will ctb make someone happy?

[404]

i have a friend that i always vent to about my suicidal thoughte and lately they're getting very very tired of me...

they always say that we should end the "friendship" we have but i have gotten to the point where i rely on him every single day and without him i'll probably ctb.

the worst part is that i made a promise to him before that i'll make him happy but i've been doing the opposite

this whole problem i have is probably very stupid and immature but i want to ctb already because of the guilt and i can't bear the pain of losing the only friend i have-
maybe me ctb will make the both of us happy
is this a good idea?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

First of all, you are not guilty. What for? For your suicidal thoughts? That's certainly nothing to feel guilty for not even to CTB as long as this is your wish and you come to the conclusion that there is no other way out. Regarding your question, given the fact you already asked whether it's a good idea or not, then it's certainly not a good idea, at least not now! Your friend, if it was a real friend should be supportive and should try to understand your feelings but it's so hard to find people outside this community to understand the real problems most of us here are suffering from.

the worst part is that i made a promise to him before that i'll make him happy but i've been doing the opposite

What was your friends' promise to you that he makes you happy in the same time?

Losing a friend is always painful and being lonely after that as well, but in my opinion CTB in this case, at least now, will make none of you "happy".

 

[Worndown]

Honestly, neither of you would be happy.
Do you have the possibility of talking with a therapist? Vent to them more and your friend less. That might work.

 

[404]

Honestly, neither of you would be happy.
Do you have the possibility of talking with a therapist? Vent to them more and your friend less. That might work.

i can't talk to a therapist because of my current situtation so i only rely on my friend instead. it's a bad idea to do that but i don't really have any other choice.
i think it's better if i ctb already since i don't have a reason to live anymore and im just a burden to the only person i care about.

 

[Worndown]

If it is financial, there are usually free options. It does depend on where you are located.
If not, I hope you find a way through this.

 

[404]

What was your friends' promise to you that he makes you happy in the same time?

my friend told me that they'll help me with the problems i have so in return i told them i'll make them happy.
i think it's the right thing to do in that situation.
looking back, it's probably dumb of me to say that since i don't really know what happiness means

 

[Aisley]

Come here and vent about it. If your friend is a good person, then he doesn't deserve this shit, and doesn't know what to do with it. Come here, we'll read and sympathize and advise when you want it, and then you can just be friends with this poor guy. That's all he wants.
And suicide won't make you happy; it'll just make you nothing.

 

[404]

And suicide won't make you happy; it'll just make you nothing.

isn't suicide an escape from the many problems someone has?
how would it not make someone struggling with a lot things happy?

 

[Aisley]

isn't suicide an escape from the many problems someone has?
how would it not make someone struggling with a lot things happy?

Cuz you'll be dead. Nothing doesn't experience happy. Nothing doesn't experience, period.

 

[404]

Cuz you'll be dead. Nothing doesn't experience happy. Nothing doesn't experience, period.

feeling nothing is better than feeling pain everyday
i consider that as "happiness" at this point

 

[Aisley]

feeling nothing is better than feeling pain everyday
i consider that as "happiness" at this point

Tomato, tomaaato? My point is, leave this friend alone when it comes to this topic. He doesn't want to talk about it, and he'll leave from the monotony and discomfort of it. He wants to play video games or smoke banana peels or whatever kids are doing these days. And you can use this site to talk about it, cuz we know, and we're good with it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't think we do feel 'happy' when someone we cares about dies- either naturally- or- by their own hand. We may feel relief for them- if we knew they were suffering. We may feel relief for ourselves- if we were finding it hard to cope with them- although that feeling may also trigger a bit of guilt. It's not nice to feel like we can't cope with a friend anymore. If I'm honest- I expect the only time your friend would feel happy is if you managed to feel happy yourself again. I expect they want the best for you and- seeing as they likely don't agree that death is your best option- they probably wouldn't be happy about it. Sorry to sound harsh- just my opinion.

I do feel bad for you. I have had the feeling of being a burden on people in the past and it's an awful feeling. I expect the answer would be to try and find another source to rant to- a therapist, even journaling or ranting here. Here I'd say would be the perfect place to just let it all out. Not to be cruel but it's annonymous. There's less obligation here. People can read and respond if they feel emotionally up to it themselves. I'm sorry you are in this situation though.

 

[Unattainable666]

i have a friend that i always vent to about my suicidal thoughte and lately they're getting very very tired of me...

they always say that we should end the "friendship" we have but i have gotten to the point where i rely on him every single day and without him i'll probably ctb.

the worst part is that i made a promise to him before that i'll make him happy but i've been doing the opposite

this whole problem i have is probably very stupid and immature but i want to ctb already because of the guilt and i can't bear the pain of losing the only friend i have-
maybe me ctb will make the both of us happy
is this a good idea?

The number of people who will be glad I'm gone is too many to count. But the best part is that I won't be here to give a shit.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly think that permanent non-existence is the only relief in such an dreadful world filled with endless suffering, to me there could never be such a thing as "happiness" here, but after all it's a personal decision deciding when to leave, other people's reactions to our death could never matter as we simply won't be there at that point, we all have to die and lose everything someday, eventually we very likely won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here.