Why not fight for the ones you love and could be leaving behind?

[Hirokami]

That's basically my situation. Ever since my dad passed away, it's been up to me to take care of my mom. I don't mind, as I love her but she's one of the few reasons why I'm still here. She already lost a husband not too long ago. She doesn't deserve to lose her only child, too.

 

[fixitinpost]

That's what I'm doing, in a sense. My family has already lost one son and brother to suicide. My mother is entering her 80s and I don't want her experiencing the death of another child in her lifetime.

 

[Lost Magic]

Thats the thing. They will, and they do. We've all lost people and for the most part went on. Business as usual. We know and fully understand what you've been trying to say, but the thing is you seem to assume we are doing this with zero regard. A cursory check will confirm there are hundreds, maybe thousands of people asking everyone for advice on how to not cast blame in their note and instead leave heartwarming messages to everyone.

But we also arent about to assume that the world will stop turning when we're gone. We just know that life will go on for everyone. The people we loved will move on and get married and eventually forget about us.

Married and forget about us? Sorry, but that is a sweeping generalization. Like I said, complicated grief and the guilt survivors (especially of suicide victims) feel is all too real and painful. Have you, yourself, ever lost someone you love with all your heart? You never really get over that trauma. It lives with you everyday. I know a mother who lost her son to an overdose and she blames herself and hasn't been able to fully move on. Yes, everybody is different and will move on (sometimes) but it is never easy for the people left behind, unless you never cared for the person in the first place. All I said is, if you are going to cbt and you have people who will truly miss you (and many will) then do everything you can to let them know that you love them and that it isn't their fault. Plain and simple.

 

[FreeAngel]

My best friend is on the other side

I want to be with her

 

[CallOfTheVoid112]

My best friend is on the other side

I want to be with her

Mine is too. And I want to be with him...i understand your pain friend

 

[ZardozOmega]

I don't love anyone in my life, and even if I did, no one is entitled to my life.

 

[articledon]

Why would you want to harm yourself if you have a loving family or dependents. I know depression or other ailments make it harder but isn't it worth fighting for them? I have no siblings or parents (I looked after my mother for years) so I don't have really close family members to worry about losing me. So why not fight for the ones you love and the ones you are leaving behind?

I do kinda dig what you're saying because when I was taking care of my mother 24/7 I was frank with her, I said once you pass I'm probably gonna join you soon but she said I need to stick around for my sister. My sister died last week so now I'm in the mindset of there's really no one left to stick around for

 

[Lost Magic]

I do kinda dig what you're saying because when I was taking care of my mother 24/7 I was frank with her, I said once you pass I'm probably gonna join you soon but she said I need to stick around for my sister. My sister died last week so now I'm in the mindset of there's really no one left to stick around for

Wow, sorry to hear that. Damn, that's rough losing both of them. I too, looked after my mother when she was ill for years and my favourite uncle died just a few weeks ago. It's not easy, I feel your pain.

 

[articledon]

Wow, sorry to hear that. Damn, that's rough losing both of them. I too, looked after my mother when she was ill for years and my favourite uncle died just a few weeks ago. It's not easy and I feel your pain.

Yes, see you understand what I'm dealing with...I took care of my father on hospice, a month later my mother and only 2 months later my sister passed away....it was like bam bam bam, little time to breathe and morn

 

[Toptock]

Have you, yourself, ever lost someone you love with all your heart? You never really get over that trauma

Lol, dude, speaking of sweeping generalizations. yes I have, and yes I did. You're talking out of your ass. Trauma survivors can and do move on, not always, but they can.

 

[Lost Magic]

Lol, dude, speaking of sweeping generalizations. yes I have, and yes I did. You're talking out of your ass. Trauma survivors can and do move on, not always, but they can.

Oh good god you are so belligerent. My main point was to cherish the ones you love, cbt or not, let them know and leave something in a fucking note to ease their pain. What don't you get here?

Yes, see you understand what I'm dealing with...I took care of my father on hospice, a month later my mother and only 2 months later my sister passed away....it was like bam bam bam, little time to breathe and morn

Yes, it is certainly a hellava lot to deal with and take in. Sometimes it doesn't rain but it pours. You have been dealt with some major blows in life in regards to loss. The only thing I can say to you is, you did a great job looking after your family and I am sure they were proud of you and loved you very much. Whatever you do from here on out is your journey. Best wishes my friend!

 

[hopelessanddisabled]

I'm absolutely past the point of caring.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Why does everyone assume that people have loved ones they will be leaving behind?

 

[Deathbydemo]

I'm not strong enough to fight anymore. I've fought for years, and I'm tired. I want to rest.

 

[SueySide]

I think when someone still has the energy to care for the people they are leaving behind, they definitely have the strength to keep fighting.

 

[lofticries]

That's the plan since i won't be ctb until both my parents are dead. I'm not close with anyone else and don't plan to have any long term relationships of any kind in the future.

 

[Midnight-rain]

No one depends on me, and I don't give a damn about my family.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Not everyone has someone that they are going to be leaving behind. Given what some of the users in this community have posted it seems that they are the ones who have been left behind. That is why they wish to die, because they have no one left to care for.

Also: why is leaving others behind considered bad in the context of suicide?

You have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but then they break up with you. You have a family, but then they disown you. You have friends, but then they move on when you are no longer useful. These could all be considered examples of being abandoned by other people, but we do not see any of them as wrong necessarily. In fact those actions are defended. After all: "you cannot force someone to be in your life" is what is always preached. So why, then, can a suicidal person not "leave behind" other individuals when they themselves, and every other human, has experienced being left behind at one point in their own lives?

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

I have my twin and I don't want to hurt her. Also my parents. About my parents I really feel no obligation to stay given that they contributed greatly to me looking to end my life. But my twin... I don't want to hurt her at all and I know I will if I CTB. But I really believe this should be my choice, idk.

 

[Umbreon]

Because fuck my parents for making me xD. In all seriousness it's my own business and I don't give a shot what my pro life parents and society have to say

 

[mugger]

I'm actually taking SN tomorrow. I've hated my life and scarred the one person who treated me with love and empathy in my whole life by being a depressed, suicidal, unloving, abusive (emotionally) and dishonest person. I tried for the last year to go to therapy and turn things around. I graduated in Dec of 2020 and I have my first corp job and I feel even more empty. I have no purpose, I never did. I have by all accounts done everything "right" and I have ruined the only comfort I have ever been given after a life of anguish. I missed out on all the young adventures and social connections I yurned for my whole life. I met someone at 20 and fell in love for the first time but couldn't handle myself as a decent human being. I was aware that our relationship was going to end for the last year and no matter what I did we could never get back to where we once were no matter how much better I treated her. She says "sometimes love just isn't enough" and thats something I have felt my whole life. I'm tired of chasing happiness, its extremely fleeting and the accounts in my life for happiness seem like rounding errors in the grand scheme of things. The love of my life doesn't want me and I have no connection with my dead, drug addicted mother, my abusive father or my distant brother. I have no light in my life and I don't see the point in continuing. I think being left by the one person to show me the comforts of true love has ruined me because I thought we were "forever" but I failed. Whats the point of pressing on miserable at 25 still holding out hope that one day it will get better? Nothing lasts and misery seems to persist more than anything in my life. I'm tired and part of me wants everyone to move on even the love of my life of nearly 6 years that can't even stand the thought of me. Whats worse is when we broke up I was emotionally stunted. I didn't cry and she had such a hard time and now she will never come back because being away from me will ease her mind and make her feel less trapped by someone abusive. I was abused heavily as a child and I know it is no excuse but I know how she feels and my death will free her in a way. The pain won't last forever and she will love again and I will no longer have to endure.

 

[Unicorns]

Because they'd be happier without me ruining their lives.

 

[SosoruzeDosukoi]

Because ultimately they're not the ones living my life. They don't have to spend every day with my mind and my failures. Some of my friends and family can make life more tolerable at times, but they have their lives and I have mine. While I wouldn't want them to CBT, I can't expect them to stay alive for my sake if they felt suicidal.

 

[MrBigSad]

Life, was forced upon you, upon us all. If you as a living being make the decision to end your life, it should not be their burden. They made you and yeah they'd be sad if you weren't here. But if they took into severe consideration that they brought a sentient being into this world, they should understand that you continuing to live is not their choice , we have the right to pull the plug, don't let people guilt trip you into staying when you don't want to.

 

[HowNowBrownCow]

I don't want to. I didn't ask to be here and I don't want to be here. Ultimately, it's my life and I'll end it if I want to

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

The pain is too much. If they really loved me, then they would let me go.

 

[Mixo]

I've been trying to live for my partner but as she doesn't treat me that well and I feel suffocated most of the time, it's not a great reason for me to keep living. Besides, living for other people is only sustainable for so long. At the end of the day, you need enough reasons (lasting reasons) to keep living, including fulfillment, support, happiness, health, money. All the trappings of being a human in this world.

 

[Cuppatea856]

Most of my family is dead, my closest friend is dead. I have 2 friends left—but they both live 1500 miles away. I'm trying to stay alive long enough to care for my pets, because I know no one will take them because they're all seniors. One of my dogs is having a really bad time and I don't know how much longer I'll have her. Of course, she's my favorite. Just one more heartbreak to endure in this cruel world.

 

[Into The Void]

Why would you want to harm yourself if you have a loving family or dependents. I know depression or other ailments make it harder but isn't it worth fighting for them? I have no siblings or parents (I looked after my mother for years) so I don't have really close family members to worry about losing me. So why not fight for the ones you love and the ones you are leaving behind?

Many people here don't have the coping skills, mental power, empathy, even some with enough intelligence to deal with life's challenges. Everyone is different and it's not right to hold them accountable to your standards.

 

[lago]

My wife hates me. She has made it clear for 35 years that she wishes I would die. She rejected me on our wedding night and has abused me ever since.

She loves to fight with me, but there's nobody to fight for.