Would you rather die than do 30+ years to life in prison and you're already 40+ years old?

[White_Room293]

I'll make sure I go out in a fucking hail of gunfire.

I don't want to admit it but I agree.

 

[Mr2005]

What does that mean?

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I'm falling heavily on the side of killing myself would be preferable to prison but I'm having some doubts. My experience with jail (never been in my life until these past couple months), has been horrible. I'm pretty healthy and don't have any mental issues, but I'm 48 and I've been told the possibilities of getting out early are pretty slim.

If I were in your position, I'd definitely kill myself. I'm 25 now and I'm already suicidal, even without the possibility of prison. The future of being in prison will definitely be enough to push me over the edge.

 

[mathieu]

I would rather die, for sure.

 

[Mr2005]

Does this count as encouragement?

 

[ChristopherWalken]

I'm sorry that's the situation. And do I understand right that you're going to be taken into custody soon, and won't be able to get out on bail - that's why you need to make your decision very soon?
What would happen if, as @Rachel74 suggests, your lawyer told the court that you're a suicide risk if you're put in custody? Would that gain you any time?

They don't care at all about that here in the US. In fact, the suicide risk prisoners have it rougher if anything.

30 + Years? Did you say what the charges are?
And 47?
Is that your personal pic for your Avatar?
You look 27 if so.
Sorry.
I shoulda added.
I wanna die now.
I am nearing half a century and my whole "life" has been a torturous existence. I am here in desperation now.

Just talked to lawyer and she said more like 15-20 years. Can't talk about charges.
That is not my personal pic it's Nickelback but everybody says I look like him.
But yeah for my age I look very young and healthy though. And yet I still wanna die now too. This world is so cruel and unforgiving and happiness turns out to be just an illusion.
I hear you. At half a century struggling you realize that things are never going to get any better only worse.

Does this count as encouragement?

I wouldn't say it's encouragement just cold reality.

 

[wendydong1]

Depends on what kind of crime...

If it's violent, pedophilia or caused harm.to many others, then go rot in prison

If it's non violent, didn't really cause harm... Then whatever you want to do

 

[I’vehadenough]

I'm falling heavily on the side of killing myself would be preferable to prison but I'm having some doubts. My experience with jail (never been in my life until these past couple months), has been horrible. I'm pretty healthy and don't have any mental issues, but I'm 48 and I've been told the possibilities of getting out early are pretty slim.

I'd go to jail, write books, etc. Politics change, you might get out early, unless you shot up a school

 

[Stan]

Since you are obviously not in custody they do not deem you a risk I assume. But I think I would rather leave existence now than be incarcerated and be released as a pensioner with no home or finances

 

[ChristopherWalken]

Exactly. I don't see the point in going there to suffer for all those years and probably die in there. The real issue is I kinda have a little ptsd from jail and it would be so much easier to ctb at home than to try and do it in prison. They make it really hard in prison. Unless I could study up and become an expert at night night method with a bedsheet or something before I go in.
Maybe I can survive prison though... I have this little hope but I know hope is a delusion. But if I could manage to delude myself for all those years I'd finally be free. Dammit. Thank you all for helping me through this I am completely losing my mind over here. This shock and ptsd are real from just a few well several days in there but maybe it would be bearable I mean others have done it. If I just had a pen and paper and something to read I think I could do it. And maybe in the future the world would become kinder? Hahahaha how stupid that sounds now that I say it.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

30 years at 48 is pretty much a life sentence. Once you get out chances are you'll have to work. How many places are going to hire a 78 yo ex-con. Meh if it was me, I would ctb. 30 years of someone crapping next to where I sleep would pure torture.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I'm falling heavily on the side of killing myself would be preferable to prison but I'm having some doubts. My experience with jail (never been in my life until these past couple months), has been horrible. I'm pretty healthy and don't have any mental issues, but I'm 48 and I've been told the possibilities of getting out early are pretty slim.

I would never want to be in jail. If you have no mental issues now being locked up like an animal will surely give you them. I've been in my house for 14 years. It's like solitary confinement but with better food. It's torture.

Exactly. I don't see the point in going there to suffer for all those years and probably die in there. The real issue is I kinda have a little ptsd from jail and it would be so much easier to ctb at home than to try and do it in prison. They make it really hard in prison. Unless I could study up and become an expert at night night method with a bedsheet or something before I go in.
Maybe I can survive prison though... I have this little hope but I know hope is a delusion. But if I could manage to delude myself for all those years I'd finally be free. Dammit. Thank you all for helping me through this I am completely losing my mind over here. This shock and ptsd are real from just a few well several days in there but maybe it would be bearable I mean others have done it. If I just had a pen and paper and something to read I think I could do it. And maybe in the future the world would become kinder? Hahahaha how stupid that sounds now that I say it.

Are you planning on going to prison?

I would never want to be in jail. If you have no mental issues now being locked up like an animal will surely give you them. I've been in my house for 14 years. It's like solitary confinement but with better food. It's torture. That's no way to exist. I don't understand. Are you planning on going to prison for something? If you've never been confined believe me it's no way to exist. It's not living. It's dying a slow mental death every day. I'm sorry I just don't understand why you want to go to prison.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

I'd kill myself. The shows you see on TV such as Oz etc are based on reality. I have knowledge of people who went to jail and its a pretty violent place to be for 20 years.


This guy has been in prison and tells REAL stories about his life. Check out his channels.

If I just had a pen and paper and something to read I think I could do it.

I am clausterphobic and I have to have freedom. I can't imagine doing a bid. Not to mention the possibility of being raped or shanked. I watched a few YT jail documentaries where guys will gang up on someone new and turn them out. All rape is traumatic but if you are not gay and they turn you into a boy everyone will want a piece of you. Your soul will be eaten alive.

I mention this since you say you look like the Nickelback pic; which is handome. Not sure how much weight you have on you but if you are not a "hard" looking guy you may have lots of trouble.

 

[Lucet]

Prison? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Fuck that. It really depends on what you have left to live for.

For me? Even if I got hit with 10 years I would call it quits.

 

[AsexualBarbieBoy]

Is running away not an option? Flee to a country where you won't get extradited.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

Is running away not an option? Flee to a country where you won't get extradited.

I doubt I would get very far or even be granted a passport. Too late.

 

[Rachel74]

The only thing I can think of is death row inmates : they are usually relieved when they have their sentences conmuted to life in prison. Maybe its because they are already in prison. There are a couple of documentaries on Youtube about death row and life in prison that you may want to watch. People having made a single very bad decision one point in their lives and having ( and how ) to deal with the consequences of having to spend the rest of ther lives in prison is a very common theme of those documentaries. I dont know if thats your case but maybe you can find something in them that you can relate to ?

I wouldnt give too much weight to our opinions tbh. Most of us are not a good measure of an average well functioning human being imo. If you are not completely sure and you dont mind hanging as your method of choice, maybe you could consider staying alive until you know for a fact what to expect and if you are resilient enough. If it doesnt work out for you or you cant handle it, there is always the option of hanging yourself in prison. I wouldnt because there is no way in life I would bet in my current situation against hanging and being found too early but just in case you havent considered that option as another possible one.

I think the main problem with death row is they are waiting 20 years plus to die, I would just want it done asap.

 

[H2H2]

I think the main problem with death row is they are waiting 20 years plus to die, I would just want it done asap.

This is one of the docs I was refering to . There are other documentaries about russian and japanese prisons where inmates express similar sentiments. If you are interested I can look for them. I wouldnt go to prison if I was in OP's skin. I meant no wrong. I was just trying to say that we may not be the best people to ask for advice because we have already chosen suicide.

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[Rachel74]

This is one of the docs I was refering to . There are other documentaries about russian and japanese prisons where inmates express similar sentiments. If you are interested I can look for them. I wouldnt go to prison if I was in OP's skin. I meant no wrong. I was just trying to say that we may not be the best people to ask for advice because we have already chosen suicide.

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Thank you for these. I totally agree with your sentiments,unless we know what the OPs crime is we can't advise accordingly.

 

[Astral316]

Give prison a try. If you don't like it you can always provoke a low ranking gang member into shanking you to death.

 

[laiduponit]

If you're going to kill yourself then why not try to continue pleading against the convictions or hell - just run away and leave the country, I mean - either way you're going to kill yourself or go to jail for 10 - 20+ years. I'd hate to even do one year.

 

[paul29]

Let me give you a contrarian perspective, since that's what you're looking for.

I haven't stared a formal imprisonment in the face, but I did attempt, harshly and repeatedly, as an alternative to penilessness and/or psychiatric imprisonment - what I now refer to as "economic slavery". When I was in the resulting coma, I lived a greater hell than anything I could have suffered on earth. The worst of it saw me seeing bright red under torching heat, feeling as though I was being boiled to death. When I came out of the coma, I found myself stuck in the very same hell I sought to avoid.

Now, maybe you're able to execute your attempt with a conviction I wasn't able to harness, and maybe what you escape into is in fact better than what you're trying to avoid. But it might also be worse - or you might be destined to bear out the same fate either way.

I don't know what you or anyone else should do, but this is how I frame the question.

 

[Soul]

It is an unusual puzzle to try to imagine the possible outcomes without knowing more of the variables. @ChristopherWalken doesn't want to die but he doesn't want to go to prison. Apparently he'd be in with the "general population" where things get rough, but we don't know what prison he's likely to end up in to have an idea of how rough or whether it's a well-funded place with forward-thinking programs to let our Christopher do something uplifting. How long would it be before he's eligible for parole? Will his apparently caring family hang with him until then? Will he have decent prospects in life when he gets out?

@ChristopherWalken, when you consider those factors, do any of them influence your decision?

 

[BipolarExpat]

When I was in the resulting coma, I lived a greater hell than anything I could have suffered on earth. The worst of it saw me seeing bright red under torching heat, feeling as though I was being boiled to death. When I came out of the coma, I found myself stuck in the very same hell I sought to avoid.

What an astonishing nightmare. I'm sorry.

 

[woxihuanni]

It's obvious what we all would choose, but if your crime is anything like rape, etc., then again sympathy would obviously run low, the general idea being who cares if you have relief or suffer?

Let me give you a contrarian perspective, since that's what you're looking for.

I haven't stared a formal imprisonment in the face, but I did attempt, harshly and repeatedly, as an alternative to penilessness and/or psychiatric imprisonment - what I now refer to as "economic slavery". When I was in the resulting coma, I lived a greater hell than anything I could have suffered on earth. The worst of it saw me seeing bright red under torching heat, feeling as though I was being boiled to death. When I came out of the coma, I found myself stuck in the very same hell I sought to avoid.

Now, maybe you're able to execute your attempt with a conviction I wasn't able to harness, and maybe what you escape into is in fact better than what you're trying to avoid. But it might also be worse - or you might be destined to bear out the same fate either way.

I don't know what you or anyone else should do, but this is how I frame the question.

I'm sorry you went through this. What was the method?

 

[BipolarExpat]

Apparently he'd be in with the "general population" where things get rough, but we don't know what prison he's likely to end up in to have an idea of how rough or whether it's a well-funded place with forward-thinking programs to let our Christopher do something uplifting.

How long would it be before he's eligible for parole? Will his apparently caring family hang with him until then? Will he have decent prospects in life when he gets out?

Very well thought out and important distinctions.

Hard to make such crucial decisions without obtaining as much truth as possible, first.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

It is an unusual puzzle to try to imagine the possible outcomes without knowing more of the variables. @ChristopherWalken doesn't want to die but he doesn't want to go to prison. Apparently he'd be in with the "general population" where things get rough, but we don't know what prison he's likely to end up in to have an idea of how rough or whether it's a well-funded place with forward-thinking programs to let our Christopher do something uplifting. How long would it be before he's eligible for parole? Will his apparently caring family hang with him until then? Will he have decent prospects in life when he gets out?

@ChristopherWalken, when you consider those factors, do any of them influence your decision?

It'll probably be a rough prison I live in a pretty backwards state.
Not sure how well funded it would be but from what I've heard from friends it's not one of those comfy prisons.
I'm not sure about parole, I think my family would be with me for the long haul.
I might have no prospects when I get out. I at least have saved a decent amount in a 401k but it wouldn't cover retirement at all, and I'd be retirement age.
Part of the problem that I haven't mentioned is that there is a person with deep connections in the narcotics world that might seek to finish the job on me when I get in. I'm not sure if he'd take it that far though.

 

[paul29]

I'm sorry you went through this. What was the method?

The coma was the result of a pill cocktail.

 

[woxihuanni]

The coma was the result of a pill cocktail.

This is the second account of a hell coma I've heard, it's terrifying. It's all so terrifying.

 

[Rachel74]

It'll probably be a rough prison I live in a pretty backwards state.
Not sure how well funded it would be but from what I've heard from friends it's not one of those comfy prisons.
I'm not sure about parole, I think my family would be with me for the long haul.
I might have no prospects when I get out. I at least have saved a decent amount in a 401k but it wouldn't cover retirement at all, and I'd be retirement age.
Part of the problem that I haven't mentioned is that there is a person with deep connections in the narcotics world that might seek to finish the job on me when I get in. I'm not sure if he'd take it that far though.

If you have that amount of money and it's a white collar crime then I'd leave the country if I was you. You could easily change your appearance. Or turn states evidence against this person who wants to kill you inside and go into witness protection.