Venting WHY WHY WHY

[idontfeellikeimreal]

I actually cannot be bothered anymore. I am so hurt and whenever i feel like something is going good, it takes a huge turn and gets bad.
Life is horrible, I can't achieve anything.
Why does it have to be this bad?
Why are people like this?

I have a great therapist, but I cannot articulate myself about how i feel. Especially not in person, I am extremely socially awkward.

I am worthless, I don't matter, I am not valid.

I can't even ctb, I failed all of my 4 attempts, sometimes i was happy about failing; but most of the time i was ashamed of failing.

I have a great and really supportive family, but they don't understand me. I am so unthankful, I don't think I should be here anymore.

 

[derpyderpins]

I actually cannot be bothered anymore. I am so hurt and whenever i feel like something is going good, it takes a huge turn and gets bad.
Life is horrible, I can't achieve anything.
Why does it have to be this bad?
Why are people like this?

I have a great therapist, but I cannot articulate myself about how i feel. Especially not in person, I am extremely socially awkward.

I am worthless, I don't matter, I am not valid.

I can't even ctb, I failed all of my 4 attempts, sometimes i was happy about failing; but most of the time i was ashamed of failing.

I have a great and really supportive family, but they don't understand me. I am so unthankful, I don't think I should be here anymore.

Whether you have worth or whether you matter are philosophical discussions i'd be willing to have with you, but you absolutely are valid. You are a result of genetics + experience, and the result is absolutely valid.

I'm sorry everything is so hard. It's hard to be thankful for individual components when the whole sucks. Don't feel too bad for struggling with that.

Have you tried articulating how you feel NOT in person, like in a journal or something, and bringing that to your therapist? Maybe show them posts like this one to get some direction on how to share.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. You matter and you're not worthless. A failed attempt isn't bad and you don't have to be ashamed for this. Don't be too hard to yourself. Although your family may not understand you completely they are supportive as u said and that is a very good base.

We're here for you!

 

[sensitiveguy]

Is there something you are thankful for?

 

[idontfeellikeimreal]

Whether you have worth or whether you matter are philosophical discussions i'd be willing to have with you, but you absolutely are valid. You are a result of genetics + experience, and the result is absolutely valid.

I'm sorry everything is so hard. It's hard to be thankful for individual components when the whole sucks. Don't feel too bad for struggling with that.

Have you tried articulating how you feel NOT in person, like in a journal or something, and bringing that to your therapist? Maybe show them posts like this one to get some direction on how to share.

Well I do have a notebook, I write down my feelings and thoughts. But i cannot imagine someone reading that tbh..

Is there something you are thankful for?

Well I am thankful for my family, but sometimes I can't show it.

People often tell me im not thankful or rude, even tho they have no idea.

 

[derpyderpins]

Well I do have a notebook, I write down my feelings and thoughts. But i cannot imagine someone reading that tbh..

It's tough. . . but that's what you have to do, right? Not share the notebook, but the goal is share the feelings. Maybe only certain entries that really describe what you wish you could talk about.

 

[sensitiveguy]

Well I am thankful for my family, but sometimes I can't show it.

People often tell me im not thankful or rude, even tho they have no idea.

I am also thankful to the girl I love but I will never have chance to show it to her at all because she is dead.

 

[idontfeellikeimreal]

I am also thankful to the girl I love but I will never have change to show it to her at all because she is dead.

I'm sorry for your loss.