I might have to change some things in it or start over from scratch, but it really is hard writing these things.

When I started mine, I was really feeling like shit, so most of what I wanted to say just came to me. I had to stop and go back to it a couple times, so if you find that you're having a hard time with certain parts of it, you can always take a break and think about it for a while before continuing on. Clearing your head and figuring out what you want to say might help.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think it best to just try the direct approach and explain your feelings, as best as you can, about why you feel the way you do, tell them that they aren't to blame (only if they aren't), tell them you've been feeling this way for a long time and there's nothing they could have done to change anything. And tell them you love them and you hope they have a happy life (if you feel that way) and you wish them peace in their lives, just as you are hoping for finally having peace in yours, too.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that with notes, for me it would be best just to write what feels right, anything that comes to my mind that I would like to say. For me a purpose of a note would be to act as a form of closure for those left behind and would mean that they are not left with unanswered questions.
I would say things like there is nothing that you could have done and try to make them understand why I chose to do this, even know I think that they would never be able to fully understand what I went through no matter what. Only you know how you should write your note, it is a personal thing and everybody is different. I do know that it can be difficult putting thoughts into words and I wish you the best with what you are doing.

 

[outatime_85]

I think, depending on the individual, notes could go one of these ways.

Leaving a note for no one. (It is not always a good option, especially if you care about some of those that will be left behind.)

A simple note, no details, just bye and sorry. (straight to the point, but does not offer any closure)

A fully detailed letter outlining all of the issues that are causing one to reach the point of no return. (To the point, but offers details of what the person was thinking, and may offer some closure, or may not offer any closure.)

Then you have the (fu style) note. No closure, willing to burn bridges, as one goes out like James Cagney in White Heat, and all the evil bits are written out. (This is not always the best option, but it depends on the people the person wishes to see said note.)

I am sure there are other options as well.

 

[summers]

A simple note, no details, just bye and sorry. (straight to the point, but does not offer any closure)

This is probably what I'm going to do. But why would you say sorry. I think it should be more bye and thank you for being in my life.