will you choose a date or do it asap?

[nitritegirl]

tomorrow i will try (hopefully successfully) to buy morphine and all for my ctb. but i don't know if i actually will be able to ctb tomorrow. my SI always kick in or the ctb urge passes (even though i continue suffering). i've been thinking of maybe choosing a definite date and if life just keeps getting shittier i will just do it, or maybe choose some kind of special date, i don't know.

for you would you ctb asap as you get your method, would you wait a bit, or maybe choose a specific date?

 

[NihilDoll]

I have somewhat of a "soft date" set. And that is the point of my chronic illness showing signs of becoming worse to the point of rendering me fully disabled.
I swore to myself that i would then go out on my own terms and not let this cruel joke win.
But that may happen tomorrow, that may never happen... it's all a big dice roll.

 

[Rihan]

I kinda have a deadline. No fixed date, but anytime before the deadline is the goal. I will set a specific date as I keep planning.

 

[sinnrr-sistrr]

I have kind of a "if this (I have specific things in mind) happens I'm CTB" but no date. I leave myself the option of getting out, even if that means going back to a shitty life. I'd rather chicken out 1000 times and be miserable rather than CTB once when I wasn't sure (that's my anxiety).

 

[Sakaki Lalonde]

Not really, I might do it on someone in specifics bday if im feeling like a dickhead but rlly its js sometime in the next 2 years

 

[hurts2b]

Debating this myself. I plan to do it "whenever the money runs out" (6 or so months from now) but I'm wondering if setting an actual date would make it seem more real, and thus easier to accept and actually go through with.

 

[wtg]

I have chosen a specific date since 5 years ago. Biggest regret I made

 

[SMxj9]

I have chosen a specific date since 5 years ago. Biggest regret I made

Why?

 

[BrokenByTheSystem]

I'm currently just waiting, if things get insufferable I'll probably do it.

For now things are calm, but I already see things getting worse, if it's not my anxiety saying it.

 

[TooMuchHasHappened]

I've kind of got a date, I was thinking that maybe I'd do it on my birthday this year. I've not had a happy birthday for very long time, so to CTB on the last birthday I ever have would make my last one a happy one (hopefully). Also, I think it would be kind of cool for my gravestone (cremated) to show that I died on my birthday. Is that weird?

 

[nitritegirl]

Not really, I might do it on someone in specifics bday if im feeling like a dickhead but rlly its js sometime in the next 2 years

that gave me a good idea, i think ctbing on my dad's birthday would be good he's a fucking shit of human being lol. he is one of the reasons i will ctb.

I've kind of got a date, I was thinking that maybe I'd do it on my birthday this year. I've not had a happy birthday for very long time, so to CTB on the last birthday I ever have would make my last one a happy one (hopefully). Also, I think it would be kind of cool for my gravestone (cremated) to show that I died on my birthday. Is that weird?

not weird at all i also think that makes sense, i'd do the same, it's a meaningful date afterall

 

[Shadows From Hell]

I don't have an exact date set, but it'll be about mid June or so. I plan on doing some biking for about 2 weeks, followed by hiking into the forest to find my resting place, either by CO in tent, or hanging.

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

I got my SN the other day, and I'm trying my hardest to make it past May 4th for my dogs birthday. I also need to revise my note, and tidy up my home. After that I've decided I'll be free to go whenever feels right. I probably won't set a date, but rather decide the day prior and fast overnight, then follow through with my plan come morning.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

I didn't choose the date, mom did. But given my audit, I will guard that date with my life, for it means a great deal to me.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

I've chosen a date.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'd certainly choose to existing as soon as possible if I had the option to never suffer ever again as existing truly is torture and all I want is peace from the terrible mistake of existence that just never should had been imposed at all, to suffer in this existence is just always so dreadful and terrible.

I'll just always prefer the peace of non-existence no matter what, in this existence so torturous non-existence is just all I see as positive, for me ceasing to exist is the positive solution to find peace from the torture of existing, I'll just always see it as an abomination to exist, all that existence ever does is torture and harm existing beings with no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

 

[wtg]

Why?

I could have done it sooner when i still have the courage. Im a pussy now

 

[Thanatos.br]

I choose dates, SI kicks in, I postpone, i bought the SN 3 years ago and been in this cycle since then, maybe i should just accept i'll never have the courage to do it.