Venting Why self harm feels like a drug?

[TinyGuy]

Before I started I said to myself just a few scratches I wont even make myself bleed just to see how it feels and that's what I did. The next time I decided to make myself bleed and just like that I continued going harder and harder every single time and here I am now having to clean of the blood of my leg and telling myself damn it I didnt go hard enough I wanna go harder next time.How do people quit that? My reasons for doing it is bcz I hate myself so much that I want to ruin myself and honestly it kinda makes me feel better which might sound weird but it's true.

 

[i love yoshi ^-^]

Before I started I said to myself just a few scratches I wont even make myself bleed just to see how it feels and that's what I did. The next time I decided to make myself bleed and just like that I continued going harder and harder every single time and here I am now having to clean of the blood of my leg and telling myself damn it I didnt go hard enough I wanna go harder next time.How do people quit that? My reasons for doing it is bcz I hate myself so much that I want to ruin myself and honestly it kinda makes me feel better which might sound weird but it's true.

for me it's that it allows me to divert my mental stress into a physical stress. i never went past hitting myself because i'm very scared of blood, but i think it may be very dangerous if all the previous wounds give you stress, so you need to double down.

take care, i think it can easily spiral out of control.

 

[yowai]

Releases some chemicals in the brain plus adrenaline, don't remember which ones but it makes you focus on your injuries and you temporarily snap out of your mental suffering. When I've self harmed I also felt weirdly calm after, as if the toxic stuff went out together with the blood lol

 

[H.O.Xan]

Euphoria. Can't remember exactly how I felt. I stopped coz I realised it's pretty pointless. Doesn't do anything to make problems go away

 

[pleroman]

I suspect because when one is very helpless and every action or choice results in more suffering anyway, harming the self seems like one of the few things you can do for certain and provides a feeling of control.

It was true for me but I managed to stop doing it, possibly finding other outlets of relieving helplessness.