Would you wish you had never been born or do you think any stage of your life was productive and helped someone?
I personally know that I have helped people... but in the end I always spoil all relationships... So I think it would be better for everyone who knows me if I had never been born.
Yes, I would wish it, but only due to the nature of the existence I've had being incredibly turbulent.
I do think at some points of my life, they were in fact productive but that productivity came to a screeching halt or a lack of care/concern/ignorance/oppression/refusal to accept me as a person rather than a possession was absolutely a factor in that.
That my decisions were influenced by abuse or abusers and that I was repeatedly "shut down" or "cast out" or "ignored" or "ostracized."
I have been in or out of trouble or able or unable to "help" in various ways. I have attempted to use my voice, make my own choices, and been isolated or "cast out" for that.
I have "given up" and "survived", I have expressed myself in various ways that are outside of a societal norm.
I was lied to, or lied about, or pushed in the "wrong" direction, or I have been pushed above and beyond to a limit that boils over into what I would describe as "rage" and torment. I was blamed for things that were not my fault. I was pushed into shit that I didn't want to be pushed into.
So I mean.
If I could reset my existence it would be to a safe home with a positive influence rather than destruction or self destruction.