migimortis

migimortis

Love It Or Waste It.
Jan 15, 2024
149
I got about 1 person that would care. For everyone else I would be an entertaining topic to talk about for a week. Then they would forget. I genuinely don't think anyone would care even if I died by suicide. It doesn't matter how much I fail in life, I never fail to be insignificant, even in death. I never really had any friends I talk to myself most of the time. No one cares about me. No one would be at my funeral.

Would anyone care if you died? Even if you died by suicide?
 
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sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
I don't think so, no one cares about me.
 
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SomewhatLoved

SomewhatLoved

Bringing out the Dead and Searching for the Living
Apr 12, 2023
145
Yeah, I have a partner and I think my family would care. Really the main reason I haven't done it yet is because of them and I know it would make them sad.

But I just feel like me being around makes them sad as well and I burden them. My partner in particular would probably be happier if we never met. We love each other and we try our best but I know I cause problems for him and it would've been better for him if we never met because I'm irrational and controlling and sick. I love him and I don't want to leave him, but I know being with him just makes it worse. I've always thought if I could go back and stop us from getting together I would because I think it would've stopped him from going through a lot of things.
 
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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Specialist
Jan 11, 2024
326
a few family members, one friend who lives on the opposite side of the family -but that's it. I sometimes think about deleting my social media completely to see if anyone would contact me to stay in touch.

I had a 'friend' once when I mentioned it was my birthday he said he didn't know even though it was on my facebook and he was friends. meanwhile every year I send him a message.

Nobody will notice and it's probably best that way. they don't care about me in life, why would they care about my death? I'm already invisible and dead
 
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GroundControl

GroundControl

Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Feb 3, 2024
42
Yes - that being said, most of them would call me selfish. That's what they say when they talk about other suicides. I'm actually thinking about backhandedly mentioning in my note how they will think I'm selfish. Lol.
 
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migimortis

migimortis

Love It Or Waste It.
Jan 15, 2024
149
Yes - that being said, most of them would call me selfish. That's what they say when they talk about other suicides. I'm actually thinking about backhandedly mentioning in my note how they will think I'm selfish. Lol.
I loathe this mentality. The irony is enraging. They have no idea how selfish it is to expect people to keep living when all they want to do is die. They are the exact thing they accuse suicidal people of being.
 
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GroundControl

GroundControl

Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Feb 3, 2024
42
I loathe this mentality. The irony is enraging. They have no idea how selfish it is to expect people to keep living when all they want to do is die. They are the exact thing they accuse suicidal people of being.
Exactly. I remember hearing them call someone who jumped off our local bridge selfish - when they fully know my mental health problems. I was so mad. I am still mad. I want to rub it in their face, but I know its wrong.
 
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BlazingBob

BlazingBob

I'm still here b/c of my dogs
Oct 28, 2021
602
A few friends would probably be upset but they know my predicament and how badly I'm suffering and hopefully would ultimately be relieved I'm finally at peace. My evil parents who resent my existence will probably be thrilled. I doubt there'd be any kind of funeral because I'm just not that close to anyone and I have no idea who'd plan it. I don't want one anyway. I just want to quietly go away and not exist. It's not like I play an important part in anyone's life anyway.
 
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Dliena

Dliena

𝚂𝚂 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚘. 43,53?
Dec 22, 2023
1,889
Oh yes, unfortunately in my case but I do try to be grateful for everything they've done for me. But it just wasn't meant to be.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,274
My parents and few online friends . It doesn't make me want to stay here though. I've felt like I want to go "Home" for a long time back to where ever that is
 
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Chr0nicAnhedonic

Chr0nicAnhedonic

So much for stardust...
Oct 1, 2023
73
When I asked a former friend of mine if they'd care if I died, they told me that they'd be sad for a little bit but would get over it pretty quickly. I assume that'll be true for the others in my life.

People don't want me as I am, they want the idea of me. Nothing more.
 
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kkrnb.inai

kkrnb.inai

meowmeowmeoeowmw
Feb 12, 2024
20
my parents, my siblings, but that's it. i like that i don't have anyone in my life besides my family. there's no outside forces holding me back.
 
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G

Gonnerr

Enlightened
Mar 12, 2023
1,322
Yes a lot of people, im always patient and kind to people , my friends will miss me and my family too.

But i will have to do it in a near future , gotta kill that brain , the organ from hell.
 
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Tzu

Tzu

Member
Feb 5, 2024
19
Yeah, I don't really have any doubts that my death would seriously impact my family, friends to a lesser degree.

Kind of a vicious cycle to think about for me, I feel awful so i engage in ideation/planning and then when i consider its impact i feel even shittier for the inevitable effect on others. Luckily i don't have anyone who relies on me as a primary support, i'm sure it will suck but nobodies life will collapse and they won't be alone.
 
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SadLad

SadLad

Member
Feb 9, 2024
56
I'm sure my parents will miss me. My child too.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,862
Yes - that being said, most of them would call me selfish. That's what they say when they talk about other suicides. I'm actually thinking about backhandedly mentioning in my note how they will think I'm selfish. Lol.

I've thought about this too... Like- before you think or call me selfish, bear in mind that I had ideation to varying intensities for 34 years. I literally hung around that long waiting for the people it would affect the most to die first.

But yes, I think there would be people that would be affected by my death. More so if it were suicide. That's why I'm still here.
 
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ctbcat

ctbcat

Yes, the everlasting contrast.
Jul 14, 2023
228
a lot of people will care, to varying degrees. but that's inevitable, i suppose. i'm surrounded by people. it doesn't do anything to stop me. death hurts - i can't soften that blow. people will care, will be sad, maybe even will pretend they knew me; pretend they didn't treat me like utter shit. it doesn't matter. my consciousness will be nothing but a memory, eventually.
 
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fishlover

fishlover

in the end, nothing matters
Sep 17, 2023
125
nope
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,202
My family will care but only because they're family
 
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Cepi

Cepi

It’s not a bad existence, just a bad life
May 12, 2023
70
My parents and few online friends . It doesn't make me want to stay here though. I've felt like I want to go "Home" for a long time back to where ever that is
FEEL, whenever I cry I always sub-consciously shout "I wanna go home, I wanna go home".
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,535
Unfortunately yes, there r people who care.
 
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Doemu

Doemu

⸸ I am my own end ⸸
Feb 4, 2024
214
No, no one care for me, and I don't want no one do it.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,155
People will care, but I'll do my best to make it clear exactly why they'd be stupid to do so. Nobody should care about someone like me who doesn't even care himself, others, or anything else worth caring about.
 
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P

pole

Global Mod
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
the only one that would feel anything about my death is also a person that relies on me and the only reason why I haven't left yet (my mom). I do believe deep down she does care about me too.

other than her, I don't have anyone that truly cares about me with no strings attached other than my two cats. yes they rely on me too, but I like to believe they love me in their own way. I mean, they always ask for pets and want to snuggle.

that's all, which is sad to think about.
 
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Shrike

Shrike

My pain isn't yours to harvest.
Feb 13, 2024
100
Society makes it a very big event unfortunately so there would be a lot of various ripples from that alone. It's my biggest stopper really. Ignoring the fundamental constraints of CTB, it's so hard to do it quietly. It's the sort of thing that should be your own damn business but it absolutely isn't. In life, I'm insignificant. In death, I'd affect so many damn people. It's so stupid.

It's a bit hard to separate that from the rest of "caring". I'm fairly distant from people, nobody (well aside from SaSu now lol) knows my inner state at this point. I don't think my inner state would be approved of. I'd expect CTB to invoke judgment and anger. An image of loss but ultimately everyone would be better off. As someone here said, an idea of me might be wanted, the real me bores people at best.

They wouldn't have to worry about me ever again.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,920
It doesn't matter as eventually no matter what I will no longer exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here, I will just be forgotten about like I never existed at all. Everyone has to die someday, death is completely normal, inevitable and inescapable. And if I was to die today whatever happens in this world will certainly not my problem as I will no longer be existing.
 
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Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Tokugawa_Yoshinobu

Arcanist
Sep 10, 2023
424
Some will
 
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R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
3,792
A lot will. Too bad it won't be about me but more about them and the stuff they will lose when am no longer there. Does it make sense?
 

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