Help Worried about another user

[Deleted member 19654]

I'm sorry it was inappropriate to post about this, I can agree with what you've said. I felt anxious about pushing someone over the edge, and so felt really lost on what to do. I appreciate all of the advice everyone has given me. I feel a lot calmer now, do you think it would be best to delete the thread? I will absolutely do so if it will cause less damage than if it were to remain up. Thanks for your response.

I don't think you need to delete the thread. Maybe it will remind others to be a bit more careful too. I'm glad you made this post because it helped you see that he was manipulating you.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

He was a great guy who was super witty and funny. I miss him

Yeah, I wish I had a chance to get to know him better, but he was under my radar until that day.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm sorry it was inappropriate to post about this,

It was not inappropriate to post about this. You did the right thing since he threatened to move up his date therefore manipulating you in a horrible way.

 

[Deleted member 23009]

I don't think you need to delete the thread. Maybe it will remind others to be a bit more careful too. I'm glad you made this post because it helped you see that he was manipulating you.

It's a good reminder I think too. It's not always easy to know the correct way to deal with something when not having experienced it before. It might not be the best way to handle things like this with a big thread but imo i think it's better to try and reach out in whatever way you can to not fall into a trap.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm really glad this subject came up in case others are being used and manipulated this way. It's a public service announcement.

 

[_Kaira_]

Also beware of any messaging that leads to online video chats. That's where predators want it to go. Be aware they will be recording you.

So much this. Like what @TheEndisNear121200 said. No child deserves to have their vulnerabilities taken advantage of, that goes the same with adults. It's ok to have problems, it's ok to find ways to cope and deal with the issues you're facing. But as soon as you start feeding off of other people to satisfy your needs, any empathy from me is immediately revoked.

I wish someone could have told me back then that I was not actually loved, but a victim.

EDIT: Also It's one thing to not know where the line is drawn when it comes to interacting with others...but atleast when it comes to minors, one should probably be able to tell that it's not in their best interests to pursue any kind of romantic relationship....

 

[Weary Soul]

I don't think it's a good idea or any manner of respectful to post about the contents of private messages to the public forum, even though I've given my opinion before on outrageous messages people have gotten and talked about. (They have to be pretty abusive to warrant a plea to the rest of the site imo).
That said, I personally also frown upon this site being used for the goal of some type of romantic relationship..and tbh this seems to be the mindset of a disproportionate amount of people here..it's like "either I ctb or get me a gf/bf". Or they combine both notions on the partners thread, which I stay away from for good reason. That is the risk in getting too close with some people here, I'm personally not worried about it, but other people should be. There are predators, scammers, and just plain lonely, desperate people looking for something other than friendship. A lot of the time, at a very fast pace..if you are oblivious then it can take you by surprise. And if you're not interested, it won't be pleasant.
But in that case, I would just be straight with the person messaging you and then move on. Ignore them if need be. They could have malicious intent or they could just be the typical isolated, socially starved person who gets overly attached to anyone who shows them attention. It's a common phenomenon.
No need to be cruel but no need to be shy about shutting it down either. It's not really something that requires making a thread about, even if they get out of hand, just report them. Everyone here already has a reason to ctb, let none of us flatter ourselves in thinking we would suddenly be the sole reason for someone here offing themselves. I don't think a private, respectful rejection would push them over the edge but telling everyone else about it, even without naming names...well that can put a person into a panic. I think it's a bad idea to be completely frank with you.
You can easily clear things up with this person in private, and like I said, bring it to a mod's attention if the person shows relentless fervor in pursuing or blaming you.

Respectfully, I agree and disagree with some of what you said here.

If someone is new to this kind of behavior, I think it is ok to ask a wider audience their thoughts (or maybe in future ask one of the mods what they take of this kind of interaction).

At the same time, I think both people should be treated with respect unless it is well known that one person is clearly a predator - like you said, there could be many different reasons why a person would write this - predatory, starved for acceptance/affection, inability to know how to interact with others.. etc.

Time will tell - it always does.

One thing for sure though (IMO), if a person decides to end their own life - it is their choice, no one else is to blame.

Just my 0.02 - and absolutely no offense intended.

Love to all of you :)
<3

 

[Deleted member 23009]

I'm really glad this subject came up in case others are being used and manipulated this way. It's a public service announcement.

This. If no one ever spoke out about things or made anything like this public so many more people would become victims to manipulation. Awareness like this I think makes people be a little more careful.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Lol pretty hard to forget the Tigress Lost and airboy drama. She messaged as her "friend" and pretended to be dead, so I convinced her into writing her own goodbye thread

I vaguely remember that, but until mahakali88 brought it up, I had completely forgotten. Same with cough syrup and aspirin guy. Maybe my memory is going...

 

[Aap]

I don't think anyone has been treated disrespectfully. While it can be impossible to know intent with so little information, there are users who have (rightly) pointed out MAJOR red flags associated with behavior that fits a particular pattern (emotional manipulation of MULTIPLE people, escalating requests for contact (e.g. chat, pictures, video), targeting young/vulnerable people, etc.).

while I know it is unpleasant for some, but not everyone out there is nice/some are evil. There have been cases here where talk like this here has escalated to the point of police involvement with murder/kidnapping/forced imprisonment talk. When a pattern is being followed, it is wise to loudly raise red flags.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Lol her goodbye thread was locked too soon just as we were starting to have some fun.

Oh please tell me this still exist on here somewhere

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Oh please tell me this still exist on here somewhere

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/bye-for-good.48205/

 

[Gromit-CTB]

Hope the OP is ok, just joined today hoping this is a safe place.

 

[botanormal]

Hope the OP is ok, just joined today hoping this is a safe place.

I'm okay now. This forum is definitely a safe place, just have to be careful as some people don't always have the best intentions as I've come to learn. Thanks for the concerns, wishing you all the best.

 

[Astronomer]

Hope the OP is ok, just joined today hoping this is a safe place.

Safe

 

[Emily_Numb]

They did ask to see a picture of me after they sent me one, so he has seen me once. Do you think I shouldn't have done that? Feeling like I might've made a bad decision after reading all of these comments. Thank you for responding though!

Have you ever actually used the internet? I'm struggling to believe you are 18 with this level of naivety. Why would anyone be all up in someone's DMs on this site after using the forum for 3 days. Use the forum for the forum and if you want to make friends, join a club.

 

[botanormal]

Have you ever actually used the internet? I'm struggling to believe you are 18 with this level of naivety. Why would anyone be all up in someone's DMs on this site after using the forum for 3 days. Use the forum for the forum and if you want to make friends, join a club.

Man... that's a little harsh, but I get it. I thought he was being nice, and because he shared with me personal feelings and reasons for him wanting to ctb, I felt like I could trust him. I'm not used to talking with others much, so when I read his messages I thought he was being genuine. I know it was a mistake now, and I'm making sure it won't happen again.

 

[Meditation guide]

Have you ever actually used the internet? I'm struggling to believe you are 18 with this level of naivety. Why would anyone be all up in someone's DMs on this site after using the forum for 3 days. Use the forum for the forum and if you want to make friends, join a club.

That's quite a tongue lashing you gave her! I do admire how you don't mince words or beat around the bush. You are absolutely correct.

 

[Deleted member 23009]

Have you ever actually used the internet? I'm struggling to believe you are 18 with this level of naivety. Why would anyone be all up in someone's DMs on this site after using the forum for 3 days. Use the forum for the forum and if you want to make friends, join a club.

You have a point but we all have a different amount of experience when it comes to online, despite of age. So might be easy to judge if you're more experienced. I've made people I call my friends here too, and it kind of comes naturally as you engage in more discussions with people here.