Will suicide investigators show embarrassing deleted messages to family?

[happy?1270]

Bro thought bout it. I don't want my parents to see my deleted sexts
Like I mean ik you can hire a pi but don't police investigate will anyone reveal anything?

 

[Imissyoumydarling]

I know everyone here hates people who work in jobs to prevent suicide (esp psyche ward workers and such) but it's been my experience that the people who do that for a living do sincerely care because it's such depressing work with relatively low pay compared to other roles. Like child abuse workers... NO ONE wants that job except those who have been through horrible things themselves or had a loved one CTB so they want to help (even if we don't agree with their help and want to make our own choices).

So while I have no experience with people who actually do the investigating, and I have no idea what they're even allowed to do when it comes to privacy laws... I would expect anyone with that job is almost certainly going to feel an empathy for you and not want to embarrass you or your family, There wouldn't be any point in that.

I'd also hope that any third party worker (PI, tech person) who might be able to go through your phone and recover deleted messages would be on the payroll of your parents so they'd care more about giving your parents reassurance and therefore wouldn't give those kinds of messages. If they even manage to recover them.

I know this is all pure guesswork (sorry) but optimism is really all we have left. We may have been hurt a lot by others, but that doesn't mean everyone out there wants to hurt us. There's still a lot of kind people with common sense out there. I can't think of anyone who would actively want to humiliate a deceased person by leaking completely unnecessary messages, especially when they'd need to be professional since it's their job.

 

[wljourney]

No your right to privacy extends beyond your death and unless you give your family access to your phone, they wouldn't be informed about content that doesn't seem relevant to the investigation (if there is much of any investigation at all).

 

[Al Cappella]

They would only look if they suspected a crime was involved. That said, only a lawyer in your jurisdiction would be able to tell you for certain.

 

[CandyCane]

No your right to privacy extends beyond your death and unless you give your family access to your phone, they wouldn't be informed about content that doesn't seem relevant to the investigation (if there is much of any investigation at all).

This isn't true. You family can even see your medical records after you die.

 

[wljourney]

This isn't true. You family can even see your medical records after you die.

Not here in Canada. Patients have to approve of any kind of information sharing when it comes to medical records. Unless of course they are under 18.

 

[theboy]

It could be, it could be... When I tried CTB they showed all my messages to the family. Hate the people who did that.

 

[cfcfcfcf]

It could be, it could be... When I tried CTB they showed all my messages to the family. Hate the people who did that.

They unlocked it?

 

[theboy]

They unlocked it?

Yes, quite bad

 

[CandyCane]

Not here in Canada. Patients have to approve of any kind of information sharing when it comes to medical records. Unless of course they are under 18.

Not true.
"Where the individual is deceased, the substitute decision-maker may make such a request on behalf of the deceased individual. Where the health information custodian grants the access, the substitute decision-maker also has the right to request that the record be corrected."
"In most jurisdictions, you may be permitted to disclose a deceased's personal health information for reasons other than administering the estate and to someone other than the legal representative. The information that can be disclosed is typically limited to the circumstances surrounding the death of the individual or health services the patient recently received"

 

[Hope:-)]

I have the type of family who if not wiped clean, (which I neither know how to nor can be bothered to do,) will go through all my phone and laptop. It sucks...but hey, at least I'll be dead. The police will give your phone to your parents when they return property. I don't know how much your parents will pursue finding reasons for your ctb on your phone. I also don't know how frankly nosy they are. My family is sickly nosy. and will probably pretend to themselves that they are trying to find the reasons why I did it when in fact the reasons are obvious.

 

[Rational man]

Why would you care?. If you cease to exist to face the consequences of any thing, your identity may have left in this world.!

 

[Sittichmutter]

I have the type of family who if not wiped clean, (which I neither know how to nor can be bothered to do,) will go through all my phone and laptop. It sucks...but hey, at least I'll be dead. The police will give your phone to your parents when they return property. I don't know how much your parents will pursue finding reasons for your ctb on your phone. I also don't know how frankly nosy they are. My family is sickly nosy. and will probably pretend to themselves that they are trying to find the reasons why I did it when in fact the reasons are obvious.

The reasons may be obvious for you. But your family can not read your mind when you do not talk.
They will read everything, try to understand, feel terrible guilty and never fully recover.
Wellcome to my world.

 

[Hope:-)]

The reasons may be obvious for you. But your family can not read your mind when you do not talk.
They will read everything, try to understand, feel terrible guilty and never fully recover.
Wellcome to my world.

I don't have a loving family. I was given the wrong medications for 16 years which was life ruining. They know this. I haven't worked in years, I don't have authorship over my finances.. these are obvious reasons. They know I have been suicidal but don't think I'm 'brave enough' to do it. I don't feel guilty because in my case, they don't really care. Everyone's situation is different x

 

[Sittichmutter]

I don't have a loving family. I was given the wrong medications for 16 years which was life ruining. They know this. I haven't worked in years, I don't have authorship over my finances.. these are obvious reasons. They know I have been suicidal but don't think I'm 'brave enough' to do it. I don't feel guilty because in my case, they don't really care. Everyone's situation is different x

Maybe you and your family are miscommunicating. Parents love their children madly. It is Impossible not to love a child.
But then you grow up and get mental issues. And parents do not know how to behave around you. They are afraid. They love you but do not know how to reach out to you. If you want help, Just Tell them. What do you want? How can they help you? How bad you feel!
They do not know your pain. Because, If they really knew, they would do everything to save you.
Lots of love to you

 

[hamvil]

Bro thought bout it. I don't want my parents to see my deleted sexts
Like I mean ik you can hire a pi but don't police investigate will anyone reveal anything?

I do not know what to tell you. I can only tell you my point of view. I did think about this a few times, there are quite a few embarrassing online trails I left behind, mostly related to hate speech, sex, and well my porn history :)

I realised that after all I am nobody. There is no reason anybody would want to look deep into that. I guess they could find my posts here but that could be a good things, maybe they will understand better how I feel.

I guess I will delete the dating apps from my phone. This should be enough to avoid any further search. I guess that also deleting the browsing history should be enough. There are probably ways to discover that but I guess nobody will bother.

In the worst case I do not mind if my father finds anything, he is fucked up and deserves it. I would be really sorry if my wife finds any of it. She is a simple minded person but she is very good, she would not deserve it.

Love.

 

[wljourney]

Not true.
"Where the individual is deceased, the substitute decision-maker may make such a request on behalf of the deceased individual. Where the health information custodian grants the access, the substitute decision-maker also has the right to request that the record be corrected."
"In most jurisdictions, you may be permitted to disclose a deceased's personal health information for reasons other than administering the estate and to someone other than the legal representative. The information that can be disclosed is typically limited to the circumstances surrounding the death of the individual or health services the patient recently received"

Yes.
You are quoting something that confirms what I said:

unless you have designated a "substitute decision maker" (which requires multiple signatures and forms, this is not just anyone) relatives don't automatically become eligible to this information. Even if they inherit your properties, they are not legally considered "substitute decision makers".

And as you quoted yourself, this does not extend to your whole medical history, only very specific (limited!) details surrounding the death.

Access to phones is different. That's not covered by the rules for medical files.

To the OP:
Delete your browser history and apps. That'll slow them down. If they really want to go to the great lengths of finding out more, they'll have to be extremely determined. It's unlikely they will. Always remember: they might be afraid of what they'll find. Or they may even have a pretty good idea why you choose to CTB.

Wishing you all the best.

 

[melancholic]

As someone who has lost many friends, my parents (yes you read that right, both of my parents offed themselves), and a cousin who I loved dearly - all to suicide, take it from me when it comes to online communications - destroy your stuff. I don't mean clear the browser history, nope I mean smash it and throw it away in trash that won't still be lying around when you're dead BECAUSE the police will go through your trash and find it. Throw it in a chain store dumpster before you go home, seriously....I'm not thrilled about it but am on a first name basis with state police detectives because everyone I love has committed suicide and I had no choice but to interact with them and their investigations. If you decide to go through with this - DESTROY YOUR PHONE AND/OR LAPTOP beforehand. I know it sounds absolutely insane in the society we live in today - we are tethered to our phones. But it's not difficult to destroy it. Stop leaving breadcrumbs to websites like this. Simple. Otherwise the police and your family will go through your most intimate details and find this website and get it shut down. I went through my parents' computers after they died, and found out everything. If you want embarrassing shit to go away, destroy your shit before you check out. It is easy as shit to rip out a hard drive from any computer and smash it to bits, throw it in the trash and no one will ever know.