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R

redwaymilk

Member
Nov 28, 2021
32
Some. My old co workers not so much. The rest of my world - very surprising.
 
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existtosuffer

existtosuffer

Student
Sep 22, 2021
150
I think many will be shocked; a few may not be surprised. No one gives a fuck about you when you're alive and suffering.
 
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...

...

crippled with grief
Nov 8, 2021
335
given i tried barely 2 months ago and spent the time since bedridden, not really
 
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D

Deleted member 32964

Guest
Nobody who knew me before would be surprised if I committed suicide. Everyone knows I became suicidal years ago. I "lost it" after a sex abuse and haven't ever recovered. While crying "HELP" in medical and financial and D.V. issues while moving and working like an animal, everyone in my fascist family just rolled their eyes. They'd generally get off on it. People in my family like men respected for money - (which I consider EVIL). People in my family would rather see a woman dead than have their name slandered, be accused of abuse or rejected. People in my family HONOR KILL and support honor violence. Nobody would see it as a surprise. In fact - I think they'd push women into it so miserable to see me independent, safe, healthy, exercising, educating - it PISSES PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY off to see a woman stand up on her own 2 legs. They'd feel better. They need to be needed, respected and honored and obeyed for "who they are" in my "family". No surprise at all. It's cultural - in my "community".

A friend of mine surprised me with suicide. I wasn't really surprised but her long-term torture situation wasn't much unlike my own. I also expected (as I would, with my own family) that they'd try to collect off of things like "hospital negligence in a psych emergency" and make a fortune off of misfortune. I've left a note stating that I expect the same from my own father. It's absolutely characterless behavior. I wanted to vomit. As she was from a fundamentalist Muslim family - I'd expect it. As i am from a family where sucking cocks to keep your dignity is expected - I expect it. I left for feminist culture. These "people" just get UGLIER and UGLIER and UGLIER to me to the point where they don't even look human to me, anymore. There is no "turning back" for me.

My friend finally threw herself from a building. Nobody helped her with her basic human needs. She needed to "submit". People who do this to women cause suicide and are honor killers. I'm just waiting for the day that this rope snaps that tethers me to them. I'd rather live in the street and have $5 to my name than touch one. It's FILTHY

That kind of suicide is family murder. it's forced onto women from cultural backgrounds like listed above. I hate my FAMILY and my COMMUNITY. I HATE THEM.

RIP - Haneefah :( https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Lawsuit-says-woman-died-because-SF-psychiatric-8346738.php


Surprise!!!!!!!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
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clown_17

clown_17

Almost gone, it almost worked
Oct 24, 2020
288
A bit of both. The people around me know I'm suicidal and especially since I recently failed, but they seem to think I'm okay once I go a few months without attempting. So they'll probably still be caught off guard a bit, they probably think I'm all talk and no acting.
 
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Thisisme373

Thisisme373

Arcanist
Feb 16, 2019
418
My family/friends would be shocked but I also think some of them deep down do know I am struggling. They'd still be shocked, I think.
 
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N

noLongTalk

New Member
Nov 14, 2021
4
Will be shocked but more so " can't believe they actually did it" shocked.
 
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4eyebiped

4eyebiped

Mage
Dec 28, 2019
567
No one will be surprised here. I have always been an open and blunt person. The misery can't be any clearer. I do not like to bullshit or lie about things. No one has any solutions so they have no further say in what I do. I don't even bother to hide the huge ass helium tank that I bought.
 
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lucid

lucid

antinatalist specialist
Jun 29, 2019
177
I assume not, maybe to some. A lot of people I know know I am suicidal, especially some of my family. One or two know I am literally waiting to do it.
I have tried to not hide things lately and be straight up as possible, because I am so tired of trying to hide everything for everyone else as well as myself.
 
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Seiba

Seiba

Mage
Jun 13, 2021
505
For the one person I talk to online it won't be shocking. For my mother it will be a bit of a shock, but she should know better considering my past history.
 
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Kobusu

Kobusu

Writer
Oct 18, 2021
268
My suicide will come as a shock in the same way it's shocking when a bear kills someone. Pretty gross to look at, but it's a bear what did you think it would do?
 
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wanttogetonthebus

wanttogetonthebus

chronically unlucky
Nov 27, 2021
405
It won't shock my family. They know I'm suffering, but they'll have a lot of emotions. They'll be angry and sad and hurt and all kinds of things, but in the end they'll be okay. They understand that they don't know what I'm going through. No one should have to know. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst of enemies or anyone.
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
It would be unexpected but shouldn't be a big surprise to many people. Overall, who cares. I am done with life
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,373
No. I've made it clear to my closest friends that I'm going to do it sometime next year and nothing they can say or do will stop me. They usually try to change the subject thankfully.
 
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layne2001

layne2001

Member
Jan 27, 2021
43
Interesting responses here. For me it won't be a surprise to anyone who's ever met me. Its not that I've been open about depression its that once you're really bad its obvious and visible to everyone. My highschool friends knew it (even strangers, lol) my childhood friend, all of my family. It sort of feels like they're just waiting for me to do it so the problem is finally over. I've been suicidal for so long no one really cares or takes it seriously anymore and think I don't have it in me to do it. Well they're funny but I'm about to be hilarious
 
avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,358
Nope. I have been this way for a long, long time. Just in the past several months I actively and openly say my thoughts out loud involving it even if there are people around. Am pretty damn sure approximately 0 people in my life will be surprised.
 
NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
1,608
I've tried to off myself dozens of times over the past 20 years. Been locked in the psych ward many times. In that respect, it won't come as a surprise.

I've been stable on my meds and haven't been locked up for the last 5 years, though, so in that way it will shock people. They assume I don't want to CTB.
 
Niko66

Niko66

Specialist
Dec 6, 2021
353
I would think so for most people IRL yeah, I have only talked about being suicidal online.
 
U

Unicornsrnot4dislife

Not meant for this world…….
Nov 12, 2021
128
I've cut myself off from loads of people, so they don't know what I'm going through. Complete shock. Especially because of the mask that always show other people. They wouldn't see me as that girl that committed suicide.
 
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Death is your gift

Death is your gift

Member
Oct 7, 2021
44
It should not be a surprise for my close friends and members of family, as I am depressed with suicidal thoughts for years. But in any case this would create a big shock, no doubt about that...
 
HiImPaul

HiImPaul

Student
Nov 5, 2021
125
Yeah it probably will be. Although my parents know that the SSRIs I just started taking can cause suicidal thoughts so maybe it'll comfort them to just blame the pills whenever I decide to ctb.
 
D

dead2thisworld

New Member
Dec 9, 2021
3
My family and friends will be surprised but not shocked. They've witnessed from near and far my obsessive involvement in various cults, my debilitating financial losses to charlatans and mercenary girlfriends, my wayward career path and drug addictions.

I was first born, the guinea pig in the nuclear family lab, and received the unbuffered brunt of my parents' mental illnesses. My father suicided at age 50. Somehow I made it to 59. But living has become too burdensome

I'm having trouble getting my affairs in order and there will be some loose ends but that's always the case. Death and suffering, it seems to me, are the only trustworthy features of the cosmos. They will be surprised but not shocked at news of my demise.
 
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eternalmelancholy

eternalmelancholy

waiting for the bus
Mar 24, 2021
1,169
I think many will be shocked; a few may not be surprised. No one gives a fuck about you when you're alive and suffering.

No one gives a fuck. They might pretend once you are dead but that is only because suicide makes people feel uncomfortable. The same people who drove you to suicide will be the ones attending the funeral pretending to care. Just the sheer hypocrisy is enraging.
 
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lostcause123

lostcause123

Surveyor
Dec 9, 2021
2
I was once hospitalized for just having suicidal thoughts after my mom died. My husband knows I'm on this site but I still think he'd be shocked that I actually went through with it.

There's really no one else who would care.
My family and friends will be surprised but not shocked. They've witnessed from near and far my obsessive involvement in various cults, my debilitating financial losses to charlatans and mercenary girlfriends, my wayward career path and drug addictions.

I was first born, the guinea pig in the nuclear family lab, and received the unbuffered brunt of my parents' mental illnesses. My father suicided at age 50. Somehow I made it to 59. But living has become too burdensome

I'm having trouble getting my affairs in order and there will be some loose ends but that's always the case. Death and suffering, it seems to me, are the only trustworthy features of the cosmos. They will be surprised but not shocked at news of my demise.
I just turned 60 myself.
 
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eternalmelancholy

eternalmelancholy

waiting for the bus
Mar 24, 2021
1,169
I was once hospitalized for just having suicidal thoughts after my mom died. My husband knows I'm on this site but I still think he'd be shocked that I actually went through with it.

It is crazy to me that you can be forcibly institutionalized just for having suicidal thoughts. There is something seriously wrong with society when depression is treated as a crime. Suicide prevention only prolongs suffering.
 

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