"Why not kill yourself?"

[hughmun9]

I think that thought so many times when I see so many tragic stories. The last time I thought this was when I watched this video titled "The World's Most Extreme Case of Amnesia".

And here I am with my meager situation by comparison considering it so strongly every day. Am I just a coward for wanting out? Maybe I'm just less flexible than other people, I've got more rigid expectations for what a worthwhile life looks like? I don't understand how people can tolerate some of these existences.

Not saying they're wrong for not CTB-ing, I'm just surprised that so many people choose to continue existing in such awful circumstances.

 

[fitoo5999]

Like it is easy to CBT. So many people continue cause they can't CBT at all. This is it.

 

[hughmun9]

Like it is easy to CBT. So many people continue cause they can't CBT at all. This is it.

That makes sense. Though some methods are very achievable, like if you have access to SN or N, but I suppose most of these people don't.

 

[fitoo5999]

Yes it is still hard even if you have access. Don't romantize it and make it sound like it is easy.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

There are many reasons why people may choose to stay , parents, kids, pets, fear, the hope it gets better .

Its not as easy for many people..

 

[hughmun9]

There are many reasons why people may choose to stay , parents, kids, pets, fear, the hope it gets better .

Its not as easy for many people..

Yes, but I'm talking about people with lives that to me seem unlivable. Like the guy I mentioned in the thread that has an 8 second memory. To be fair that impairment would certainly disable him from planning a CTB attempt, but I'd at least ask other people for help in his situation. Or people with severe, severe burn injuries that are absolutely maimed. Or people that survive CTB attempts with shotgun to their head that are again absolutely maimed.

I guess it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong when I see people live out these excruciatingly difficult lives since it takes a lot less for me to consider CTB-ing.

I think I'm being silly since just because I don't find someone else's circumstances worth living doesn't mean they don't. Everyone lives for different reasons since everyone values different things. But I sometimes wonder if other people's ability to find value in what I can't is a virtue I lack. If my inability to do so too is maybe a form of rigidity on my part. I don't know...

 

[yotaka]

Over the past couple years I've had a hard time with lots of movies, books, etc. for kind of the same reason. There are all these stories about people in horrific circumstances fighting with everything they have to stay alive and I'm like... why? But I think especially in American media there's this underlying message that clinging to life no matter what is the morally good thing to do

 

[limenlux]

I think that thought so many times when I see so many tragic stories. The last time I thought this was when I watched this video titled "The World's Most Extreme Case of Amnesia".

And here I am with my meager situation by comparison considering it so strongly every day. Am I just a coward for wanting out? Maybe I'm just less flexible than other people, I've got more rigid expectations for what a worthwhile life looks like? I don't understand how people can tolerate some of these existences.

Not saying they're wrong for not CTB-ing, I'm just surprised that so many people choose to continue existing in such awful circumstances.

I've been thinking about this sort of thing increasingly as my own life nears the crescendo of CTB, though I don't think I've made much progress.

I would imagine the interplay between genetic inclination and early-childhood development contributes tremendously to certain thought patterns being either established or "gated off" in the mind. Can a person build neural pathways for suicidality?

Something I can comment on a bit more confidently due to firsthand observation is the fact that a lot of people lack both the capacity for introspection and the foresight to properly dread the future. Coupled with survival instinct and the cultural inertia of traditional religious teachings, it's not at all surprising that suicide never crosses most people's minds beyond periods of sudden, extreme duress.

I think I'm being silly since just because I don't find someone else's circumstances worth living doesn't mean they don't. Everyone lives for different reasons since everyone values different things. But I sometimes wonder if other people's ability to find value in what I can't is a virtue I lack. If my inability to do so too is maybe a form of rigidity on my part. I don't know...

This is a million-dollar question, isn't it? Most of the people I've met who pushed forward in life while being fully cognizant of the dire straits in which they found themselves had missions. They were typically devoutly religious, but even the ones who weren't were zealots for something. I wish I knew how to unlock that sort of enthusiasm.

Over the past couple years I've had a hard time with lots of movies, books, etc. for kind of the same reason. There are all these stories about people in horrific circumstances fighting with everything they have to stay alive and I'm like... why? But I think especially in American media there's this underlying message that clinging to life no matter what is the morally good thing to do

With regards to American media specifically, you can't disregard the low trust, atomized, crabs in a bucket mentality that informs all aspects of our daily lives, ensuring that there's no such thing as a noble sacrifice, or an honorable death, or dignity in defeat. Most of the people for whom our media is created would cheer for a professional boxer beating up an infant, as long the boxer is winning.

 

[hughmun9]

I would imagine the interplay between genetic inclination and early-childhood development contributes tremendously to certain thought patterns being either established or "gated off" in the mind. Can a person build neural pathways for suicidality?

See that make sense to me. I've been very seriously thinking about suicide when I was 12-19, culminating with me jumping in front of a train at 19. At that time thoughts of CTB-ing were very frequent, and nothing really stopped me other than lack of means.

Since the age of 24 everything changed when I discovered the source of my trauma and was able to reconfigure my mind a bit. I even experienced a bit of joy and wholeness here and there. I genuinely had good moments every once in a while whereas in my childhood I was basically numb the whole time. Nowadays I still think of CTB as a potential option but I wonder if my life started out at this checkpoint would I ever really seriously consider CTB-ing? I might not.

Something I can comment on a bit more confidently due to firsthand observation is the fact that a lot of people lack both the capacity for introspection and the foresight to properly dread the future. Coupled with survival instinct and the cultural inertia of traditional religious teachings, it's not at all surprising that suicide never crosses most people's minds beyond periods of sudden, extreme duress.

That also resonates. It's not as if my current state is so abysmal that CTB-ing is the only way out. It's usually future projection of what my life will look like that really motivates me to end it now.