My reasons for ctb are mostly circumstantial, so if everything turned out right for me no I probably wouldn't want to ctb. But in terms of these circumstances they were not really within my control. I think I have largely stuck to my own values and principles throughout my life, i made all the sacrifices I could without complaint, I put my family's needs first. The major problem is that I was too optimistic, too trusting, and really trusted the wrong person and was betrayed at the worst possible time in the worst possible way. The abuse and circumstances has left me unable to trust my own ability to pick the right person or trust others again. I've been betrayed and maliciously abused by my loved one, that's why I want to ctb. If what I had done wrong was to pick the wrong person then yes if I had picked the right person I thjnk I wouldn't have ctbed. But I didn't know, they lied about many things and I was naive.
I guess the point is you could do everything right, but you don't have control over other people's actions and intentions, and those can happen to you because of the hand you were dealt in life or just unlucky in encountering and trusting shitty people.