I think I complain about my job every day, and then I come here like once a week to complain about it some more, haha. I hate it. It's a major contribution to my ideation.
There are some days where every second I spend at work, I would rather be spending them dead. I don't like to work in general, but I think if there was something I liked, something I was good at, something I was passionate about, I would probably enjoy it more. I haven't found anything like that yet, and unfortunately, I doubt that I ever will. It also sucks worse for me because I am the only person working in my household, so it definitely feels like I'm working for free. As soon as my paycheck comes, it vanishes.
However, I am grateful to work even if I don't like it. Not everyone can keep themselves afloat and I cannot take that for granted; being able to afford some food and shelter is nice, even if those are often the only things I can afford.
Nobody here is "lazy" for not wanting to work, including you, OP. A normal 9-5 job is not designed with us in mind, it can quite literally be impossible due to our chronic mental and physical illnesses no matter how benign they can seem on the outside. As my mental state deteriorates, I'm becoming less and less of a productive employee and I think in some time it may become impossible for me to work, too. My boss is already try to soft-fire me because I come late sometimes (it's not important that I show up on time but he is one of those CEOs that's out of touch with how his company actually works and wants me to "earn every penny" lol) and because I have been taking the paid sick days I finally became entitled on the days when I actually felt sick or was going insane. They don't care about us and never have, the system is set up against us but we're not lazy.
