Why is there so much pain?

[msesis]

I don't understand.. I used to believe the world was a kind world. That there was so much to live for. But with every step I take, I lose something. No matter how hard I try, I lose every single thing I ever had the misfortune of loving. I thought the people in your life were supposed to figure it out with you. That we had a team, family, friends, humanity... But every time I went to them with a problem, they basically told me "too bad". I'm too much. A burden. For a long time I wasn't a quitter. I fought and fought and got up and tried again over and over. Until I dug out the last of my reserves and then some. Am I unlucky? I think a lot of my friends are luckier than me. But also maybe they are okay with less. They didn't fall in love with things they then lost. Is it me? Is it me? Why is there so much pain? SO much pain. I thought I had a good understanding of the world but I don't anymore.