I'm in the UK, too, and while I'm not prepared to step over the moral line of helping someone else take their own life, it doesn't seem to me that all are impossible or even difficult. Otherwise the UK would be that rare country which didn't have a suicide rate at all. I'm genuinely sorry you're having such a difficult time but I mean it, take a breath, calm down, take your time and go slowly. Rushing this will lead to hasty decisions and that rarely ends well. I wish you peace, whatever you decide.