Would you still consider CTB if humans weren't awful?

[sadbadpsychogirl]

yeah probably. i'm not in great health and i can't live up to my own expectations for myself. i'm too old to start over and nothing is new or interesting anymore.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Yeah a lot of people have been shitty to me. But its not the cause for my CTB. My mental illness is the cause.

 

[Grant Me Death]

Yes because the way I am is the reason I want to kill myself more so than the way other people are.

 

[motyxia]

Yes & no. If no human ever was awful then my family & how I grew up would be different, that's a big reason I want to CTB. If most humans didn't want me & others like me to CTB because we're a burden to society/we weren't considered a burden, that'd make me feel a lot better too. I also would've been given proper help instead of whatver crap they've been doing to me for the past 14 years. So all of those things better, the answer is yes, in that I'd extend how long I live. No because no matter what eventually I would CTB. Disease that's too much for me to handle is inevitable with aging, I want my death to be in my control.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Source? I think it's rather the opposite.

If you weren't productive and didn't contribute to the survival of your tribe, they let you starve to death.

Not to mention that if you had Down's syndrome or stuff like that, your ancestors would have thrown you in the trash bin for real

Idk, that's a thing that the teacher back then told us in a lesson.

This basically...
Humans aren't "awful" or "bad" , they just are.

They invented the notions of "good" and "evil" , which don't make any sense for other living things....
Of course I'd ctb in any case. And honestly I'm tired people are generalising false beliefs like this one.

Your thread looks like the one where the OP said they were better than all other human beings,
because implicitly when you say "humans are awful", you're not often included, paradoxically.

I've never said that I'm better than all the other human beings, please copy&paste where I said this. I'm no better than anyone, in fact i'm the worst, and I hate myself just like I hate everyone else.

Just because English is not my native language and it's hard for me to express myself in English (or express myself at all) doesn't mean I think I'm better than all humans :D. Try less assumption next time.

 

[Raminiki]

While humanity is truly vile and deserves to burn - an end to all the bad people and mercy for their victims, life itself is inherently selfish and cruel. Everything competes against, exploits, murders and consumes everything else. That's natural selection, and the brutal truth of the selfish gene. The cycle of endless suffering is ever perpetuated by blind reproduction.

I want no part of it. I'm an antinatalist, and an efilist. I will quietly go into the void in despair of those struggling to survive and perpetuate into this violent world. I leave it to those that think it's worth the struggle, the cost in cruelty is just too great for me to stomach. What one individual benefits from and indulges in that makes their own life comfortable comes at an immense cost to countless others, and the scale of ignorance of that is profound.

I just pray life on other worlds evolved by cooperative means that don't involve such vast destruction, cruelty and torture. That is the only way I can imagine civilisations developing enough to become interstellar or ascend beyond the need for self-devouring selfishness.

 

[hashtagnull]

This basically...
Humans aren't "awful" or "bad" , they just are.

They invented the notions of "good" and "evil" , which don't make any sense for other living things....
Of course I'd ctb in any case. And honestly I'm tired people are generalising false beliefs like this one.

Your thread looks like the one where the OP said they were better than all other human beings,
because implicitly when you say "humans are awful", you're not often included, paradoxically.

I have never treated anyone as badly as some people have treated me.

Animals act according to their nature - they don't have free will. Humans do, and they choose to be horrible to each other a lot of the time. Even when they choose to be nice, it's often for some ulterior motive. If I don't like a person, I avoid them, not try to hurt them. I don't pretend to like people to get something from them. That's all I would ask from others, but apparently that's just too much to ask.

I don't think I'm better than anyone, just different, which is why people dislike me. Obviously, I'm doing worse than the vast majority of humanity, to be even using this site. I barely consider myself human.

Why is life beautiful? It's full of toil & suffering. Animals are forced to viciously kill & eat each other to survive, you know. This planet is a horrible, unhospitable place. Go camping in the wilderness for a month without any supplies & enjoy starving & hiding from the wolves & bears in the freezing cold...

It depends on your perspective, obviously. As a modern human, you don't have to be in that position, of being killed by wildlife. Most people here probably don't have to be in the shitty position we're in, it's just circumstances. Plus it's relative. Ask most people in 3rd world countries how happy they are, and I bet they would be happier than someone with clinical depression living in a first world mansion.

I can remember how good happiness feels, and it's only circumstances keeping it from me now.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

In probability: yes, but my desire would not be as strong.

 

[Ch92921]

Its not the people or society its me who is suffering!

 

[Risperdead]

 

[ihatemylife]

Humans evilness is behind the root cause of almost every bit of suffering on this planet. I hate being human. I try to be as far from human as I can. I literally have no interest in 99 percent of the things most people do. If it was possible I would live in a cave and just fend for myself with no human contact. If I didn't survive, oh well I'm not scared to die and im smart enough to know I make absolutely no difference to the universe. I would do myself in right now if only I had a 100% reliable method.
Humans evilness is behind the root cause of almost every bit of suffering on this planet. I hate being human. I try to be as far from human as I can. I literally have no interest in 99 percent of the things most people do. If it was possible I would live in a cave and just fend for myself with no human contact. If I didn't survive, oh well I'm not scared to die and im smart enough to know I make absolutely no difference to the universe. I would do myself in right now if only I had a 100% reliable method.

 

[Ch92921]

Yes because I am mistake of nature.

No, I wouldn't. Over 50% of the reason I want to die is because of how I have been tossed aside, put down, abused, etc. by others. If most people were kinder and empathetic I'd definitely want to live.

For me similar.

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

Well I did try to help others to feel good. But I didn't capitalise on it- record it on a camera and show the entire world.
I did it because I knew it would make them feel good.

I used to be the guy who would always look out for others.
If a joke was made at someone's expense, I'd try to detract from it to make them feel better.
If someone seemed down, I'd ask them how they were doing.
When my buddies ran out of weed, I'd shout them some.
I used to just give a friend of mine money on the regular because I knew it was hard for him to earn (he had mental health issues), despite being poor myself.
Our family used to have boarders to help with rent, often they were struggling (refugees, schizophrenic, etc.) so we'd charge them very little, despite being very poor ourselves.

I loaned an old colleague I barely knew $500 because he was struggling to pay his mortgage. He ghosted me and stopped returning my calls.
I saw him around a few years later and spoke with him. He went white as a ghost. I asked him what he was doing for a living. He says "debt collector". I told him that it was rather ironic all things considered. He didn't look well, so I asked what was wrong. He said he'd had a heart attack.
I told him to keep the money and that I hoped he'd recover well (My Mum had heart disease so it struck a chord).
This is despite my friends telling me to make him cough up. That just isn't my style.

But after:
• Having my knee cap dislocated from a blindside kick by some asshole at age 15 (with whom I had no beef), and hearing him laugh about it as he walked away;
• Getting no support in rehabbing it (I was only 15 and I'd never dealt with an injury before) as my Mum was ill from working herself into the ground whilst my rich Father traveled around the world, thus reinjuring it again a short time later;
• My Mum telling me her Dad abandoned her family when she was 5 and started a new one, and he barely visited her thoughout her life;
• Seeing my Father make 700k in profit from an art deal then giving us absolutely none of it, despite his parents paying for him to travel the world in his 20's;
• Being body shamed by my own supposed friends, to the point where I developed body dysmorphic disorder;
• Suffering nerve pain from jaw issues caused by a tooth I lost at a very young age due to inability to afford dental treatment, which destroyed my career, crushed my spirit and annihilated any remaining quaity of life;
• Seeing my grandparents force my brother out of the room they let him rent (right after he'd moved all his stuff in) because he was irritated by my Grandfather opening the front door with a key and letting himself in rather than knocking on the door;
• Learning that my Dad has been a drug smuggler and dealer throughout my lifetime, the proceeds of which we have never seen a dime of (even if it is blood money);
• Using marijuana as a minor to cope with the pain/experience of being assaulted, being told that it was OK by both my parents as it wasn't addictive, then becoming addicted to it;
• Having my own brother tell me my pain is all in my head when I haven't slept in days due to how relentless it is;
• Watching friends pull away now that I'm in pain and struggling.

Humans are hollow. They only love you when it's easy. When you're fun. If something bad happens- whether it's your fault or not- they'll disappear.
They'll hurt you, irreparably, for a laugh.
Humans are scum so much of the time. I wanted to open a mental health retreat to help support those that struggle. I wanted to help my disabled cousin with her interests.
But life took all my opportunites away for fuck all. I can't help anyone when I can barely sleep.
I can't help anyone when I feel no joy at all every single day.
Humans suck so much that they will even deny me a peaceful death. When my life is trampled all over before I even reach adulthood and I just want to die, they won't even afford me that. Even in death I am alone and in pain.

I wish we'd all wake up and smell the bullshit. That people are precious. That health and unity matter. That once the ones we love are gone, they're gone forever.

Alas, if it's coming, it came too late for me.

 

[Ta555]

Yes, because all my issues are internal...i.e. health things. I really really don't want to CTB because there is so much fun stuff I want to do and have all these hobbies and just have so many things I want to do but I also can't live like this for very long.
When I think about CTB I get so angry and want to cry because there's so much good shit but at the same time I feel like I'm being tortured and I can't go on forever.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Absolutely yes, because I don't care how awful other humans are. For all I know many of them could have good reasons or at least excuses for being that way. Me on the other hand I have nobody to blame but myself so my CTB is merely a punishment to myself for my own awfulness. If everyone else was actually good then I would feel even more alone and even more likely to CTB because of how evil I am.

 

[Someone123]

Truthfully probably over 75% of the people I have met have been decent people- maybe as high as 90%. The the smaller percent who are really evil wreck a lot of lives, especially among people who are vulnerable due t abuse or others reasons. There is a reason than less than 2% of people die by suicide- because less than 2% of people have such bad luck that this is a good decision for them (also, as we can see here, ctb is not eassy to do- but still I think less than 5% of people really want to ctb).

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I think we deserve to die in a nuclear ball of fire

Or at least the Zionist-owned and Chinese politicians

 

[Crazy4u]

I'm 50/50. I may want to live If I had a chance to live with tame animals and spend my entire day with them. I'm not 100% sure about that. I have many reasons to CTB: some about awful humans, and some about myself and circumstances

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Yes because l'm so tired and l just want to switch off, 50yrs old and l'm burnt out!

 

[Elegy]

"humanity is my main reason to suicide".
Please.
Your problem seems to be accepting you are part of the human race, disgusting creatures that we be.

 

[TheHatedOne]

[Mod note: Quoted content deleted]

Hey, I want to say that I love you for saying the truth.

Like you I thought this was a safe space but I was being silly, because, at the end of the day, we are on the internet and many people take advantage of the anonimity to trash others and make their life worse as if their life wasn't already bad.

Speaking from experience, from all the bullying and name calling I got on here, that NOWHERE on the internet it is safe and you should be aware of people everywhere. Humans are corrupt to the core and while many people on this site are empathetic and kind, there are some who broke in and make everything worse. It happens everywhere. Unfortunately there's no place where you can be safe 100% and I learnt this the hard way. Just because this is a site for those who are genuinely suffering, it won't stop the sociopaths, psychopaths, sadists etc. from coming in here.

I got shat on and name called just becuase I have a certain sexual orientation. You always have to expect the worst. I used to have a user on here who was my friend who did ctb, but prior that he left the site for the same reasons.

Nowadays I'm taking a break, but my break is posting as little and as rare as ever until I won't come anymore. Silly me for thinking that I'd belong somewhere.

Family doesn't exist. Humans are selfish to the core and everyone looks out for their own. Only if you are lucky enough to meet the great kind of people maybe.

With these being said, this is the reality. You have to be wary until you meet the right kind of people, but even then you have to be wary cause that might just be a facade. Happened to me two times recently.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

This is like asking would i consider CTB if i was a tardigrade or if the earth was flat.

 

[whywere]

Hey, I want to say that I love you for saying the truth.

Like you I thought this was a safe space but I was being silly, because, at the end of the day, we are on the internet and many people take advantage of the anonimity to trash others and make their life worse as if their life wasn't already bad.

Speaking from experience, from all the bullying and name calling I got on here, that NOWHERE on the internet it is safe and you should be aware of people everywhere. Humans are corrupt to the core and while many people on this site are empathetic and kind, there are some who broke in and make everything worse. It happens everywhere. Unfortunately there's no place where you can be safe 100% and I learnt this the hard way. Just because this is a site for those who are genuinely suffering, it won't stop the sociopaths, psychopaths, sadists etc. from coming in here.

I got shat on and name called just becuase I have a certain sexual orientation. You always have to expect the worst. I used to have a user on here who was my friend who did ctb, but prior that he left the site for the same reasons.

Nowadays I'm taking a break, but my break is posting as little and as rare as ever until I won't come anymore. Silly me for thinking that I'd belong somewhere.

Family doesn't exist. Humans are selfish to the core and everyone looks out for their own. Only if you are lucky enough to meet the great kind of people maybe.

With these being said, this is the reality. You have to be wary until you meet the right kind of people, but even then you have to be wary cause that might just be a facade. Happened to me two times recently.

HI! @AverageFanEnjoyer, you are an awesome, caring and loving to me here on SS. I have in all my years been zinged a lot for various things and for me at least I learned to let them rot in their own juices. I always say what goes around comes around and yes in all my years I have seen it many times in business and personal life where someone was a jerk, and it came back and bit them tenfold.

You are a good friend to me, and I stand with you hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder always.

Take care and have a great rest of this week.

Walter

 

[aprilshowers]

I would absolutely still kill myself if humanity suddenly became "good." Honestly, I don't even hate humanity now, I just pity them, myself included. We are all so ignorant that I can't bring myself to blame them for their faults. All I can do is hope they realize that the only escape from the ignorance is to commit suicide.

 

[greyautumnsky]

Maybe not. I often wonder how much of my poor health is related to human issues. If poverty didn't exist. If I hadn't been abused. If war didn't exist. Would I be messed up in the head then? Would my body be broken? Would I have cancer? Blah blah blah?

I don't know. It's hard to imagine being... happy.

 

[LoveTakesManyForms]

I know this doesn't help but I'm so sorry for your suffering. You sound like a compassionate person who does their best to help anyone and everyone even when it's inconvenient. Very few people like that exist. It's a shame that karma isn't real. I disagree that all people are precious but you sound like one of the few. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

Thank you. I feel like I really tried. But I just don't have the tools- like being able to sleep, for example- that I need in order to run a life anymore.
At this point I'm just scared. Scared of having to die by hanging when I want to die by gunshot. Scared of having a lonely, miserable death after a horrendously painful life.
It breaks my heart that we live in such a callous society. A society that could easily afford me a humane death, but won't.
I played my part, I fought unbelievably hard. I stood up for what I thought was right. I tried to better myself, and shared my knowledge and love to others.I don't deserve to die like this. Nobody does.
Why have so many societies been spineless enough as to allow the government to decide how our loved ones should die?
I'm not asking for the world, just a moment alone with a shotgun in the woods. We'll shell innocent children in their own homeland, but we won't give the coup de grace to one of our own.
I never hurt a fly, even though I was harmed so badly. And I get to spend my final moments choking for air, filled with intense dread about the abyss that awaits me. Unable to have a meaningful conversation with my loved ones, as they refuse to believe I'm dying of depression.
It fills me with such sorrow and horror that I gasp for air, and shudder with despair. And it's a reality I face every day, over and over and over again.
An endless nightmare, for which I have done nothing, absolutely nothing, to deserve.

I did everything I was supposed to do: I kicked my addiction to the drugs I used to cope, got in the gym, meditated. Tried to fill my time with worthwhile endeavours...
But still I hear an unending scream in my mind: kill yourself, set yourself free. It never, ever goes away.

I don't like the person I'm becoming: narcissistic, selfish, scared, panicked. It truly would be doing everyone a favour for me to vanish.
There's no way for me to go back in time and prevent the horrors that brought me here, even though I'd give anything to do that.
To go back to being the man I once was: kind, helpful, generous, intelligent...
I can't do these things when my illness continues to grow. It's taking over every aspect of my life and I can't stop it.

 

[whywere]

Thank you. I feel like I really tried. But I just don't have the tools- like being able to sleep, for example- that I need in order to run a life anymore.
At this point I'm just scared. Scared of having to die by hanging when I want to die by gunshot. Scared of having a lonely, miserable death after a horrendously painful life.
It breaks my heart that we live in such a callous society. A society that could easily afford me a humane death, but won't.
I played my part, I fought unbelievably hard. I stood up for what I thought was right. I tried to better myself, and shared my knowledge and love to others.I don't deserve to die like this. Nobody does.
Why have so many societies been spineless enough as to allow the government to decide how our loved ones should die?
I'm not asking for the world, just a moment alone with a shotgun in the woods. We'll shell innocent children in their own homeland, but we won't give the coup de grace to one of our own.
I never hurt a fly, even though I was harmed so badly. And I get to spend my final moments choking for air, filled with intense dread about the abyss that awaits me. Unable to have a meaningful conversation with my loved ones, as they refuse to believe I'm dying of depression.
It fills me with such sorrow and horror that I gasp for air, and shudder with despair. And it's a reality I face every day, over and over and over again.
An endless nightmare, for which I have done nothing, absolutely nothing, to deserve.

I did everything I was supposed to do: I kicked drugs, got in the gym, meditated. Tried to fill my time with worthwhile endeavours...
But still I hear an unending scream in my mind: kill yourself, set yourself free. It never, ever goes away.

I don't like the person I'm becoming: narcissistic, selfish, scared, panicked. It truly would be doing everyone a favour for me to vanish.

HI!! I am so sorry that life has been crappy to you. Your post makes my heart ache for you as we are friends on SS and when you hurt so do I.

I have had a crappy upbringing and life has been interesting for sure for me, so I do have so idea of life, I guess.

Always try and remember that I really care about you, I truly wear my heart on my sleeve, for better or worse, and you are a kind, and caring soul. One can tell this from your post, for sure.

Take good care of yourself and I send you lots of sunny blue skies, and the knowledge that you are cared about.

Walter

 

[Niko66]

I don't think so. If humans weren't awful I wouldn't have been abused, or to hide my pain, or to be rejected for being different. I could feel comfortable talking about my difficulties and pain. I don't think I would be anywhere near the place I am at in such a world, but that's just not how we work.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

If society wasn't awful sometimes then my life would be very different. Even if it wasn't (somehow, like if humans magically stopped being awful from today), I don't think I would be considering ctb.

 

[Samsara]

Yes, I don't think humans are awful, I just feel I am irreversibly broken in a way that makes me incompatible with this life