Venting Words of encouragement/support are a lie

[PizzleYanked]

I've noticed that when I express my CTB desires in depression forums, I always get very similar answers. "Keep fighting", "Things will get better", "One day at a time", "Find God and pray", "Think of your pets", and I find them all a lie. I don't want to keep fighting, I'm tired of fighting my mind. Things will not get better, society is awful, I have no passion for anything, I will never function in society, I don't understand why people stay alive for so long. I don't want to live one day at a time, I want to never suffer again. I'm a Christian, but God isn't helping me with this. My pets are already taken care of by my family. This is all bullshit.

 

[pepperfarmer]

I remember consistently being the 'listener' to so many people on the verge or just in a horrible situation when I was a teenager. I found that in so many cases, there was no encouragement I could give that was honest.

Nobody wants to be guy that just lets someone die. It's hard to admit to someone that such a thing makes sense, even if you see what they see. It's an insidious feature of how suicide and psychologically induced death is handled at large; there is a performance of rejection and disdain towards suicide, but only the most skeletal social effort is spared towards preventing it. It's fine if you live a miserable, painful life, or if you're locked away perpetually in a ward 'for your own safety', so long as you continue to draw breath, so that your death doesn't disturb or unsettle anyone, or raise any uncomfortable questions.

 

[Forveleth]

I was told 25 years ago "it gets better". It did not get better and I regret not killing myself then.

 

[Off_Switch]

That's why I don't even talk it about it anymore. I just cut everyone off. Nobody will even remotely understand until we're dead.

 

[PersonBeforeLife]

I've noticed that when I express my CTB desires in depression forums, I always get very similar answers. "Keep fighting", "Things will get better", "One day at a time", "Find God and pray", "Think of your pets", and I find them all a lie. I don't want to keep fighting, I'm tired of fighting my mind. Things will not get better, society is awful, I have no passion for anything, I will never function in society, I don't understand why people stay alive for so long. I don't want to live one day at a time, I want to never suffer again. I'm a Christian, but God isn't helping me with this. My pets are already taken care of by my family. This is all bullshit.

Ask them to help you plan a way forward like a life coach... Nothing gets the point across just like that.

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

I remember consistently being the 'listener' to so many people on the verge or just in a horrible situation when I was a teenager. I found that in so many cases, there was no encouragement I could give that was honest.

Nobody wants to be guy that just lets someone die. It's hard to admit to someone that such a thing makes sense, even if you see what they see. It's an insidious feature of how suicide and psychologically induced death is handled at large; there is a performance of rejection and disdain towards suicide, but only the most skeletal social effort is spared towards preventing it. It's fine if you live a miserable, painful life, or if you're locked away perpetually in a ward 'for your own safety', so long as you continue to draw breath, so that your death doesn't disturb or unsettle anyone, or raise any uncomfortable questions.

This seems like the uncomfortable truth in the rare cases the listener even gets to the conclusion it makes sense, which seems in a majority of cases doesn't even happen in the first place because it's rare someone can empathise deeply enough. The exception to the rule seems to be people who are extremely empathetic or have gone or are going through similar experiences themselves.
Additionally people might be scared, rightfully or not, of potential legal troubles when acknowledging to someone that suicide might even be a workable alternative, or more bluntly, the best or correct solution, for someone else's situation or misery.

Ask them to help you plan a way forward like a life coach... Nothing gets the point across just like that.

That's gonna get you a bunch of ideas that are probably realistic for a healthy person or one that isn't in that deep of sorrow, but it usually won't produce any actionable results for a person who is caught too deep in the web of depression already.
I see this with myself. A lot of the things I used to do when I was still in a better place than now in order to keep fighting and make things better just became totally impossible to do for me at this point. I simply lack the physical and mental strength to still try to do them. It just doesn't work anymore beyond a certain point.

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

I kind of get what you're saying. People aren't intentionally lying to you, but what they're saying isn't helpful or validating. I hope SaSu is a better experience for you.

 

[Carrot]

From a Christian point of view, shouldn't eternal happiness in Heaven be enough of a motivation? No matter how bad your life on Earth is, 100 years of life here is nothing compared to eternity in Heaven.

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

I kind of get what you're saying. People aren't intentionally lying to you, but what they're saying isn't helpful or validating. I hope SaSu is a better experience for you.

I think that is probably true in the vast majority of cases.

From a Christian point of view, shouldn't eternal happiness in Heaven be enough of a motivation? No matter how bad your life on Earth is, 100 years of life here is nothing compared to eternity in Heaven.

It's great if someone's religious beliefs help them in enduring what they have to suffer, but for vast majority of people who aren't religious or at least not in that particular way these days (myself included) this sadly isn't any help whatsoever.

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

They only brought that up bc OP said they're Christian. So, they're trying to relate to them, not the non religious folks.

I think that is probably true in the vast majority of cases.


It's great if someone's religious beliefs help them in enduring what they have to suffer, but for vast majority of people who aren't religious or at least not in that particular way these days (myself included) this sadly isn't any help whatsoever.

~

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

They only brought that up bc OP said they're Christian. So, they're trying to relate to them, not the non religious folks.

~

Oh, my bad, I didn't realise that when typing my response. Fair point under those circumstances then.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

I agree this so much!! I told a guy about my suicidal mind but he just said 'love yourself, have more fun in life.....' I feel awful telling him about my situation it's just worse cause he is a depressed person he said still told me those. I don't share stuff with people they won't understand...I wish i had actually someone but im afraid too.

 

[booplesnoot34]

Things "getting better" is unrealistic for many of us. The best we can hope for (if we continue to live) is for things to suck marginally less, and to be able to cope better with the horrific realities of life. And I guess for a good afterlife if we successfully suffer through this existence and die not by our own hands.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

It is a very dark place to be when God doesn't show up. I've kept going for the past handful of years under the assumption that things would get better. They legit keep getting worse. Over the past decade, I have tried harder and harder to get my life together and be a better person, and it's pretty much been one long decent into hell.

I am still reserving the right to kill myself. Also, my pets will be fine. They really will. I have two young cats, it is just an issue of rehoming them before I go through with it. They will not be mourning me. They will be fine. It's just a matter of, once you rehome them, you can't go back.

I feel so sick and tired and tired of fighting to live.

 

[PersonBeforeLife]

I lost my Christian faith (I'm now agnostic) which was responsible for me becoming involved in a cult which destroyed my life and I've never been able to rebuild which is why I'm here.

 

[Pluto]

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

That's why I don't even talk it about it anymore. I just cut everyone off. Nobody will even remotely understand until we're dead.

Same with me. That's why I am a loner. Even when I die people will get over it fairly quickly because I got rid of them years ago.