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Will any help from outside stop your suicide?
Thread starterDino007
Start date
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I would. If something would be able to kill the pain instead of me. If anyone could demote all the corrupt politicians to the coal miners. If people would be kind to each other and stop trying to be opportunistic sycophants. If something could erase my memories, selectively if possible. I can't stop thinking about the agonizing first and also the last post from the tragic methanol guy earlier. My mind is a dumpster fire that just wont go out.
More complicated than that.. He keeps going back and forth and making me an emotional wreck. I know that many people ask me to move on from such a toxic guy. But I am just not able to. I love him with all my heart.
Yes. Because he cannot stand on his commitment and I m more broken each time. I know I shouldn't be trusting me. That is why I don't want to blame anyone. I just ordered SN and will do it tomorrow. Hopefully it will work. This world is so fucked up. Even if you ask for love you are branded as selfish while that is exactly what others are.
@Dino007 I can relate to the pain I met my love when we both were 15 we fell in love with each other so much quickly and not for one day has it disappeared, I was fu*ing young and a little dumb although we've been on and off through the years by the time we both realized how much we actually needed each other things were complicated and we can't be together that kills me. Now I look at this clown world, sjws, growing by the minute government control, wage slavery A.I etc and it's going to turn into a Shi show and I don't have the one thing anymore that made me not care about those things I see no purpose existing in the world that's here and coming.
I am on this forum because I feel I am unable to realize the life I so desperately want, no matter how hard I try. A quick and painless exit would be easy, if not for the fact that killing myself will only ensure I will never have that life . Fill your waking mind with thoughts of what you desire the most, and endless simulations of paths you can take to reach it, each more unlikely to come to fruition than the last, and each, you come to realize, nothing more than wishful thinking of your overactive and diseased mind. A thought escapes for the briefest moment from the deepest levels of your subconscious into your train of thought, that there IS no solution, and death is the only escape from having to face that awful truth. But its funny, how the only logical thought your mind produced since you woke up this morning is the one your mind was quickest to dismiss.
Many things would have to change for me to not consider this...Since I'm dreaming here...My mother and family would have to finally acknowledge what they've done, finally love me and will give back what they took from me so many years ago...My ex fiance would apologize, take my apology as well and take me back....We get back together and have the relationship I always wanted with him....My so called friends apologize for never being there for me. For letting me literally sit in isolation for weeks now in my own tears...Instead my family doesn't even know what I'm going through. My fiance isn't coming back and I will be homeless again soon...and if I decided to live id just spend the rest of my miserable life trying to get him back so I could fix things. I have no real friends.
Money and a job I really love. Finally get to go to Japan after years of trying to learn Japanese and dreaming.
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Broken Chimera, Letmego. Please, Empty Smile and 2 others
I have been in the boat where one person would change it for me. I know that it is hard for people, but I take it seriously when someone says that they will be there for me and help. Sadly, I have had it too often where people have said that and then leave so now I feel isolated and distant from everyone, even my friends. I just can't trust that they won't be there when I feel like I need someone the most. I just someone to be there and to not give up on me.
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Rn110bg101, Letmego. Please, Ladylethal and 1 other person
But even just the relief from the constant anxiety and regret and remorse would help greatly. Someone told me that sometimes the miracle isn't that something just falls into your lap, sometime's it's a shift in perspective.
If someone wanted to help by giving me $20 million dollars, I would stay alive long enough to spend it and test that theory that money doesn't buy happiness
I've been trying to get help for a year now. If there was some pill or some method to take away my anxiety and anhedonia I would jump at the chance. Unfortunately I believe drugs have permanently damaged my brain.
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Letmego. Please, Ladylethal and Ruffian
I know this is gonna sound dumb and terribly unrealistic but if one day the values of society change, then yeah for sure, i'd like to stay for a bit longer.
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Going Home, Letmego. Please, Ruffian and 1 other person
Maybe if there was a professional system that really cared about healing people, not just helping them be self-sustained enough so they can work and pay taxes.
But then again the idea of healing is probably utopian for someone like me who has dealt with anxiety and depression all his life from his earliest childhood.
I'm making excuses again. But I can't help it. It's a vicious circle. Eventually I'll just CTB, it's really inevitable. At least I think...
If someone wanted to help by giving me $20 million dollars, I would stay alive long enough to spend it and test that theory that money doesn't buy happiness
It's certainly better to have money than not. There's a lot you don't have to worry about. A lot of things you can do. But it doesn't buy happiness. Trust me. From someone who had a lot of money I can tell you I was never truly happy. At least happy with myself. It's why I became a drug addict.
If someone wanted to help by giving me $20 million dollars, I would stay alive long enough to spend it and test that theory that money doesn't buy happiness
Money alone won't buy you happiness. You have to have a purpose too. But money affords you the ability to go after that purpose. Money offers you the freedom to do it. It can offer the chance for redemption because you can change your life with it.
I wish more than anything that I had enough to do that. I'm still holding out for some kind of miracle. I know I could turn my life around with it. I keep hoping the universe/God/anyone out there cares enough about that.
But sometimes I wonder if regret, remorse, and desire for redemption is enough. I fear that to them, what you did in your past just sinks you.
All I had to do was follow a career and save up a decent amount of money. That's it. I could fix the other things and right my past wrongs. All except the financial part.
No not now fate recently played a huge joke on me, the last thing in this world that I had any interest in appeared in front of me and just as fast I lose it all. I am done with this world playing it's games with me not long now until I go catch that bus.
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Broken Chimera, Letmego. Please and Superfluous
Maybe if there was a professional system that really cared about healing people, not just helping them be self-sustained enough so they can work and pay taxes.
But then again the idea of healing is probably utopian for someone like me who has dealt with anxiety and depression all his life from his earliest childhood.
I'm making excuses again. But I can't help it. It's a vicious circle. Eventually I'll just CTB, it's really inevitable. At least I think...
I don't think of it as making excuses. Dealing with anxiety and depression your whole life is horrible. It's awful, it's debilitating and you get so used to how others perceive you as non-person you start thinking of yourself that way. I got stuck in traffic is an excuse.
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Going Home, Letmego. Please and Faraway1990
Immediately after my 1st and nearly successful attempt, there was a queue at my door wanting to give help. I accepted it all. Group therapy was great, it gave me some purpose. The case workers were great, I had a wonderful rapport with one of them. The first little head doc was great, he actually listened and thought about what he heard. Suddenly, I had more hope than I had had for a long time.
But slowly, as you try to recover, the help dries up and is replaced by, well, nothing very much. The one place I went where I felt I fit in, closed, funding withdrawn. The little head doc moved on and the others I saw were just not in the same ball park. Therapy decided I was "stable" so it all stopped. Medical professionals cannot do anything about the physical stuff.
So began the slow decline to where I am now, more or less back to square one. The only real difference will be, I am now much more educated about suicide and am determined the next attempt will be the last.
I wish I had been offered help like that. I was involuntarily committed for basically venting suicidal thoughts to a support group on reddit and someone reported my comments. All I got was the bright lights, shitty food and damaging psych drugs in the psych ward, and people in my life acting like I did something bad.
I'm not rich, I work and pay bills to survive. That sums up my life. That's it. I don't go out. I don't go to meet people. I rarely smile unless I have to hide my depression.
Nothing makes me happy. I crawl through life each day waiting to find the finish line. Hopefully soon, I will be reaching out to that line.
As far as if help presented itself? No, I've had all the help I've can stand. Nothing has helped, nothing will change. I'm done.
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Broken Chimera, Circles, Letmego. Please and 2 others
I think this may have been proven, as I remember a therapist saying that after a certain point more money won't help. I never actually researched it though, and she tended to know everything about everything. Of course one bipolar manic episode can wipe out thousands of dollars. Sometimes I think I should go full on Britney Spears, but I don't know who to trust with my finances.
For some of us, suicide is one of the options. What if there is something that can be done to stop your suicide? Would you be willing to live if someone can help you? If yes, please say how..
No. Theres nothing, no one. I hate the dynamic of the world itself. I hate to see me struggling. The world can be quite great if the right person can look at the world with a smile, but that person is not me. I want to look at the world with a smile, obv. All the things I want to do... but I just cant. I have solid reasons to die, so this make the situation stable. is always a bad thing that u want to die, you know, but i have so much going on believe me. Im scared of myself, im my enemy.
But I can't do this man, because I would never be the person I want and Im struggling for this too. I have so many compulsive thoughts and this mind cant chance the way I see the world... why theres not some place where u can kill yourself easily... like, I want to click a button and after tre seconds I want a pill to appear and I know this pill will kill me. I think in the future someone will invent this thing, but imagine how many people can die because threatened or Idk... so idk.
The point is: no.
Sorry if this comment is a little messed up. And im not native english, sorry for any typo/error.
An immense amount of help could fix some of my issues, and give me at least a reason to continue on for a while (though a lot of my reasons are completely external to myself, and impossible to fix at all or at least in my lifetime).
The problem is that it's not reasonable for me to expect that help from other people. If it breaks me so much, I understand why it ends up just frustrating other people and potentially pulling them down with me. Especially since from many perspectives (especially of the people who think they have the energy to make them capable of helping) it's extremely simple.
There's truth in it when they say that it's at least partially my fault, for acting & thinking how I do. The only thing is people can't seem to look at it from my perspective. I'm frustrated too. It's not so simple as just "putting a little bit of effort in" when it's literally part of my core being that's contributing to it. I can't just change who I am, or how I view the world. I can't just ignore everything that I don't like. It's everything but simple. It's everything.
Point is, yeah help could keep me alive longer, but I don't think it's worth it for anyone involved, and I think it's quite unrealistic of me to expect it (at least to the extent that I'd need).
I'd likely reach the same conclusion in the end, anyway, and it's very possible that I could end up dragging someone down with me.
I'm not saying any of this is inherently true for anyone else, it's obviously very nuanced & specific.
I slightly want to leave this as a note to my loved ones for after... So beautifully put. I know they wouldn't understand so I won't, but I like it nonetheless.
I used to think it might help to win the lottery but when I try to imagine it against different elements of my life I realize it's really not gonna do much.
No because there is no 'help' even if i am apparently under the 'care' of my local nutty health trust. Their 'care' is just a useless illusion as they don't do preventative 'help' other than send a disinterested person round every now & then who knows where i am at mentally but ignores it as there is nothing she could offer anyway. Nice really as it just adds to the depression & the reasons why it has to be done, sorry sarcasm creeping in again.
So NO nothing will 'help' as there is nothing or nobody, just me, myself & i.
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