T
toomanyminds
New Member
- Oct 7, 2023
- 1
Hey everyone!
I am new here, so I hope I am doing this right…
I know that slitting your wrists is a notoriously unreliable method, I think a Havard study lists the success rate at 1.6%. I have two other, more solid plans, but they'll both take a few more months to prepare so I need a backup plan in case things get unbearable before then. From experience I am pretty confident I could make slitting my wrists work and I wanted to share my plan in case anyone is interested in some ideas on how to pull this off and also to get some feedback and some questions answered. [I do not want to encourage anyone to use this method. I am only sharing this for informational purposes and to possibly get some feedback.]
Some background info in case anyone cares: I attempted a few months ago by cutting my wrists. I was inpatient back then so I did not have a lot of options, and a friend managed to sneak in some razor blades. I waited until the nurse had been by for the first nightly check-in, then I locked myself in the bathroom (yes, where I live psych wards have bathroom doors that can be locked) and started cutting. I caught the blood in a 0.4l cup to estimate how much I had lost and how long it would take to bleed out. It took me around two hours to lose a bit more than 2l, then my blood started clotting like crazy. I kept trying to reopen the wounds but the bleeding kept slowing down. Unfortunately I did not manage to really lose any more blood before the nurse came to my room and unlocked the bathroom door after I refused to come out. So yeah, that was that, I got some stitches and infusions, got yelled at a lot and kept passing out for the next few days. Now here I am a few months later, still alive. However, I find comfort in knowing that it would have worked if I had been able to keep my blood from clotting and had had a bit more time. So here's my plan on how to actually make it work next time, just in case I have to ctb earlier than planned:
I hope this might be interesting or useful for someone and maybe someone can help me answer my question on how much blood thinner to take. Thank you!
I am new here, so I hope I am doing this right…
I know that slitting your wrists is a notoriously unreliable method, I think a Havard study lists the success rate at 1.6%. I have two other, more solid plans, but they'll both take a few more months to prepare so I need a backup plan in case things get unbearable before then. From experience I am pretty confident I could make slitting my wrists work and I wanted to share my plan in case anyone is interested in some ideas on how to pull this off and also to get some feedback and some questions answered. [I do not want to encourage anyone to use this method. I am only sharing this for informational purposes and to possibly get some feedback.]
Some background info in case anyone cares: I attempted a few months ago by cutting my wrists. I was inpatient back then so I did not have a lot of options, and a friend managed to sneak in some razor blades. I waited until the nurse had been by for the first nightly check-in, then I locked myself in the bathroom (yes, where I live psych wards have bathroom doors that can be locked) and started cutting. I caught the blood in a 0.4l cup to estimate how much I had lost and how long it would take to bleed out. It took me around two hours to lose a bit more than 2l, then my blood started clotting like crazy. I kept trying to reopen the wounds but the bleeding kept slowing down. Unfortunately I did not manage to really lose any more blood before the nurse came to my room and unlocked the bathroom door after I refused to come out. So yeah, that was that, I got some stitches and infusions, got yelled at a lot and kept passing out for the next few days. Now here I am a few months later, still alive. However, I find comfort in knowing that it would have worked if I had been able to keep my blood from clotting and had had a bit more time. So here's my plan on how to actually make it work next time, just in case I have to ctb earlier than planned:
- I don't live alone, I don't want to traumatize anyone or be disturbed again, so I'll get a motel room for two nights (to make sure I have plenty of time before being found), hang the "do not disturb"-sign on the door and another sign on the bathroom door, saying it should only be opened by medical or psych professionals due to a potentially traumatizing scene
- I will use a medical scalpel instead of razor blades - razor blades are kind of hard to use with precision because they are sharp on both sides and hard to hold. With a scalpel it should be easier to cut a straight line and to push it down hard enough to get down to the arteries
- I will take blood thinners before I start to keep my blood from clotting. Here I would like some advice: Does anyone know how much to take? Usually the package lists a suggested daily dose, should I just take that or more? How much more?
- I know I can bear the pain of cutting deep into my wrist, but why not make it a bit easier? I will get lidocaine (where I live it's sold without prescription) both as a solution that can be injected and as a spray. I will use the injection 10-30 min before I start and use the spray as needed
- I'll also take some lorazepam and drink a bit of alcohol (did that last time as well) to keep myself from freaking out and to navigate some of the "side effects" of bleeding out like a rapid heartbeat etc.
- I'll use a cup to measure blood loss again just to estimate how things are going
- I'll put on some comfy clothes and take my iPad with me to watch something or listen to music - tbh, last time my problem wasn't that I was getting panicky or had a hard time fighting my SI, not at all actually, but I was sooooo bored. Like I was literally bleeding to death and all I could think about was how annoyed I was that it took so long and I could not even "take a break" to have a smoke. So yeah, I'll make sure to have some entertainment next time.
- I don't plan on using them, but just as a precaution, I will take steri strips with me. If anything should go wrong, if somehow my blood still clots after taking blood thinners or I should somehow change my mind, I need to be able to take care of the wounds myself. I don't want to go to the ER and be admitted.
I hope this might be interesting or useful for someone and maybe someone can help me answer my question on how much blood thinner to take. Thank you!