There are a couple of people who won't be surprised, but the vast majority of the people in my life will say this canned out of nowhere.
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Seraph_Miku
Angels are real
- Jun 20, 2021
- 22
Yes, it will be.
I give my friends obvious hints all the time because I am internally screaming for help but they are completely oblivious. I described to one friend what SN does to your body in great detail and I even got antimetics trough him (he has a doctor in his family) but he was just "eh, whatever I don't care".
To another friend I wrote a list of what I exactly need (SN, antimetics, antacids) - he asked me what's that about. I told him to look it up but he also didn't care.
To a third one, I straight up told my plan and he laughed because he thought I was just joking.
These are people whom I have known for years and I interact with on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis. I often talk about death and afterlife but for them it just seems like a philosophical quirk of mine. They never ask if I feel bad or if I'm serious. I think they simply don't care even if they knew for sure. My family doesn't know about this except for my sister who might have some suspicions.
I think if I really do it, everybody who knows me will be surprised. Most people will feel guilt because they will understand the hints that I gave them when I was alive. Now, this may sound horrible, but I would be happy if they feel guilty afterwards (except for my sister). I want them to carry this burden around for the rest of their lives because they didn't give a shit about me when I needed it. Probably this makes me also a bad person in the end...
I give my friends obvious hints all the time because I am internally screaming for help but they are completely oblivious. I described to one friend what SN does to your body in great detail and I even got antimetics trough him (he has a doctor in his family) but he was just "eh, whatever I don't care".
To another friend I wrote a list of what I exactly need (SN, antimetics, antacids) - he asked me what's that about. I told him to look it up but he also didn't care.
To a third one, I straight up told my plan and he laughed because he thought I was just joking.
These are people whom I have known for years and I interact with on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis. I often talk about death and afterlife but for them it just seems like a philosophical quirk of mine. They never ask if I feel bad or if I'm serious. I think they simply don't care even if they knew for sure. My family doesn't know about this except for my sister who might have some suspicions.
I think if I really do it, everybody who knows me will be surprised. Most people will feel guilt because they will understand the hints that I gave them when I was alive. Now, this may sound horrible, but I would be happy if they feel guilty afterwards (except for my sister). I want them to carry this burden around for the rest of their lives because they didn't give a shit about me when I needed it. Probably this makes me also a bad person in the end...
FailureGirl
lost in limbo...
- Jul 5, 2021
- 133
I think it will be unexpected to an extent, not because they don't know about my depression and mental health problems but more because they either don't think my issues are real or they think im better now as I don't show them my true emotions they only see what bubbles to the surface.
They don't realise that I never got better I just got better at hiding it, they think iv been doing well and planing my life but iv actually been planning to ctb without failing like last time.
They don't realise that I never got better I just got better at hiding it, they think iv been doing well and planing my life but iv actually been planning to ctb without failing like last time.
enjoy
Creature
- Dec 20, 2019
- 337
for most: yes.
for a select few: no.
most family will be surprised. immediate family will be half-surprised. close friends, exes, and others who knew me on a very deep level will not. i'm sure they will all grieve though, and go through the shock phase of grief. but once that wears off and they start to think hard about what signs i exhibited when i was still alive, they'll be able to connect the dots.
for a select few: no.
most family will be surprised. immediate family will be half-surprised. close friends, exes, and others who knew me on a very deep level will not. i'm sure they will all grieve though, and go through the shock phase of grief. but once that wears off and they start to think hard about what signs i exhibited when i was still alive, they'll be able to connect the dots.
Vault of Memories
A temporary being in a temporary world
- Mar 24, 2020
- 255
I have past attempts, but it has been a few years. To those close to me I'm sure it'll be a shock, but obviously won't amount to how unexpected they were when the news broke of the first attempt (no one knew I suffered from depression at that point).
xkonstantinexx
Member
- Jun 11, 2021
- 78
My family and my ex know that I've attempted before. That's the reason why my sisters have pushed me to go for therapy. My ex, on the other hand, thinks it's just because I'm looking for sympathy and attention. I'm faking recovery now with the hopes that my family will let their guards down and I'll finally be able to have some time to myself to CTB. These days, it seems as if I've got an invisible ankle tracker 
I'm guessing it'll come as a shock to both my family and my ex once I do it.
I'm guessing it'll come as a shock to both my family and my ex once I do it.I think for a lot of people it'll be a notion sort of like "Well, that makes sense. He finally did it." I say this because over the past however many years I've made remarks and voiced ideations to people about how I've wanted to end my life. So while after some time they probably thought I was just "calling out for help," once I finally do it, they'll know that I've found my peace.
Dear Agony
The Void
- Jan 24, 2020
- 296
Unpopular opinion, but every suicide is unexpected. Everyone will be shocked no matter how many signs you give, simply because they didn't know you were going to die. People are always in denial about something like suicide. I mean unless you outright tell them "I'm going to kill myself tomorrow" they can't know lmao.
My first suicide attempt was not unexpected by my family/small social circle, but was by my co-workers. When I'm successful the next time (fingers crossed), it definitely won't be unexpected by the spectrum
hʚll
not real.
- Jun 18, 2021
- 467
no, i tell them that i'm suffering everyday. for them it's weird when i say it, because they say that i have a roof over my head, i have food so i shouldn't be needing anything else. it's hard to make them understand that my problem is with existence itself. i don't blame them for not understanding. and i guess is valid from their point of view to think that i'm ungrateful. but when i ctb, they won't be surprised, they will feel hurt though. i'm sorry to hurt them, i never wanted to be in this situation, i never wanted to hurt anyone.
motel rooms
Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
- Apr 13, 2021
- 7,081
Nobody irl knows anything relevant about me & I like it that way
insanedoomer
Zé"HaZarD
- Jan 10, 2021
- 244
it only reminds me how i was a big mouth and that i didn't hide it so well .
yeah it can be on an impulse , why not .
yeah it can be on an impulse , why not .
Most of my family know something is wrong with me but I don't think they know exactly how bad it is. It will probably be unexpected to them and they will be devastated. I'm like you I don't talk about my mental health not because I don't want them to know but because it wouldn't solve anything. You don't live with and autistic person your whole life and not pick up on it. If they wanted to know about it they could ask or do their own research but they would rather pretend I'm perfectly normal.
brokenwaves
i need to cross a border that’s hard to define
- Feb 19, 2021
- 118
both yes and no. my family are by now well aware of my mental issues, but they love to pretend they don't exist on a daily basis. i help them live happily in their fantasy of denial by not speaking about my emotions ever. so my death won't be a complete surprise, but i'm sure they will nonetheless say over and over how they had no idea & that they thought i was doing really well lately
Elysium Searcher
Longing for eternal sleep
- Jun 12, 2021
- 62
Yup, nobody is/was aware of my mental state, but that's good for me. Besides my parents I have nobody, so I might shock only my parents, that's all.
This. In most cases it's an unexpected thing. And it's very likely that my death will be unexpected too. But honestly I don't care about it.
This. In most cases it's an unexpected thing. And it's very likely that my death will be unexpected too. But honestly I don't care about it.
CoolGuy9
Mage
- Mar 5, 2019
- 524
To my parents, it will probably be a surprise at first, but then looking back, they'll see the signs that go all the way back to 2012. Meanwhile to some of my friends who I have talked about this, it won't be a surprise at all.
RealLostSoul
once rock bottom, always rock bottom
- Oct 11, 2019
- 212
No, I am the kind of guy who does this. People know I am depressed and tired of life for a long time now, and with my recent tragic losses, it will not be unexpected at all.
Celerity
shape without form, shade without colour
- Jan 24, 2021
- 2,764
RealLostSoul
once rock bottom, always rock bottom
- Oct 11, 2019
- 212
Celerity
shape without form, shade without colour
- Jan 24, 2021
- 2,764
I'm sorry for your loss. I guess you feel alone now. I don't know what I'd do without my family. They're all I have.
littlelungs
Wizard
- Oct 21, 2018
- 646
I've been struggling with something or other for as long as I can remember... so I feel like if my death is unexpected, then the people around me REALLY must have had their heads in the sand.
So, no, I think that everyone in my life will have seen it coming, at least to a certain extent, even if they obviously don't like it or wouldn't want to admit to it.
So, no, I think that everyone in my life will have seen it coming, at least to a certain extent, even if they obviously don't like it or wouldn't want to admit to it.
MiseryWithoutCompany
Doggo Good, Doggo Great
- Oct 1, 2020
- 63
I think maybe... mine won't be unexpected, but the timing might come as a surprise. Most people that know me also know I'm a ticking time bomb.
WOODESITY
Experienced
- Mar 15, 2019
- 217
When i kill myself i don't think it will be unexpected to those that are close to me, almost everyone in my family knows I'm suicidal
Walkingcorpse123
My only friend, the end
- Jul 9, 2021
- 44
I'm planning for tonight... I suspect it will surprise most people. I never understood those who seem to wish to be 'saved'. I want to simply go without any fuss.
I'm sad of course... but have lost all fight.
I'm sad of course... but have lost all fight.
TheDevilsAngel
LetMeFree
- Apr 22, 2019
- 833
Yes I'm hoping no one will know or find out I spend most of my time alone anyway so it wont look suspicious
SheJumped
Student
- May 14, 2019
- 143
My family and friends will be surprised, all but two people in this world. I've had a mask on since my early teens and now in my late 30's I wouldn't know how else to act besides suffering in silence.
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,621
FohPah
Student
- Dec 7, 2019
- 146
I'm sure the people who know me best can recognize that I've been losing interest in life for the last few years. Two of them have mentioned it and said they're worried about me. One of them straight up asked if I'm suicidal and I said no. They never asked again.
A sudden death is always a shock, but I think anyone who knows me well will come to come to find it obvious in hindsight that I had lost my will to live.
A sudden death is always a shock, but I think anyone who knows me well will come to come to find it obvious in hindsight that I had lost my will to live.
BitterlyAlive_
-
- Dec 8, 2020
- 2,394
At this point, I'm not sure. Mm… People (such as family) think I'm doing much better; I suppose I am in some ways. So my death may be a shock to them. But a lot of things are still the same. My desire to die hasn't changed and I'm not sure it ever will. Friends, those who really know me? I don't think they'll be surprised.
