Story Would you commit suicide in my situation?

[Oyashiro-sama]

The same thing happens to me for a long time, I like girls but my libido is on the floor, when I had a girlfriend years ago there were problems of that type, I feel like you, inferior to the rest.

Now to that feeling of feeling inferior sexually, in my case add social isolation, not being a normal person, not being able to interact with anyone, my fucking neurosis (ocd) etc ... I just want to die a fucking time.

 

[Ashpac]

Well... no. I just couldn't cope with the idea. Wouldn't make me feel better.

Im curious, why wouldnt it make you feel better if you can have sex again. Surely its better than not having sex ever again.

 

[imdone]

Im curious, why wouldnt it make you feel better if you can have sex again. Surely its better than not having sex ever again.

I don't know if I can explain. Anyway, apart from the erection itself, I lost almost all sensitivity. And I don't anymore feel anything happening to my "lower region" even if a girl stimulate me. Before all this began, for example, just a girl touching my leg and I felt aroused and had an erection.

Now it's like having a dead appendix useful only to urinate. So I don't see a point anymore in having penetration, let alone with an implant that would make me embarassed both while having sex and in every other moment of my life.

 

[creatureoflight]

I don't know if I can explain. Anyway, apart from the erection itself, I lost almost all sensitivity. And I don't anymore feel anything happening to my "lower region" even if a girl stimulate me. Before all this began, for example, just a girl touching my leg and I felt aroused and had an erection.

Now it's like having a dead appendix useful only to urinate. So I don't see a point anymore in having penetration, let alone with an implant that would make me embarassed both while having sex and in every other moment of my life.

Sex is way overrated and many people live good lives without it imo

 

[Ashpac]

I don't know if I can explain. Anyway, apart from the erection itself, I lost almost all sensitivity. And I don't anymore feel anything happening to my "lower region" even if a girl stimulate me. Before all this began, for example, just a girl touching my leg and I felt aroused and had an erection.

Now it's like having a dead appendix useful only to urinate. So I don't see a point anymore in having penetration, let alone with an implant that would make me embarassed both while having sex and in every other moment of my life.

After i got it done i was surprised by the reaction of women i talked too about it. One even said she wanted to be the first one i had sex with after the surgery. Then because of its 1 major perk i would tell other women about it and they wanted to try it. They were so sweet and understanding. The major perk is when you come it still stays hard. You can have an erection for 1,2,3 hours its upto you. I know you think its embarrassing now but its worth a go otherwise the depression might get alot worse and eat you away like it did with me.

Its one thing to be able to have sex and choosing not to have it but its totally different when you want sex but are unable to have it.

But its upto you, i hope you choose the right decision for you.

 

[Tiburcio]

Sex is way overrated and many people live good lives without it imo

I agree, but it also depends of the type of person. Some people like us can live oerfectly without it; others no, some people need companionship fir calming their sexual impulse.


Yes, it's overrated but unfortunately not all people can live without it.

 

[throwaway123]

I agree, but it also depends of the type of person. Some people like us can live oerfectly without it; others no, some people need companionship fir calming their sexual impulse.


Yes, it's overrated but unfortunately not all people can live without it.

I would add that love is overrated as well. It's like it doesn't even exist in this world. All I see is fake. Fake smiles, fake happiness,fake relationships etc....

 

[imdone]

After i got it done i was surprised by the reaction of women i talked too about it. One even said she wanted to be the first one i had sex with after the surgery. Then because of its 1 major perk i would tell other women about it and they wanted to try it. They were so sweet and understanding. The major perk is when you come it still stays hard. You can have an erection for 1,2,3 hours its upto you. I know you think its embarrassing now but its worth a go otherwise the depression might get alot worse and eat you away like it did with me.

Its one thing to be able to have sex and choosing not to have it but its totally different when you want sex but are unable to have it.

But its upto you, i hope you choose the right decision for you.

Thank you for your insights. But honestly where I live, I think everyone that should know of my surgery would only think of me as a freak, a loser, let alone girls they would run away horrified. If you aren't truly at top, healthy, reasonably wealthy, good looking etc. and have minimal imperfections they look at you disgusted.
Not really an open-minded country, still even problems with racism and just everything different.

Apart from this (not secondary) topic, I just know I would not accept it psychologically. I just know. I think I would even feel worse.

I don't care for the long lasting erection, I just had enough of having sex once at a time with the person I loved. Only this.

So my choice actually is: go on by myself alone for my whole life without possibly ever experiencing love again, or catch the bus. These I feel are my only true options.

(in case of first option also consider the fact I let myself go, I quit job, I don't exercise anymore - which was one thing fundamental to my psych well being - so things would be getting more and more difficult in the way)

 

[imdone]

I agree, but it also depends of the type of person. Some people like us can live oerfectly without it; others no, some people need companionship fir calming their sexual impulse.

I think it's not always like this. Maybe it is, actually, from a biological standpoint. But I always saw it the other way around. For me sex was the natural consequence of loving someone. It's the most profound way to share our life with a companion. I know it sounds idealstic, but I assure there are both men and women out there that share this view. And I say this while always having been a pessimistic person. It's just out of my experience. Of course everyone has different experiences and not everything is black or white.

 

[Rollo]

Thank you for your insights. But honestly where I live, I think everyone that should know of my surgery would only think of me as a freak, a loser, let alone girls they would run away horrified. If you aren't truly at top, healthy, reasonably wealthy, good looking etc. and have minimal imperfections they look at you disgusted.
Not really an open-minded country, still even problems with racism and just everything different.

Where are you living if you don't mind me asking? Personally I don't see why anyone would think that somebody is a loser if they fixed their impotence by implant. Sure they may think less of you vs a naturally potent guy, but by no means vs an impotent guy. But even they did - surely being able to satisfy your sexual desire, be with a woman and dodge a bullet worth it. Don't want to force anything on you but that's just how I feel.

 

[imdone]

Where are you living if you don't mind me asking? Personally I don't see why anyone would think that somebody is a loser if they fixed their impotence by implant. Sure they may think less of you vs a naturally potent guy, but by no means vs an impotent guy. But even they did - surely being able to satisfy your sexual desire, be with a woman and dodge a bullet worth it. Don't want to force anything on you but that's just how I feel.

Italy. People have very regressive views of social interactions here. For example also gay people of both sex are still stigmatized and made fun of all the time. It's already a great struggle to cope with women exaggerated standards here let alone to bring up the notion of a penis implant. I would be nothing but a monstrosity to their eyes. I can assure you this, and I say it sadly. Maybe this view of things translated to me living here, but I'm honest to say I would have enormous difficulty to accept the thing myself.

 

[Tiburcio]

I'm going to be totally honest: there is no escape. If you can't cope with this problems, then say good bye.

 

[imdone]

I'm going to be totally honest: there is no escape. If you can't cope with this problems, then say good bye.

Thank you.

 

[Tiburcio]

Thank you.

I would like it was different.

I don't say toxic shit like "things will get better for you" because this don't happen and even less with such permanent problem.

The only alternative for living is changing the mind and accepting and coping with it but is not easy and not always possible. You could try it anyway.

Also you saud you wanr kids. Why not adopting?


But nah it doesn't seem worthy... enduring pain is nor good.

 

[Rollo]

Italy. People have very regressive views of social interactions here. For example also gay people of both sex are still stigmatized and made fun of all the time. It's already a great struggle to cope with women exaggerated standards here let alone to bring up the notion of a penis implant. I would be nothing but a monstrosity to their eyes. I can assure you this, and I say it sadly. Maybe this view of things translated to me living here, but I'm honest to say I would have enormous difficulty to accept the thing myself.

Fuck their standards though. One saying I like and which reflects my personal way of dealing with women 'if she left she ain't yours, yours will not leave'. So if I talk to a woman and be all me without even a slightest attempt to impress her aside from being clean and I see that for whatever reason she's not all that into me, let alone disgusted - case closed, next episode. Now it's a woman's right in my eyes to filter guys based on whatever. I know I for one will filter them based on looks and the energy they project. So from the energy point if a woman is the type which likes to get mad or disgusted - it's not my type. There are plenty of calm women out there and to me that's the only type I go after.

A woman should like you regardless of your wealth too. Cause who needs gold-diggers? The fine line though is that a woman may not be a gold digger yet she will still filter out guys based on wealth. Simply because if your an adult man and your pockets are empty - that's a sign of weakness. But if you talk to her and she likes you - she will disregard it anyway.

So same for penile implant. I don't think it will be too hard to find a woman who accepts it.

 

[imdone]

I would like it was different.

I don't say toxic shit like "things will get better for you" because this don't happen and even less with such permanent problem.

The only alternative for living is changing the mind and accepting and coping with it but is not easy and not always possible. You could try it anyway.

Also you saud you wanr kids. Why not adopting?


But nah it doesn't seem worthy... enduring pain is nor good.

I appreciate your honesty.

 

[imdone]

Fuck their standards though. One saying I like and which reflects my personal way of dealing with women 'if she left she ain't yours, yours will not leave'. So if I talk to a woman and be all me without even a slightest attempt to impress her aside from being clean and I see that for whatever reason she's not all that into me, let alone disgusted - case closed, next episode. Now it's a woman's right in my eyes to filter guys based on whatever. I know I for one will filter them based on looks and the energy they project. So from the energy point if a woman is the type which likes to get mad or disgusted - it's not my type. There are plenty of calm women out there and to me that's the only type I go after.

A woman should like you regardless of your wealth too. Cause who needs gold-diggers? The fine line though is that a woman may not be a gold digger yet she will still filter out guys based on wealth. Simply because if your an adult man and your pockets are empty - that's a sign of weakness. But if you talk to her and she likes you - she will disregard it anyway.

I agree with you on an idealistic way of thinking. I always acted like you say. But that was easy when I had the right cards.

Now it's all different, starting from me. In practical life, you haven't infinite time and possibilities to find the right person. You have a limited pool of options and some of those won't necessarily cope with my problems. And I don't feel like condemning them for this.

It just happened I had known this girl some months ago. I liked her a lot and she liked me a lot. Beautiful and smart girl indeed. I think we both instantly fell in love each other. Maybe first time this type of thing happened in my life, despite me already been depressed (but I could act as if I wasn't). Well, long story short I finally did steer away from her against myself and with great struggle because I couldn't tell her of my problem. That is the point from which I let myself go completely. I fully realized how much my life is screwed. Everything I cared for, everything I fought for, every hope is just gone.

Sort of a bad nightmare for me :(

 

[Ashpac]

You will continue to push women away as long as you have this problem.
After pushing most of the people away in your life soon you will be left alone in a room with just your thoughts.
They aint gonna be happy ones i guarantee you that. I know this because ive been through it.
I know how your mind and mood will deteriorate as time goes on.
Its heart breaking falling for a woman and not being able to perform.
The more this happens the more it eats you away. Eventually suicide will be the only thing on your mind, 24/7.
You can openly talk about it with people and tell people of your problem but in todays society, it will only come back to haunt you.
You can meet asexual women. Plenty women out there do not want sex and just want love.
Like someone said its either accept it or CTB since an implant is a no go for you.
I know how you feel though, if youre a person who wants sex in the future, it really sucks.

 

[Rollo]

I agree with you on an idealistic way of thinking. I always acted like you say. But that was easy when I had the right cards.

Now it's all different, starting from me. In practical life, you haven't infinite time and possibilities to find the right person. You have a limited pool of options and some of those won't necessarily cope with my problems. And I don't feel like condemning them for this.

It just happened I had known this girl some months ago. I liked her a lot and she liked me a lot. Beautiful and smart girl indeed. I think we both instantly fell in love each other. Maybe first time this type of thing happened in my life, despite me already been depressed (but I could act as if I wasn't). Well, long story short I finally did steer away from her against myself and with great struggle because I couldn't tell her of my problem. That is the point from which I let myself go completely. I fully realized how much my life is screwed. Everything I cared for, everything I fought for, every hope is just gone.

Sort of a bad nightmare for me :(

Well if you're impotent - then yeah it's a hard truth that no woman unless she's asexual will probably consider you. But with implant it's a whole different story. Honestly I'm not a penile implant salesman and I never even heard of them before Ashpac mentioned it. But now having looked at them it seems like a cure so if I was in your shoes and knew it's not going to improve naturally - it would be a no-brainer.

 

[Rollo]

After i got it done i was surprised by the reaction of women i talked too about it. One even said she wanted to be the first one i had sex with after the surgery. Then because of its 1 major perk i would tell other women about it and they wanted to try it. They were so sweet and understanding. The major perk is when you come it still stays hard. You can have an erection for 1,2,3 hours its upto you. I know you think its embarrassing now but its worth a go otherwise the depression might get alot worse and eat you away like it did with me.

Its one thing to be able to have sex and choosing not to have it but its totally different when you want sex but are unable to have it.

But its upto you, i hope you choose the right decision for you.

So overall do you have the same sexual experience as when you had a natural erection? Or are there any drawbacks like unpleasant sensations etc?

 

[QueenEtna]

I can sort of relate to you even though I'm a girl. I'm a lesbian and I want to have biological children with my girlfriend with no male help. It isn't possible right now and it sucks, I really wish I was a guy sometimes. Love and having a family is really important to me which is funny because if you asked me 1-2 years ago I would of said no way.

 

[Mari]

Male. Young age (in my 20s). Tall and good looking. Athletic. Smart and liked by girls. Never got health or mental problems until this point. A "normal" life.

One (damn) day lifting weights just happens that I injury myself at my lower back. I got a little back pain (quickly vanished) and ...erectile dysfunction. That didn't vanish.

Yes. I'm being completely impotent for two years out of nothing. I visited countless doctors, I made any imaginable exam. I spent thousands euros. Nothing. Pharmaceuticals do absolutely nothing. Like the nerves got burned.

It's more than one year now that I'm 100% suicidal. Not that I ever thought of sex itself being the most important thing in my life, but I think love is; I wanted to get a family and now I'm condemned in solitude for the rest of my miserable life. I wanted a normal family, I'm not interested in asexual people or other things. Just a normal family like millions on the earth.

Top of all I just can't cope with the idea of my body not working properly. I have no other thought than my disease. I feel a subhuman in respect to everyone. I can't have any sort of social interaction anymore. I quit my job (I still live with parents), I quit keeping in touch with friends, I quit going out of home. I barely find the strenght to eat now and then.

I just want to kill myself.

Any thought is appreciated.

I you feel this path could be for you, maybe have a look at ayahuasca. So many, countless people tell the story of their spine being realined by the medicine. But please. If you do, do proper in depth research and find a proper shaman/ayahuascuero practitioner with excellent reputation. I really do believe this physical situation can be healed as well as those feelings of detatchment/derealisation. But again. Do intense research before you act on it. Think of it like a surgeon - you'd only trust a serious professional have your life in their hands.

You're young and blessed in so many ways as you initially describe. Certainly you can grow and learn from this and come out stronger -

Just my two cents. So no, I wouldn't go in this situation. But no one can judge the pain you go through, so I respect whatever decision you make. - Just wanted to share that there are possibilities out there than can in fact help you on so many levels.

Best wishes!

 

[Ashpac]

So overall do you have the same sexual experience as when you had a natural erection? Or are there any drawbacks like unpleasant sensations etc?

Erm, nah its different because the 2 tubes are in your penis so you lose the sensation, for example oral sex is very much different now. The feeling of orgasm is still the same. The advantage of it, is that it stays hard after you come. You can have an erection when ever you want and however long you want.

Disadvantages. When I first got it done, I couldnt walk properly for a while. There is a chance of infection, (this might happen within the first 8 weeks) if that happens, the device has to be taken out and you are left with a soft penis until you die basically.

If there is no infection you wait until around 4 weeks to use it (but id say wait 6, somebody used it too soon and had to have it taken out) then away you go with your new ''robo cock''

 

[Rollo]

I you feel this path could be for you, maybe have a look at ayahuasca.

Well with aya he should be ready to trip his balls out in any case ) Never really tried it, once only bought Caapi but didn't have DMT-carrier and in the end never cooked anything.

 

[Mari]

Well with aya he should be ready to trip his balls out in any case ) Never really tried it, once only bought Caapi but didn't have DMT-carrier and in the end never cooked anything.

Yup.

But if your'e stood there between a crazy trip that could heal you and a trip from which you certainly will not return, it might be an option.

 

[Ashpac]

I wanted to go to the clinic that gives you the chemical you are talking about. I even spoke with them on facebook and watched videos about them on youtube. It looks awesome, price is abit steep though if you dont have it. It might be worth trying since one user said above. I wanted to take this to face all my demons and hopefully come out a happier man. I hope something works for you :)

 

[Mari]

Never really tried it, once only bought Caapi but didn't have DMT-carrier and in the end never cooked anything.

Oh, and that might be a good thing. I've been reading and researching the topic for some months now and from what I've learned it looks like solo travelling for non-pro shamans is a very bad idea.

 

[Rollo]

There is a chance of infection, (this might happen within the first 8 weeks) if that happens, the device has to be taken out and you are left with a soft penis until you die basically.

Why can't they re-insert it though after infection clears up?

 

[Rollo]

Oh, and that might be a good thing. I've been reading and researching the topic for some months now and from what I've learned it looks like solo travelling for non-pro shamans is a very bad idea.

Well I did solo trips on shrooms and ketamine. And no offence but being atheist I'm a bit skeptical when it comes to shamans. Anyway what happened to these guys who tried it without shaman?

 

[Ashpac]

I cant remember the full reason what he said so I dont want to give a misleading answer, however I do have check ups every few months and im actually there on the 5th September. Ill ask him again because youve got me curious now that I cant remember why exactly.