R
redwaymilk
Member
- Nov 28, 2021
- 32
Some. My old co workers not so much. The rest of my world - very surprising.
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I think many will be shocked; a few may not be surprised. No one gives a fuck about you when you're alive and suffering.
I just turned 60 myself.My family and friends will be surprised but not shocked. They've witnessed from near and far my obsessive involvement in various cults, my debilitating financial losses to charlatans and mercenary girlfriends, my wayward career path and drug addictions.
I was first born, the guinea pig in the nuclear family lab, and received the unbuffered brunt of my parents' mental illnesses. My father suicided at age 50. Somehow I made it to 59. But living has become too burdensome
I'm having trouble getting my affairs in order and there will be some loose ends but that's always the case. Death and suffering, it seems to me, are the only trustworthy features of the cosmos. They will be surprised but not shocked at news of my demise.
I was once hospitalized for just having suicidal thoughts after my mom died. My husband knows I'm on this site but I still think he'd be shocked that I actually went through with it.