Discussion Would it be stupid to try and find my biological mother?

[obei]

So I am 19 yo, and I was put up for adoption at birth. I dont know much about my bio parents. But recently I started getting curious about who my bio parwnts are, what do they look like etc.
I technically can go and find papers and find their number, and my parents will help me.
But there are two problems:
1. This is a big one… I am afraid of my parents feeling bad about it, and them not feeling good enough. Especially my mother, she can be quite hard involving these topics.
2. I talked to my thwrapist about this, and she told me it wont help me mentally, it may even worsen it maybe, but if I am curious that I can do it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think there won't an answer what is best and the outcome is unknown. You will have to make a decision. Unfortunately we all don't know our future and we always only know afterwards whether our decisions have been good or bad. I'm sorry you have to go through this but I would say if that is sth that is deep in your heart to find your biological parents then you should consider it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I've never heard of things like this ending positively, but it is something that a lot of adoptive children do. I'm not adopted though, so I've never been in that position.

 

[Kit1]

Obei, that is such a difficult position to be in. I agree with Praestat_Mori - only you can make that decision.

At this point, no ine can tell you what the ending will look like. But can you cope with a life of yearning and not knowing? But also what happens if you discover something that turns out to haunt you fornthe rest.of your life? Do you have a good support network in place to support you through that journey of discovery? If you decide to find out, you might want to strengthen your support network first.

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do and take care.

 

[RosesFlourish]

So I am 19 yo, and I was put up for adoption at birth. I dont know much about my bio parents. But recently I started getting curious about who my bio parwnts are, what do they look like etc.
I technically can go and find papers and find their number, and my parents will help me.
But there are two problems:
1. This is a big one… I am afraid of my parents feeling bad about it, and them not feeling good enough. Especially my mother, she can be quite hard involving these topics.
2. I talked to my therapist about this, and she told me it wont help me mentally, it may even worsen it maybe, but if I am curious that I can do it.

It could give you closure. I hope things go well with what you decide to do.