Help would you understand me somehow?

[dyn00ss]

I've been thinking that I'm really scared of dying, I think it gets bigger when I think of a slow and agonizing death, but I think I could only get ctb if I had someone else involved in it with me, like live streaming, something that people would be "waiting" and I would have to ctb anyway..
i don't understand myself i want to die and i know the only way out is ctb but i'm afraid i don't know when i'll be ready i wish i could be i could try today but i don't think i'll be brave enough..

this text is useless because i know i have to decide when i will be ready, but if you read this thank you <3

 

[stoopid]

I guess it's normal, death is your friend not your enemy. Some kind of fear is normal, nature gave us something like a survival instinct but it's a pain in the ass sometimes

 

[FuneralCry]

After all, actually going through with suicide certainly is something that isn't straightforward and it's understandable having fears as it's like the survival instinct exists just to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped here. But anyway I wish you the best, I see it as being very unfortunate how there isn't an option for us to just peacefully pass away in our sleep.

 

[missingpeace]

Same, I think if someone was around me to tell me that it's going to be ok, I would be able to do it. I guess it's natural instinct to be afraid of our own deaths after all we are programed for self preservation. It's really hard to overcome that, I know I'm serious about ctb and it's my only possible future route, I would say I'm ready to go at any moment, but when I will be pushed over the edge for a successful ctb.. I dont truly know.. will keep trying till I get there though..

 

[tuyu]

I'm not afraid to die (I welcome death with open arms) but I'm definitely afraid of the pain. I've had a close death experience before and the only thing I could think of at that moment was that I wanted the pain to stop.…… was not relieved to have survived though.

Also, watching way too many crime scene cleaning / cleanup after someone dies at home videos = I won't want to ctb at my own home or by stuff like jumping etc. it just inconveniences / horrifies others and is not easy to cleanup