Why now these strange thoughts about my body after CTB

[Galaxie76]

Do any of you feel the same way? CTB completely planned, only one ingredient is still missing, which will probably come soon, and I think about how creepy it is, how my body decomposes after the CTB, or how it is cut open in the forensic medicine. Is there anyone else who feels this way? Or am I going crazy now? Are such thoughts normal? I'm dead when things like that happen and they shouldn't bother me...But they do, and somehow fill me with fear.

 

[melwarson]

Do any of you feel the same way? CTB completely planned, only one ingredient is still missing, which will probably come soon, and I think about how creepy it is, how my body decomposes after the CTB, or how it is cut open in the forensic medicine. Is there anyone else who feels this way? Or am I going crazy now? Are such thoughts normal? I'm dead when things like that happen and they shouldn't bother me...But they do, and somehow fill me with fear.

I actually almost died twenty years ago due to serve health problems and I actually wasn't fearful. But I recently lost two close family members and this same thing has been bothering me and giving me anxiety. I will likely ctb soon and the idea of decomposition or cremation really bothers me. I don't know why. It's very strange. Currently I try not to think about it but it's not easy. I think thoughts like that are normal. They are certainly unpleasant.

 

[Galaxie76]

Thank you very much for your reply. The fact that I'm not the only one who feels this way comforts me. True, when my grandmother and uncle died, these thoughts also occupied me. I know it's a very natural process that every living thing goes through at some point... But still.... related to my body, I think it's kind of creepy...

 

[The anhedonic one]

It doesn't bother me in the slightest because I hate that my consciousness is trapped inside a meat prison.
I hate the human body and don't even look after it anymore. I don't want to be found and have a funeral so it would be preferable if the animals feasted upon my corpse.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Do any of you feel the same way? CTB completely planned, only one ingredient is still missing, which will probably come soon, and I think about how creepy it is, how my body decomposes after the CTB, or how it is cut open in the forensic medicine. Is there anyone else who feels this way? Or am I going crazy now? Are such thoughts normal? I'm dead when things like that happen and they shouldn't bother me...But they do, and somehow fill me with fear.

I actually don't care what happens with my body which is then only a cluster of atoms with no life-energy anymore. After death there is nothingness and/or the life-energy that leaves the body is reunited with energy that surrounds us. My thoughts are more about other stuff like would I miss sth in the future, could my situation get better, what about loved ones. Although being finally free from all agony and suffering is the best choice these thoughts are there and although up to some point they are stupid they are there, it's pretty much human I guess.

 

[Galaxie76]

I actually don't care what happens with my body which is then only a cluster of atoms with no life-energy anymore. After death there is nothingness and/or the life-energy that leaves the body is reunited with energy that surrounds us.

That sounds wonderfull... I hope it really is.