Discussion Would having a partner /bf or gf help the pain ?

[Killstofferson]

If it's an option for you, might as well try it. It's not for everyone.

 

[letsmakeitagoodworl]

I have honestly wondered this so much lately. I have never been very interested in relationships, I never felt I was missing out by being always alone. But then I met someone I thought I could possibly love in the most impossible setting, & I knew they would never like me in that way. So as stupid as it sounds its made me feel worse. I don't believe love can fix depression etc but I've known some people it's helped. The impossibility of the possibility only made me feel more like I'm supposed to kill myself lol

 

[rainysummer]

helps significantly but i dont love the fact that if i die my gf probably goes with me

 

[greatjustice]

I fear relationships because I feel like, as some have said, it would be just a band-aid. That, and/or I would sabotage the relationship anyways, so why waste my time? Being out of college doesn't help, as now my options are limited and I'm too introverted at this point.

There is a part of me that thinks everything would be fine if I had a relationship...just to have some sort of love in my life, but also I think that is selfish of me to ask at this point.

 

[hopeless302]

in my experience, no. They eventually got tired of my misery and left, which made the depression even more unbearable. Of course, I understand their reasons and I can't blame anyone for not wanting to put up with me.

 

[Summer Child]

Depends on you too. I feel like, if you have a lot of trauma, defense mechanisms and such, that can really make a relationship go sour very fast. Things that might already be contributing to your wish to unexist. A lot of people don't know or don't care how to deal with stuff like that.

And yeah, band-aid. It can make it more pleasant, but might even make you feel worse if you feel it's not really helping as much as you wanted it to.

 

[RUPA]

I've always felt I was not eligible for relationship due to my constant and chronic lethargy and depression. too much emotional, psychological baggage for my partner, it seems quite unfair

 

[lifeORdeath]

I don't believe love or a relationship can truly "fix" anything as I would probably cause the other person to become sad just like me .

True. No one else can fix you. We have to fix ourselves and it expect it to be someone's elses job. Heck they might have their own baggage and make it worse too.

 

[slushy]

Sometimes, to humor myself mostly, I pretend it could. But deep inside I know people are just people. They can be nice, but everyone is flawed and imperfect, and no one can work magic to fix me or my life. People, even good people, are generally fixated on themselves and will put their wants over your needs--always. I'm no exception. Besides, it'll just be another person hurt by my death.

To be completely honest, though, I wish I could get laid by a nice girl at least once before I died lol

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

I have a relationship. Its a little toxic at times so idk if that impacts things but for me it does not help much as I live alone in another country. I think if we could be together it would make a difference. He is someone that always tries to cheer me up and makes me laugh so having him here in person would really help. Unfortunately just like everything in my life I cant afford to be happy. Yay poverty.

also having a partner when you are like this makes you feel super guilty that you are hurting them by wanting to die.

 

[ConstantPain]

This definitely depends on the people involved. I've been unhappily married for 15 years and feel I would be better off alone. I don't think a relationship or lack of one can magically lift serious depression either way but know that for myself at least, I miss living alone. The older I get the more I just want to be by myself. Instead I feel stuck in an unhealthy marriage and it's worsening my depression. I'm glad there are other people who gain some pleasure from human touch but I can't relate. I especially hate sex and can't wait for it to be over.

 

[squidhead]

I dont know, I cant know until Ive tried it and thats never happening.
People that have or have had relationships all say its no big deal, love yourself, they wont fix you and the whole mantra. Or they complain how being in a relationship can still make you feel lonely or more miserable or whatever. And it might be true, I just cant see how though and I wont understand it until I try it myself.
Just as those same people cannot understand how its like being lonely and on your own and being unable to get any relationship whatsoever despite trying your best.

Personally, at this point I doubt it would help at all... im just too far gone, broken, dysfunctional whatever else. But I do wonder at times, what would have happened if i did get a relationship in high school or college. Having that someone that wants to be around you, to cheer you up or share things with or be vulnerable with or be affectionate, kinda makes a big difference in terms of developing as a human being and not just a mindless drone working for no reason other than surviving and paying bills.

 

[Anon1337]

I think so but it could be a case of "the grass always being greener on the other side".

 

[Darkover]

greatly with the right person

 

[theboy]

yes

 

[makethepainstop]

For some of us,(I'm one of em), having a boyfriend or girlfriend can make a difference. When you have someone to talk to,hug....it can be heavenly!

 

[achromatic]

To a degree I think yes

 

[outatime_85]

I grew up without a supportive person or people and no support structure.

So, the ability to experience what it would be like to have someone who loves you and wants the best for you as a supportive partner is an interesting concept and possibly a partial puzzle piece to one's happiness.

That said, this is something I will never experience since I am unable to form the necessary bonds that allow for such things.

To paraphrase Biggie, it's all a dream (at least for me).

 

[SexyIncél]

Depends on the person, depends on the other person, and depends on the relationship.

Yeah I agree. It could go well if you:

• were largely ok & had good social skills, but need someone to care about & be passionate about
• found someone similarly suicidal who'd die together with you

 

[fiasco]

Yeah, I think it will ease the pain if you need comfort and companionship

 

[idontknow42]

No person can comfort me or do anything to help me. I've been close to multiple people and all they did was worry, and the only help they could offer was the generic, "it will get better" (I'm not blaming them, there's totally nothing they can do. But it just doesn't help). I don't have situational depression, so I'm pretty fucked

Now? I talk to nobody at all and don't say anything. I have nothing much to say anyways, I just hate life. That's all I have to say. I don't have long left before I kill myself

 

[Jupit3rs]

im trying meeting new people and see if it works... So far i dont think dating can fix my situation. Can it make you feel good a little? Maybe, but the pain, the existential suffering... I'm stuck with it, its my curse.

 

[Message In A Bottle]

It would make things more bearable I imagine. We all need that special person that we can connect with on a deeper level.

I'd just be afraid I would be more of a liability than a partner - and I wouldn't want to do that to the person I love.

 

[Jimblue]

I was not looking for someone to share my pain or fix me. I was actually looking for someone who I can live. Unfortunately he made me more damaged and depressed than I was.