Help Would you guys tell anyone you're suicidal and you plan to CTB?

[kilowatt]

I don't know if I want to tell my friends I'm planning to do it soon. I generally try to not care about others feelings when it comes to my very own inner peace, even if that's selfish, but I still think goodbyes would make me too emotional and hold me back. At the same time I don't want to go with no warning, no unusually kind subtle gestures or anything that could lead to my death being misunderstood as not-intentional. I currently haven't told anyone, yet I'm so tempted to warn my best friend I won't be around for much longer. I don't know what to do. I don't really want to distance myself from others especially in my last months.

 

[Innereye]

Too dangerous. I wish people could be accepting, but it's not the world we live in.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I believe that's a terrible idea if one wishes to ctb, such a thing is very risky as it could very likely mean that other people just selfishly and cruelly interfere with plans to die. It's sounds so horrible to me suffering even more in a psych ward.

 

[kilowatt]

No, I believe that's a terrible idea if one wishes to ctb, such a thing is very risky as it could very likely mean that other people just selfishly and cruelly interfere with plans to die. It's sounds so horrible to me suffering even more in a psych ward.

I agree, thank you for your imput. Do you think leaving letters for certain people would be a better idea? I still want to have a last word towards certain individuals, but it'd feel safer if they heard it only after I am already gone.

 

[tired0zymandias]

Well man, don't tell people. I tell my friend and ended up my mom trying to stopping me, she came to my room and really mad about that.

I love her so much. But the world is too much for me to stay. So if you really want ctb peacefully. Don't tell anyone. Keep it to yourself

 

[SmoolPepe]

I dont know your friends or you, but Im 100% confident that telling anyone at all about your CTB plans is a big mistake.
People will betray you and report you to whatever local authorities are there, thinking youll be grateful later on. But a betrayal it is, nonetheless.
And/or they`ll ostracize you and slowly cut you off from the group.

I would not do it, ever. Nothing good would come out of it. Im sorry this is the world we live in, I know it sucks majorly.

 

[FuneralCry]

I agree, thank you for your imput. Do you think leaving letters for certain people would be a better idea? I still want to have a last word towards certain individuals, but it'd feel safer if they heard it only after I am already gone.

Yes, I certainly think it's much better, many people do that as a way of saying farewell or so that those left behind have some sort of explanation.

 

[nozomu]

I only would tell people if I was beyond certain they would not try to ward me. A few of my friends know I want to CTB, just not when I plan on doing it.

 

[roseleaf]

i don't tell people, but sometimes i slip and i just say "oh that was a long time ago" i wouldn't recommend actually telling someone

 

[kvheeo]

idk, a part of me if I was about to ctb and 100% ready to do it would like to let my loved ones know, so they could prepare themselves, but another part of me would be scared of them reporting and trying to stop me. its a tricking decision, do what you think is the best for you.

 

[voyager]

Well, I did, my mom. She kept pestering me for years on my plans in life and I kept evading her. Ultimately, I told her, because she thought I was going to abandon her, obviously, more for her sake than mine. Just wanted her to be prepared and have no unanswered questions. That literally started years of trouble and pretty much poisoned our good relationship. She never threatened me with the authorities, because it's not her style and I'd never forgive her anyway, but plenty of guilt tripping and lack of understanding for sure. Finally, I gave up last year and decided to press ahead at the given time.

Oddly, we kinda (!) sorted it out after our cat was put down this June, but would I do it again? Tbh, I'm leaning towards no, because it did cause a lot of pain, anxiety and hassle for her and frustration in me. I'm not even fully certain I accomplished anything more than a goodbye letter would have done. Should have maybe just lied to her, but have never been too comfortable with that.

It's a can of worms.

 

[tieiwi]

I haven't told anyone. I brought it up during an argument with my dad. As an attempt to show him that I wasn't being dramatic and that his, and others in my family's, actions were actually hurting me. His response was for me to focus on school and that I'd be sent to a psych ward. In my situation nothing good ever comes out of telling people.

 

[kilowatt]

I haven't told anyone. I brought it up during an argument with my dad. As an attempt to show him that I wasn't being dramatic and that his, and others in my family's, actions were actually hurting me. His response was for me to focus on school and that I'd be sent to a psych ward. In my situation nothing good ever comes out of telling people.

Sorry you had to get such response, some people are heartless. Thank you for your input tho.

 

[SmollMushroom]

I don't think you should unless you are doing it for attention, because people will try to stop you one way or another, and if that happens, what comes after could put you in a even worse situation of your current one, depending on where you live. That's my personal advice, anywyas.
But if you REALLY wanna share, be very very careful who you share your plans with.

 

[kilowatt]

Well, I did, my mom. She kept pestering me for years on my plans in life and I kept evading her. Ultimately, I told her, because she thought I was going to abandon her, obviously, more for her sake than mine. Just wanted her to be prepared and have no unanswered questions. That literally started years of trouble and pretty much poisoned our good relationship. She never threatened me with the authorities, because it's not her style and I'd never forgive her anyway, but plenty of guilt tripping and lack of understanding for sure. Finally, I gave up last year and decided to press ahead at the given time.

Oddly, we kinda (!) sorted it out after our cat was put down this June, but would I do it again? Tbh, I'm leaning towards no, because it did cause a lot of pain, anxiety and hassle for her and frustration in me. I'm not even fully certain I accomplished anything more than a goodbye letter would have done. Should have maybe just lied to her, but have never been too comfortable with that.

It's a can of worms.

I wouldn't have planned to tell my close family, maybe just my girlfriend and a friend or two, but looking better into it I think it just leaves unnecessary complications. I doubt I'll tell anyone.
Thank you everyone for the answers!

 

[SVEN]

Absolutely not … only this Forum.

 

[haibane]

I wouldn't, mostly cause unfortunately there is high chance that they would try to stop u. Suicide is already too hard to increase the chances of failing by involving other people.
If u want them to know why u did it i would recommend u to make a suicide note

 

[voyager]

I wouldn't have planned to tell my close family, maybe just my girlfriend and a friend or two, but looking better into it I think it just leaves unnecessary complications. I doubt I'll tell anyone.
Thank you everyone for the answers!

Yeah, honestly, it just doesn't work. There was also a lot of bad conscience too, since I'm all she's got and we've always been really tight, so I thought could get through to her. But most realtionships are far more superficial than that and when the word "suicide" drops people will just let the shutters down, no matter how valid one's arguments are.

It's amusing, that with so many replies you haven't had one positive response and then people are astonished why we didn't come to them. You're on the right path, imho, and death will clear our conscience.

 

[darknesscomesquick]

I think it depends on what you are hoping to accomplish. If you are serious about CTB'ing, telling someone will likely ensure some sort of "safety" coming your way in the way of a welfare check or a grippy sock holiday courtesy of your local psych ward.

If you are sad, depressed, overwhelmed and your SI is still super high, telling someone may get you someone who could listen and help you overcome the feelings.

Honestly, grippy sock holidays aren't always helpful, at least they never were for me. What has helped is recognizing life with complex trauma and severe depression is actually sort of like a terminal illness. It's not gonna kill me
Today, but maybe someday. I don't talk about that view with anyone really…I can't trust my mental health providers and I don't have many friends to share this view with either…that's why places like
Here are helpful because people here (mostly) get it and understand what it's like to have these issues.

 

[jussaloser]

ive a really big urge to tell somebody rn but its cause im drunk

 

[Ashe]

very very very few people know that I'm suicidal but no I wouldn't tell anyone I was going to CTB because that would just lead to them trying to intervene and prolong my suffering.

 

[kilowatt]

Already have, multiple times. Nothing happened. I actually tell/warn everyone who wants to be my conversation partner.

My problem is that I'm going to do it really soon, not just as a future plan, I have most details sorted out and I'm just waiting for my friends birthday to pass and get her a gift so I can leave peacefully. I was unsure if it'd be a good idea to tell my closest friends

I think it depends on what you are hoping to accomplish. If you are serious about CTB'ing, telling someone will likely ensure some sort of "safety" coming your way in the way of a welfare check or a grippy sock holiday courtesy of your local psych ward.

If you are sad, depressed, overwhelmed and your SI is still super high, telling someone may get you someone who could listen and help you overcome the feelings.

Honestly, grippy sock holidays aren't always helpful, at least they never were for me. What has helped is recognizing life with complex trauma and severe depression is actually sort of like a terminal illness. It's not gonna kill me
Today, but maybe someday. I don't talk about that view with anyone really…I can't trust my mental health providers and I don't have many friends to share this view with either…that's why places like
Here are helpful because people here (mostly) get it and understand what it's like to have these issues.

I'm leaning a lot more towards the first variant. I never really told people what was on my mind, even if I was just a little down or I went all the way to CTB plans. My first thoughts were my girlfriend that lives really close to me and my long distance friend, that can't quite do much about it even if I do tell them. I'm not sure how either would react, they both know I have a past with self harm and severe depression but I never told them before when I acted on it on planned to. I've had 1 failed attempt but that wasn't serious, more of an impulse, but I didn't know either of my girlfriend or friend at the time so I decided to leave it in the past. I guess I just wanted to reassure them that if I ever stop replying and picking up calls it means it's already too late, but looking through here that seems like a very bad idea. I should probably just leave a few notes and messages right before I actually commit.

I think it depends on what you are hoping to accomplish. If you are serious about CTB'ing, telling someone will likely ensure some sort of "safety" coming your way in the way of a welfare check or a grippy sock holiday courtesy of your local psych ward.

If you are sad, depressed, overwhelmed and your SI is still super high, telling someone may get you someone who could listen and help you overcome the feelings.

Honestly, grippy sock holidays aren't always helpful, at least they never were for me. What has helped is recognizing life with complex trauma and severe depression is actually sort of like a terminal illness. It's not gonna kill me
Today, but maybe someday. I don't talk about that view with anyone really…I can't trust my mental health providers and I don't have many friends to share this view with either…that's why places like
Here are helpful because people here (mostly) get it and understand what it's like to have these issues.

I'm leaning a lot more towards the first variant. I never really told people what was on my mind, even if I was just a little down or I went all the way to CTB plans. My first thoughts were my girlfriend that lives really close to me and my long distance friend, that can't quite do much about it even if I do tell them. I'm not sure how either would react, they both know I have a past with self harm and severe depression but I never told them before when I acted on it on planned to. I've had 1 failed attempt but that wasn't serious, more of an impulse, but I didn't know either of my girlfriend or friend at the time so I decided to leave it in the past. I guess I just wanted to reassure them that if I ever stop replying and picking up calls it means it's already too late, but looking through here that seems like a very bad idea. I should probably just leave a few notes and messages right before I actually commit.

 

[outrider567]

No, I will not tell anyone, its nobody's business but my own

 

[sserafim]

No because I have no one to tell and no reason to tell them

No, I will not tell anyone, its nobody's business but my own

Literally. Like honestly why would you even tell anyone

 

[brokeandbroken]

No they may call the police and that's about it. People won't do anything else.... If they do it means a lengthy stay in a psychward where they won't care about you or do anything to try to help you. You'll be treated like a common criminal lose your dignity etc.... They won't want to do their job and treat you like shit for needing something.... They'll probably try to commit you and jarvis you where you will be forced to take meds that won't help.... Bottom line you'll lose your freedom, dignity, they'll treat you like shit, and won't care about you. Psych wards have been seen as worse then prisons since their inception.... Not much has changed... You won't leave any better.

 

[skittle-chan]

recently i told my friend that i'm suicidal and you know i expected him to be at least surprised but in reality he ended up making jokes out of it. and i was like okay whatever nobody believes that i can be kinda sad. so after that even if i try to tell them or warn them i do this in a joking way. they hear me and i hope they will like remember my words u know

 

[Boudika]

People from my environment like friends or family? Hell no
I don't trust my family and my friends would probably arrive at my place a few minutes after they found out I was going to CTB, to "beat up my ass" (hj) and make sure I was safe.

On the other hand, I had already told an internet friend about it. Well, it didn't end well, because he told a woman close to me about it, and I had an unpleasant conversation in which she scolded me and made me promise that if anything happened I should write her how I felt (interesting fact - she is a recruiter in the army, so by writing her anything I risk ruining my chances for a career in the army).

So yes, it all depends on your situation. If anything, I would only tell relatives you trust and know enough to predict their reactions. Remember, however, that most will be pro-lifers.

 

[Mea Culpa]

I have. I was distancing myself from my friend and cut all communication from him completely. He was hurt really bad and didnt understand why I just stopped talking to him. The guilt ate me alive and after I tried the hotline, I figured he had the right to know why i just randomly up and left.

It was an almost 2 hour phone call starting at 1 30am. And everytime he would say "Dont go", "I dont want you to leave forever" it just damn near broke my heart and has made ctb allot harder because I now know its gonna hurt him allot. I'm happy he sidnt take me to the ward again since he knows that was a joke. But he came to talk to me the next day in the hopes to bring me comfort.

But I'm at the point where theres nothing that can be done to help me. And I'm going to end up hurting him. I dont want to but I dont want to hurt either. I have made plans again that he doesnt know about. He knows I've been really depressed and my mental health has been on a severe decline. Hes worried allot.

Hes the only person I truly trust to talk to about it, but I know if I want to succeed, I cant talk about it again.

 

[stscss]

I was struggling a lot with it so I told an ex bf (my first ever bf). I trusted him and he seemed like he cared and we are chatting regularly on insta. I hope this isn't cheating on my current partner, but I know he will freak out if I tell him. Probably won't be the support I need.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Absolutely not. Even if I ask for help I don't reveal the plan. It will be a secret until I use it. You can't trust ANYONE with it because it will be interfered.