![Marine](/data/avatars/l/19/19516.jpg?1725884664)
Marine
*~ 絶対に 全てを取り戻させてもらう ~*
- Jul 5, 2020
- 678
I think I ended up getting the proof of the cursed dooming hell instead of that of the law of attraction...
I got retraumatized to annihilation by the EXACT type I NEED more than life itself, my absolute ideal man, who matched then immediately blocked me. The only one in forever. Whenever someone truly attracts me this ALWAYS happens. I don't know why the universe didn't let me die in 2018 or 19 then, just why ?!
No one can make me believe that I created anything like this ever even with what I might have thought in the past it doesn't check out whatsoever, just I have to stop here... I just can't and don't get anything, I'm just in absolute terror and horror now...
If my worst trauma from 3 and a half years ago, so it's not like my thoughts and emotions haven't evolved since then, the very one that lead me to death twice when an entire life of trauma didn't, keeps replaying itself in spite of continued efforts of the best attitude, actions and expectations I just can't sustain it anymore. It's too violent and comes out of absolutely nowhere, the only thing I had in my heart for a while was the exact opposite with perfect good feeling and hope.
The only thing that could save me would be someone better, and if that doesn't come I'm done... There is nothing I can do anymore otherwise...
I got retraumatized to annihilation by the EXACT type I NEED more than life itself, my absolute ideal man, who matched then immediately blocked me. The only one in forever. Whenever someone truly attracts me this ALWAYS happens. I don't know why the universe didn't let me die in 2018 or 19 then, just why ?!
No one can make me believe that I created anything like this ever even with what I might have thought in the past it doesn't check out whatsoever, just I have to stop here... I just can't and don't get anything, I'm just in absolute terror and horror now...
If my worst trauma from 3 and a half years ago, so it's not like my thoughts and emotions haven't evolved since then, the very one that lead me to death twice when an entire life of trauma didn't, keeps replaying itself in spite of continued efforts of the best attitude, actions and expectations I just can't sustain it anymore. It's too violent and comes out of absolutely nowhere, the only thing I had in my heart for a while was the exact opposite with perfect good feeling and hope.
The only thing that could save me would be someone better, and if that doesn't come I'm done... There is nothing I can do anymore otherwise...
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