ChristopherWalken

ChristopherWalken

Member
Aug 15, 2019
99
I'm falling heavily on the side of killing myself would be preferable to prison but I'm having some doubts. My experience with jail (never been in my life until these past couple months), has been horrible. I'm pretty healthy and don't have any mental issues, but I'm 48 and I've been told the possibilities of getting out early are pretty slim.
 
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cryptic_cynic

cryptic_cynic

Degenerate
Jul 8, 2019
129
Of course I'd rather die. Life is bad enough as it is without being locked in a cage.
 
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WilliamKline

WilliamKline

Flâneur
Sep 16, 2019
135
Will the replies of other members here influence your decision? Might sound a bit soft but I think you know what your own true answer is to your question, you might just be looking for affirmation.
 
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ChristopherWalken

ChristopherWalken

Member
Aug 15, 2019
99
Will the replies of other members here influence your decision? Might sound a bit soft but I think you know what your own true answer is to your question, you might just be looking for affirmation.
I thought I knew the answer but as I said I'm starting to have doubts. I was hoping for some insight, other aspects to think about, and possibly comments from anybody with a similar situation or knowledge of one. The biggest gray area for me is not having any idea of what life is like on the inside, especially when doing many years. I know most won't have the answer to that but it's a huge decision and I need to talk about it.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
@ChristopherWalken my dear, given the nature of the forum, I think you know what people here would choose, since it's what we're choosing without even bringing jail into it.

You want some other option, don't you. What about appealing the sentence? Has that been completely ruled out?
 
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okaoki

okaoki

last
Aug 4, 2018
251
I'm younger than you , i'm sorry i can't give any advice , but i do feel you . i'm in a situation i need to choose
from two options , im still not sure about it , but feeling too numb about it.
sorry for my english.
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
It would all depend what Jail life would be like. If I was isolated and left alone I'd be fine but knowing me I'd end up being someone's wife. If I couldn't see my dogs for years I'd end it, they are the reason i am still here.
 
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ChristopherWalken

ChristopherWalken

Member
Aug 15, 2019
99
@ChristopherWalken my dear, given the nature of the forum, I think you know what people here would choose, since it's what we're choosing without even bringing jail into it.

You want some other option, don't you. What about appealing the sentence? Has that been completely ruled out?
It's in the very early stages I haven't even entered a plea yet. But my lawyers are telling me it's pretty hopeless and I'm headed for jail. Appeal might come later, but they said there's little chance of success on that either. In short, I'm f@*ked.
 
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Nunyabinniss

Nunyabinniss

Member
Mar 23, 2019
77
I'm barely 30 years old and I would definitely rather die than spend what maybe the rest of my life in prison that's just my opinion I do not think that's a good life I barely think life on the outside is worth living so ha ha Ha ahhhhhh no id rather die.
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
I'm falling heavily on the side of killing myself would be preferable to prison but I'm having some doubts. My experience with jail (never been in my life until these past couple months), has been horrible. I'm pretty healthy and don't have any mental issues, but I'm 48 and I've been told the possibilities of getting out early are pretty slim.
So you have no illnesses or mental health problems but you see suicide as a way out of a long jail sentence?
It would determine why you was in there. I'd welcome any rapist or peado to kill them selves but then them living the rest of their life knowing what they did is the best torture.
 
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ChristopherWalken

ChristopherWalken

Member
Aug 15, 2019
99
I'm younger than you , i'm sorry i can't give any advice , but i do feel you . i'm in a situation i need to choose
from two options , im still not sure about it , but feeling too numb about it.
sorry for my english.
What are your 2 options? If you don't mind me asking?
 
Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
So you have no illnesses or mental health problems but you see suicide as a way out of a long jail sentence?
It would determine why you was in there. I'd welcome any rapist or peado to kill them selves but then them living the rest of their life knowing what they did is the best torture.
Im not saying you did anything like that so apologies if you do. Me and my big mouth.
 
ChristopherWalken

ChristopherWalken

Member
Aug 15, 2019
99
So you have no illnesses or mental health problems but you see suicide as a way out of a long jail sentence?
It would determine why you was in there. I'd welcome any rapist or peado to kill them selves but then them living the rest of their life knowing what they did is the best torture.
Yes actually it's truly that bad in there. At least for me it is. I need stuff to do, purpose, freedom, and that's not even mentioning the bad conditions and getting beaten by other prisoners. When I say I have no mental illness I mean I don't have a torturous mental illness that makes normal life unbearable. I do have depression and struggled with suicidal tendency but I had it beat.
 
Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
It's a tricky one. I either lie or have your death on my conscience
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
Yes actually it's truly that bad in there. At least for me it is. I need stuff to do, purpose, freedom, and that's not even mentioning the bad conditions and getting beaten by other prisoners. When I say I have no mental illness I mean I don't have a torturous mental illness that makes normal life unbearable. I do have depression and struggled with suicidal tendency but I had it beat.
That's exactly how I would feel. Hopefully my mental health condition would keep me in isolation but I haven't a clue. You need your lawyer to know this before you are sentenced. It might keep you out if there is a risk you'll committ suicide.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
This is something I don't think people on here can truly comment on, considering the majority of the users here are here for CTB reasons. So for many the answer would be clear and easy.
Can I ask what you did to put you in this situation, I can imagine this is not an easy choice for you, but only you can decide your path at the end of the day.

Personally the only way I would end up in prison is if I was happy with life but homeless, to me, prison always seemed better then living on the streets but I could just be naive.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
That's exactly how I would feel. Hopefully my mental health condition would keep me in isolation but I haven't a clue. You need your lawyer to know this before you are sentenced. It might keep you out if there is a risk you'll committ suicide.
Is your mental health condition of a sexual nature?
 
Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
It's in the very early stages I haven't even entered a plea yet. But my lawyers are telling me it's pretty hopeless and I'm headed for jail. Appeal might come later, but they said there's little chance of success on that either. In short, I'm f@*ked.

I'm sorry that's the situation. And do I understand right that you're going to be taken into custody soon, and won't be able to get out on bail - that's why you need to make your decision very soon?
What would happen if, as @Rachel74 suggests, your lawyer told the court that you're a suicide risk if you're put in custody? Would that gain you any time?
 
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Blackjack

Blackjack

I’ll be watching...
Aug 6, 2019
777
30 years in prison? For what? Some murderers don't even get that much time. No way would I sign up for that. Get out (peaceful exit) while you can.
 
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Hennessy

Hennessy

Specialist
Jan 14, 2019
360
It depends on your country's prison system. Which country do you live in?

And also if you get your own cell or if you have to share it with other prisoners?

I have never been a prisoner myself, but I guess the worst part about serving a prison sentence is that you have to spend time with other prisoners.

Living confined in a small cell somehow seems peacefull to me (if I don't have to share it).
 
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A

a_strange_day

Arcanist
Jul 16, 2019
461
yes without any hesitation, even if I have to do my time in Norway

1438962978000
 
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gingerplum

gingerplum

Enlightened
Nov 5, 2018
1,450
I could tolerate a year or two. I'm sure it would be excruciating, and I have no doubt it would feel interminable. But I'm your age, and life gets shorter very fast, so no. No way, especially for a decade or more. I can't see how anyone could possibly blame you for choosing an end on your own terms vs probably dying in prison as an old man.

The quality of my life is marginal as it is, so for me (as likely the rest of the forum here) it's hardly a difficult choice.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
Of course I'd rather die. Life is bad enough as it is without being locked in a cage.
Exactly.
For me my cage is my ugly face and body so I'm out of here.
Definitely wouldn't want to be stuck in jail on top of it. Most people want to stay out of the psych ward, which many compare to prison. Imagine being in an actual prison for decades.
That's definitely a "yes, I would rather die" from me OP.

What was the crime?
 
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P

ProlongedSentence

Member
Mar 14, 2019
77
I'm falling heavily on the side of killing myself would be preferable to prison but I'm having some doubts. My experience with jail (never been in my life until these past couple months), has been horrible. I'm pretty healthy and don't have any mental issues, but I'm 48 and I've been told the possibilities of getting out early are pretty slim.
30 + Years? Did you say what the charges are?
And 47?
Is that your personal pic for your Avatar?
You look 27 if so.
Sorry.
I shoulda added.
I wanna die now.
I am nearing half a century and my whole "life" has been a torturous existence. I am here in desperation now.
 
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H

H2H2

Specialist
May 31, 2019
320
The only thing I can think of is death row inmates : they are usually relieved when they have their sentences conmuted to life in prison. Maybe its because they are already in prison. There are a couple of documentaries on Youtube about death row and life in prison that you may want to watch. People having made a single very bad decision one point in their lives and having ( and how ) to deal with the consequences of having to spend the rest of ther lives in prison is a very common theme of those documentaries. I dont know if thats your case but maybe you can find something in them that you can relate to ?

I wouldnt give too much weight to our opinions tbh. Most of us are not a good measure of an average well functioning human being imo. If you are not completely sure and you dont mind hanging as your method of choice, maybe you could consider staying alive until you know for a fact what to expect and if you are resilient enough. If it doesnt work out for you or you cant handle it, there is always the option of hanging yourself in prison. I wouldnt because there is no way in life I would bet in my current situation against hanging and being found too early but just in case you havent considered that option as another possible one.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
I reckon another question is what I'd do when I was freed at age 77 or whatever. Kill myself, probably.
 
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k75

k75

L'appel du Vide
Jun 27, 2019
2,546
I'm pretty sure I'd kill myself. I'm terrified of jail and prison. I've never ever been arrested for anything, but I've always been scared of it. And especially at this point in my life (I'm about to turn 41), looking at a sentence like that, no way.
 
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JimFord99

JimFord99

Enlightened
Aug 18, 2019
1,047
Kill myself, too. Not because of prison, it is because or hell which comes after prison.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I'll make sure I go out in a fucking hail of gunfire.
 
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