Most likely throwing a way nearly a year of not cutting myself tonight. I feel incredibly sad but I feel like I need something to take the edge off and keep me going. I know this is just my brain lying to me. I know it won't be just one time. But god I want to feel that adrenaline again, that pure mind-numbing hyperfixation as I do my work. It was and will always be addicting.
I'm praying I don't fall into helpless addiction with it again and that it helps with the SI like it used to, but it probably will suck me in again.
World's biggest idiot award goes to me
I'm praying I don't fall into helpless addiction with it again and that it helps with the SI like it used to, but it probably will suck me in again.
World's biggest idiot award goes to me
