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tiaralamb

tiaralamb

binge restrict cycle
Dec 15, 2021
25
personally i believe it's because we are all taught from a very young age that life is a gift. whether it's religious or otherwise, everyone is expected to believe that we're very lucky to be here. i think that, coupled with the widespread agreement that we are supposed to live for others more than ourselves, causes the idea that suicide is not only selfish, but a sign of ingratitude. i'm not really sure why people believe this, since literally nobody to ever live has asked to be born, but they do anyway and it leads to alot of judgement :(
 
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ARawYouth

Member
Dec 10, 2021
12
There is nothing cowardly about ctb. In fact, suicide is the one of the hardest things anyone can do. I don't believe it is selfish either since we alone are responsible for our lives. I think the topic of suicide and death in general is taboo because all living creatures are hardwired for two things: survival and breeding. Suicide kind of goes against our deepest biological programming.

Not all lives are worth living but society will never admit it. This website is a great place to speak your mind and to listen to others who are going through similar experiences. Like you said you can't have an honest conversation about suicide without becoming a social pariah or worse forcibly institutionalized.
You're so right. I've been on the brink, and I couldn't do it (obviously), otherwise I wouldn't be typing this). We are hardwired for survival, and that makes it so hard for anyone to actually do it. I used to envy those that were able to ctb, or even those I knew that died. A boy in my school was shot in a gun accident, and he has remained a hero in everyone's minds. Everyone would make posts about how amazing he was and that is exactly how he'll remain. Of course I pity him because he didn't *choose* to die, but I was also jealous because he got a way out and I didn't.
 
K

ket

Member
Dec 18, 2021
81
makes people who knew you feel guilty, frustrates people who are still stuck suffering on this rock, is a poetic way to die in a society so eager to disempower you.
 
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ARawYouth

Member
Dec 10, 2021
12
In general, people would much prefer to ignore the ugly and raw realities of pain and misery. Because if we don't acknowledge it, it must not exist.

Talking about suicide and ending a life filled with that level of pain and misery takes away the opportunity for blissful ignorance. It forces one to reconcile their intentionally oblivious outlook with the reality that sometimes a person hurts so much that ending a life is a better option than enduring it.

And that is too much for some to be willing to look at, let alone acknowledge or understand.

Just my two cents...
I really is a hard truth to swallow. Honestly if I hadn't had the life I have, then I may have been like these other people. It just makes me jealous of animals, because people will almost always put them down and think it's the right thing to do, to spare them the pain of the illness or sometimes, the behavioral issues are so severe they simply cannot have a quality of life. But when it comes to humans, who are thought of as a much more evolved species, we are socially pressured and forced into fighting for something that doesn't exist for those people. I agree treatment for mental health issues needs to be available, but when treatment doesn't work or there isn't a cure, then we should be able to decide to end our misery.
I hate how society pretends that everyone can just start fresh at any age. It is hard enough to stay afloat much less restart your life. I think it is a good idea to explore different possibilities before you ctb. But after a certain point you kind of get an understanding of how life works.

I don't think there is any shame in calling it quits early. After all death is something we all have to face eventually. Only you can make this decision, whatever it may be. It is definitely hard though.
Exactly, they act like you can just wipe the slate clean at any time. Like... no. If I could just erase my trauma, debt, bills, CPTSD and god knows what else, don't you think people WOULD? I've moved across the country a few times to "start over" and at first it sort of works, but then it all catches up to you. really, I'm only here because I have a duty to my dog to care for him. I don't want him thinking I just abandoned him because he wasn't good enough, poor dog has been through two other homes before I got him at a year old. And I don't really trust anyone else to fully care for him properly, so yeah.
These are my thoughts exactly. Like word for word. Thank you. Someone gets it. (Well all you lovely people on this site get it.)
I think it's because it's scary for people who've never had major or traumatic issues to admit that things can get so bad you want to CTB. They want to pretend it doesn't happen so they don't have to fear about it happening to them. And yeah, that's exactly the thing about therapists. You can never be totally honest or you'll have your freedom and rights taken away from you. Fucking hell.
I wish there were therapists specifically for those of us considering death. Someone who could counsel us about the various treatment options, and if those didn't work or the person really wanted to die, they could give us a dose of the pink juice. Like, make sure people aren't suffering from curable depression and only having tunnel vision, but let those of us who truly have thought it out and want to end our suffering die in a dignified and humane way.
Because society needs people to keep breeding and keep buying things
Ah, another thing to blame on capitalism. It really is the worst possible thing, isn't it?
Your question has a baked in assumption that doesn't always hold: medically assisted suicide is widely supported in many Western countries. Suicide is not always frowned upon. Though one can debate if suicide among the terminally ill is really suicide, any more than jumping out of a burning building is.
True, but in most cases that I am aware of, the person has to be seriously and terminally ill before they are allowed to do so. And in the US at least, it is still extremely controversial and frowned upon by many people.
 
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Feeding Pigeons

Feeding Pigeons

Warlock
Aug 5, 2021
776
Actually suicide is not forbidden in the Bible. That rule was added later in Christianity coz so many Christians kept killing themselves to get to sky daddy.
I've heard this as well. I think suicide is frowned upon for a couple of reasons. The big one is that it "breaks the rules" so to speak. You're supposed to live and be productive for the sake of society, to pay your taxes, to leave your parents with a feeling that they've done something with their lives, to give them security that their genes are being passed on. If you kill yourself, thats a big dark blemish on the state of things. It says that your family, and society, have failed you to such a degree that death is preferrable. People like to spin it and say that the only person accountable for a suicide is the person who offed themselves, they do this to try to shirk responsibility and to deflect guilt. The reality is if someone looks at their situation, the people they have, and the future; and would rather give that all up and settle for an eternity of never existing? That says a tremendous amount about the situation, more than the person themselves. Whether its a reality or an illusion doesn't matter, because when someone is dead they can't be comforted anymore, they can't be argued with. The people around that person can't do anything about their death, all they can do is look around, and eventually, look at themselves.

I'm rambling. To try to put it simply, suicide is frowned upon because its a complete and final statement: "This is not okay." Thats why it will always be ignored and hid away. Because things would have to change if it were acknowledged.
 
T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
I've heard this as well. I think suicide is frowned upon for a couple of reasons. The big one is that it "breaks the rules" so to speak. You're supposed to live and be productive for the sake of society, to pay your taxes, to leave your parents with a feeling that they've done something with their lives, to give them security that their genes are being passed on. If you kill yourself, thats a big dark blemish on the state of things. It says that your family, and society, have failed you to such a degree that death is preferrable. People like to spin it and say that the only person accountable for a suicide is the person who offed themselves, they do this to try to shirk responsibility and to deflect guilt. The reality is if someone looks at their situation, the people they have, and the future; and would rather give that all up and settle for an eternity of never existing? That says a tremendous amount about the situation, more than the person themselves. Whether its a reality or an illusion doesn't matter, because when someone is dead they can't be comforted anymore, they can't be argued with. The people around that person can't do anything about their death, all they can do is look around, and eventually, look at themselves.

I'm rambling. To try to put it simply, suicide is frowned upon because its a complete and final statement: "This is not okay." Thats why it will always be ignored and hid away. Because things would have to change if it were acknowledged.
I understand you. But can't relate. So many people talk so philosophically about society and family and etc and all these other big concepts. It's pretty straight forward for me. Health. That's it. My family is great. I have great friends. I have hobbies (that I can only do sporadically now). I don't have the health I want. If it were just physical it might be ok, but there are neurological issues as well. No one has failed me because no one has a cure. My only crime was living in an age where médecine is not advanced enough to properly find and treat the problem. That's it. I don't want to go. I'm kicking and screaming not to go. I'm angry. I'm not old. I should be in the prime of my life. But I'm afraid of what's going to happen to my brain soon and it scares the shit out of me. I'm not depressed or have low self-esteem. I think I'm an interesting and in some ways talented person and the world will be a little worse off without me. I fucking hate it. I have so much...not even potential but actual skill and could've still done so much.
It feels like being asked to leave the party early while all your mates are still living it up in there. I fucking hate the universe.
 
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wCvML2

Member
Nov 15, 2021
455
I think that nowadays suicide is frowned upon by a lot of people only when they percive the suicidal person not having a "good enough" reason to kill themselves. When someone is terminally ill or really old - people wouldn't be neccesarily disapproving of it.

Suicide among people who are still relatively young and healthy is frowned upon more harshly because it shows that just anyone could choose to opt out of living anytime they want, and it could potentially bring up the rates of suicide attempts.

But anyway, I would still very much like to live in a world like in The Giver, that anyone who had enough of life would be given the option to be euthanized if they wanted to.
 
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T

Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
I think that nowadays suicide is frowned upon by a lot of people only when they percive the suicidal person not having a "good enough" reason to kill themselves. When someone is terminally ill or really old - people wouldn't be neccesarily disapproving of it.

Suicide among people who are still relatively young and healthy is frowned upon more harshly because it shows that just anyone could choose to opt out of living anytime they want, and it could potentially bring up that rates of suicide attempts.

But anyway, I would still very much like to live in a world like in The Giver, that anyone who had enough of life would be given the option to be euthanized if they wanted to.
Yes and the 'good enough reasons' keep deminishing because people who haven't had major physical or mental health issues severely overestimate what current medicine can do so they don't see health problems or mental health problems as a good enough reason under the mistaken idea you can just pop a pill and be on your merry way.
 
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Feeding Pigeons

Feeding Pigeons

Warlock
Aug 5, 2021
776
I understand you. But can't relate. So many people talk so philosophically about society and family and etc and all these other big concepts. It's pretty straight forward for me. Health. That's it. My family is great. I have great friends. I have hobbies (that I can only do sporadically now). I don't have the health I want. If it were just physical it might be ok, but there are neurological issues as well. No one has failed me because no one has a cure. My only crime was living in an age where médecine is not advanced enough to properly find and treat the problem. That's it. I don't want to go. I'm kicking and screaming not to go. I'm angry. I'm not old. I should be in the prime of my life. But I'm afraid of what's going to happen to my brain soon and it scares the shit out of me. I'm not depressed or have low self-esteem. I think I'm an interesting and in some ways talented person and the world will be a little worse off without me. I fucking hate it. I have so much...not even potential but actual skill and could've still done so much.
Oh yes, you and I have radically different reasons for suicidality. We're night and day.
It feels like being asked to leave the party early while all your mates are still living it up in there. I fucking hate the universe.
See, I feel like I'm being asked to stay at the party when I never wanted to be at it in the first place.
 
K

ket

Member
Dec 18, 2021
81
I understand you. But can't relate. So many people talk so philosophically about society and family and etc and all these other big concepts. It's pretty straight forward for me. Health. That's it. My family is great. I have great friends. I have hobbies (that I can only do sporadically now). I don't have the health I want. If it were just physical it might be ok, but there are neurological issues as well. No one has failed me because no one has a cure. My only crime was living in an age where médecine is not advanced enough to properly find and treat the problem. That's it. I don't want to go. I'm kicking and screaming not to go. I'm angry. I'm not old. I should be in the prime of my life. But I'm afraid of what's going to happen to my brain soon and it scares the shit out of me. I'm not depressed or have low self-esteem. I think I'm an interesting and in some ways talented person and the world will be a little worse off without me. I fucking hate it. I have so much...not even potential but actual skill and could've still done so much.
It feels like being asked to leave the party early while all your mates are still living it up in there. I fucking hate the universe.
fuck dude, you have my absolute deepest sympathies. this is heartbreaking to read, i wish so much better for you. sorry, i know it's trite and pointless to say, but i really hope there's something that can help out there.
 
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Zotz101

Member
Dec 19, 2021
42
I think that nowadays suicide is frowned upon by a lot of people only when they percive the suicidal person not having a "good enough" reason to kill themselves. When someone is terminally ill or really old - people wouldn't be neccesarily disapproving of it.

Suicide among people who are still relatively young and healthy is frowned upon more harshly because it shows that just anyone could choose to opt out of living anytime they want, and it could potentially bring up the rates of suicide attempts.

But anyway, I would still very much like to live in a world like in The Giver, that anyone who had enough of life would be given the option to be euthanized if they wanted to.
Yeah, I agree. I have heard things like "there is such a rare opportunity for you to live" or "in comparison to others you have it so good" and that's why we shouldn't kill ourselves. Yet, I don't think non-suicidal people realise just how much being suicidal is at the forefront of our minds! I've never had a terminal illness, but I wholeheartedly feel my depression is a terminal condition. I mean, I have everything I could have ever asked for yet if I had access to a gun I'd shoot myself in a heartbeat.

People think that for young people "it gets better" but really in my experience is "it's only a little less shit for maybe a few weeks" or hell even "it's only a little less shit for even a moment." But, something always makes it come back again. A never ending cycle of despair that'll last until we wrinkle and become eligible to be euthanised due to terminal illness!
 
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Ta555

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2021
1,317
fuck dude, you have my absolute deepest sympathies. this is heartbreaking to read, i wish so much better for you. sorry, i know it's trite and pointless to say, but i really hope there's something that can help out there.
Thank you for the kind words. In holding in for now. We'll see for how long. My rope and duct tape are all stowed away and ready to go just in case. Or my bathtub if I'm not able to set up the rope. Sorry, that's morbid but it's life I guess.
 
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Zotz101

Member
Dec 19, 2021
42
Thank you for the kind words. In holding in for now. We'll see for how long. My rope and duct tape are all stowed away and ready to go just in case. Or my bathtub if I'm not able to set up the rope. Sorry, that's morbid but it's life I guess.
Hoping for the best for you ❤️
 
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