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dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
I want to CTB today.

I don't have access to SN or N and I can't travel for various reasons. I have been holding on for so long and I don't want to anymore. I'm tired.

I can't do it via intravenous injection but I've done some research and found that potassium overdose can lead to fatality. So 360g of potassium chloride tablets dissolved in water + liquid potassium chloride together with diazepam/mirtazapine. I'm thinking of taking alcohol as well.

1. Anti sickness medication
2. 40 minute break for anti sickness medication to work
3. Alcohol
4. Diazepam & mirtazapine (56mg & 420mg each) to sedate me
5. Potassium chloride

Will this work? I have low blood pressure and a mild epilepsy so I have topiramate that I can add into the mixture as well. I have arrhythmia already, so I think chances are pretty high. It's a 50-50 chance.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,381
Welcome to the forum. 360g KCl ... vomiting is very likely. This isn't a good method. It works much better IV but it's painful and you'd also need other drugs zu become unconscious. A 50/50 chance wouldn't be enough t take the risk to fail and ending up as a veggie.


 
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dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
I'm aware of vomiting, so I'm taking anti sickness medication beforehand. I think my frustration is I don't have access to any of the drugs mentioned in the book. I'm just so tired right now.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,381
I'm aware of vomiting, so I'm taking anti sickness medication beforehand. I think my frustration is I don't have access to any of the drugs mentioned in the book. I'm just so tired right now.
I really understand that you are frustrated bc of this but probably you'll be even more frustrated and devastated when the attempt fails and you suffer possible long term physical health issues bc of the failed attempt.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It sucks that it it's so difficult to get hands on good methods.
 
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dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
I really understand that you are frustrated bc of this but probably you'll be even more frustrated and devastated when the attempt fails and you suffer possible long term physical health issues bc of the failed attempt.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It sucks that it it's so difficult to get hands on good methods.
Thank you for your reply and understanding. I think I'm just going to try anyway. I don't care. There's no long term for me because I don't plan on being here after this month.
 
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dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
I tried liquid potassium a little bit - it tastes horrible but oh well. I'm just gonna go through with it.
 
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LunarLight

LunarLight

i'm a loser, a failure
Apr 3, 2024
1,363
Good luck and keep us updated.
 
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dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
So here's the update:

I took my diazepam and alcohol, got way too drunk and disoriented before even getting to the potassium. I'm gonna try again in a few hours. I just need to get over the taste of potassium, which is just disgusting.

I've read up on some cases of Japanese people committing with soy sauce due to high salt content in a short amount of time. So I'd say it's still 50-50. I'm just tired so willing to try anything pretty much.
 
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dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
Where you got the potassium from?
It's potassium chloride supplements. You can get it on Amazon. I just crushed it into powder and mixed it with yogurt. It tastes disgusting but I need to down it and probably drink vodka at the same time to dilute the flavours
It's potassium chloride supplements. You can get it on Amazon. I just crushed it into powder and mixed it with yogurt. It tastes disgusting but I need to down it and probably drink vodka at the same time to dilute the flavours
You can get it anywhere tbh.
 
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karmaisabitch

karmaisabitch

Mage
Mar 25, 2024
570
It's potassium chloride supplements. You can get it on Amazon. I just crushed it into powder and mixed it with yogurt. It tastes disgusting but I need to down it and probably drink vodka at the same time to dilute the flavours

You can get it anywhere tbh.
Do you think it works? Make sure you search it and I'm do the same. It might be my method too.. thank you for sharing I'm ordering some now
 
billie

billie

take me back to the night we met
Mar 31, 2024
623
I hope you find the peace you are looking for
 
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dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
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Aprilfarewell4

Elementalist
Apr 9, 2024
802
This doesn't seem very stable. This seems really not good.
 
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dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
This doesn't seem very stable. This seems really not good.
Yeah; I don't think this is reliable as a method either but I am tired and just want out asap because I have no access to any of the pills from PPH. I just need to get over the disgusting taste and hope for the best.

I've seen Japanese ladies exiting by drinking enormous amounts of soy sauce, which led to their end due to high salt content. So essentially I'm doing the same: I tried many methods over the past few months: potassium nitrate (I know it's not SN but I saw that if taken enough, it should be lethal, but didn't work), partial hanging (I don't even go unconscious), pill overdose with alcohol (nothing happened, I just slept the whole day).

I'm so tired.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,381
Yeah; I don't think this is reliable as a method either but I am tired and just want out asap because I have no access to any of the pills from PPH. I just need to get over the disgusting taste and hope for the best.

I've seen Japanese ladies exiting by drinking enormous amounts of soy sauce, which led to their end due to high salt content. So essentially I'm doing the same: I tried many methods over the past few months: potassium nitrate (I know it's not SN but I saw that if taken enough, it should be lethal, but didn't work), partial hanging (I don't even go unconscious), pill overdose with alcohol (nothing happened, I just slept the whole day).

I'm so tired.
May I ask y you bought "supplements" and not potassium chloride? The supplements probably don't consist of pure potassium chloride which means that you would have to swallow even more. Just thoughts here.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. There'd be other methods but it's up 2 u.
 
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A

Aprilfarewell4

Elementalist
Apr 9, 2024
802
May I ask y you bought "supplements" and not potassium chloride? The supplements probably don't consist of pure potassium chloride which means that you would have to swallow even more. Just thoughts here.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. There'd be other methods but it's up 2 u.
op says they had a lot of unsuccessful attempts already so this is likely another? it would be of service to know if it could work. i don;t see any updates yet. maybe they will say more later.
 
D

dearlulu

Member
Apr 10, 2024
42
So another update: I'm still here because of alcohol; as it kept knocking me out before I got to the supplements/mixtures. I'm just desperate at this point.

So my 360g of potassium tablet mixture is ruined so Im just going with 400ml liquid potassium then alcohol then my antidepressants. I used up my diazepam earlier but I have mirtazapine left to get me drowsy: Im going to go with partial as well. I need this to work. I can't do this anymore. I kept putting it off because I was lazy but I can't anymore.
 
Last edited:
fade_to_black_71

fade_to_black_71

Member
Oct 7, 2024
34
I hope you find the peace you are looking for
and have a painles CBT
 

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