Why is male virginity and loneliness taboo in society?

[motel rooms]

So many hurtful comments in this thread, so much unnecessary venom... It's incredibly sad that so many people seem to be incapable of nuanced thinking...

 

[Mashedout]

Maybe the "genetically less desirable males" could, idk, find a "genetically less desirable female"

Hypergamy, the females still hold more value. It isn't equal. She can find a mate outside of her league so to say while the males have much more difficulty.

 

[...]

Hypergamy, the females still hold more value. It isn't equal. She can find a mate outside of her league so to say while the males have much more difficulty.

that's complete bs. hypergamy is about intellect, people on this thread are talking here about looks. and in that department u see guys constantly punching above their league whilst u hardly see women with someone so obviously better looking than them. and it's this way because society has conditioned a difference between the genders where 1) guys hold way more value to looks above other qualities whilst women the opposite and 2) patriarchal dominance has meant this imbalance in priority has put way more pressure on women to actively work on becoming more attractive in comparison to the pressure on guys to look better (just think the scale of male vs female beauty markets) which creates the results of 3) there being a much larger pool of good-looking women than good-looking guys. all three of the reasons being why when you look at the average straight couple - devoid of the bias of ur own sexuality - the woman is almost always the hotter one. the least attractive guy in the world could have an average looking girlfriend who is way less attractive than the most attractive looking guy in the world however the most attractive looking guy in the world would never pick the average looking girlfriend and instead his girlfriend is also as if not more attractive.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

I kinda feel that way. I never really share about my virginity or lack of relationships, but based on how people treat me, especially women (save a few), they can tell what I am. Of course, I try to get by. I take care of myself, and I try to be the best version of myself, even develop myself from scratch and finding my own strength, but I fear that isn't enough. Is this the life I have to settle for? No… I know others won't. So, why should I? One way or another, I will be on the same level as them, if not higher. And should I fail, I'll win regardless.

Just because of my lack of experience doesn't make me less of a man than those who have had experience, and I deserve as much as them. Why? BECAUSE I WAS BORN HERE!!!

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

Coming from a 25 year old virgin male, I just think many of us men today are really lost, unfit, and just downright unappealing to the women, that's the hard truth. Like some have mentioned in this thread, women are now independent and they now have much MUCH more options to choose from. I think a lot of the problems we have today with disgruntled men (or the whole masculinity crisis or whatever) around the world is due to the fact that society has changed (progressed) too quickly for most men to adjust. Beyond just the whole dating/ mating thing, Females are still in the process of breaking some of the chains and they're in this whole equality/ feminism euphoria (revenge mode), and many men will continue to struggle to adjust as they face ever more competition from females in opportunities, resources, and achievements. Who knows, maybe females will tip all the scales against males one day. However, I think things will eventually stabilize and the whole hostility will end. Sooner or later, males will learn to adjust and learn to compete better in this more competitive new world, and perhaps that means some will learn to thrive by themselves without female partners, and maybe by then this current brutal and competitive pool of males fighting over each other and crying for female affection will dwindle and pacify to the point where females' current advantage equalizes.

I truly think we humans are in this very strange and weird transitional period, where the old molds that have molded our predecessors for thousands of years are gone, along with the whole polishing and packaging process. We are heading into the unknown without any guide or precedence. As a result, we are probably the most lost and unfit group of people in history, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and societally. Yet we have the highest technology and wealth in history thus far. I really pray that one day in the future, in whatever form it might be, that all people can finally break free from the bounds of birth circumstances, be it sex, race, health, family, intelligence, and etc. Maybe then we can finally stop judging ourselves by the color of our skins, features of faces, the shapes of our bodies, or the size of our booties and etc. Maybe then we can finally focus on our individualities and focus on the inner stuff, the real stuff, the things that make us truly equal yet individual. Sadly, I don't see this world moving towards that direction any time soon. How many of us have suffered and passed through life with potentials and dreams unfulfilled because of the heavy chains of birth circumstances? This universe is so big, and existence itself is so mysterious, and yet all we can think about is sex and money.

 

[Harriet]

Coming from a 25 year old virgin male, I just think many of us men today are really lost, unfit, and just downright unappealing to the women, that's the hard truth. Like some have mentioned in this thread, women are now independent and they now have much MUCH more options to choose from. I think a lot of the problems we have today with disgruntled men (or the whole masculinity crisis or whatever) around the world is due to the fact that society has changed (progressed) too quickly for most men to adjust. Beyond just the whole dating/ mating thing, Females are still in the process of breaking some of the chains and they're in this whole equality/ feminism euphoria (revenge mode), and many men will continue to struggle to adjust as they face ever more competition from females in opportunities, resources, and achievements. Who knows, maybe females will tip all the scales against males one day. However, I think things will eventually stabilize and the whole hostility will end. Sooner or later, males will learn to adjust and learn to compete better in this more competitive new world, and perhaps that means some will learn to thrive by themselves without female partners, and maybe by then this current brutal and competitive pool of males fighting over each other and crying for female affection will dwindle and pacify to the point where females' current advantage equalizes.

I truly think we humans are in this very strange and weird transitional period, where the old molds that have molded our predecessors for thousands of years are gone, along with the whole polishing and packaging process. We are heading into the unknown without any guide or precedence. As a result, we are probably the most lost and unfit group of people in history, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and societally. Yet we have the highest technology and wealth in history thus far. I really pray that one day in the future, in whatever form it might be, that all people can finally break free from the bounds of birth circumstances, be it sex, race, health, family, intelligence, and etc. Maybe then we can finally stop judging ourselves by the color of our skins, features of faces, the shapes of our bodies, or the size of our booties and etc. Maybe then we can finally focus on our individualities and focus on the inner stuff, the real stuff, the things that make us truly equal yet individual. Sadly, I don't see this world moving towards that direction any time soon. How many of us have suffered and passed through life with potentials and dreams unfulfilled because of the heavy chains of birth circumstances? This universe is so big, and existence itself is so mysterious, and yet all we can think about is sex and money.

Sad as it is, I don't think society will EVER stop judging in the basis of physical beauty or lack of it.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Too lazy to post anything new, lol.

The word incel barely has a "meaning". It means very, very little. Being an incel does not mean you agree with "blackpill" ideology. Most incels (maybe 90% or more) have never heard of it and a lot of incels don't speak English. All prison inmates that don't start "busting cheeks" are incels, for example. You could be the most anti-"blackpill"/"incel-ideology"/etc person on Earth, you could think that it's harder for a young woman than for a young man to get a date from Tinder and you'd still be an incel if you want (technically sex, but we are obviously talking about romance) "love" but don't have it. That's it.

I am an incel that believes that the biggest cause for inceldom are problems with social relationships, due to whatever the problem is. For me it's autism, for others it could be living in a very small village with no women, agoraphobia or being incarcerated. I also believe that your looks will matter to some extent but are not of importance when compared to never meeting any women at all due to not having a social life.

I believe that female incels exist. Straight women in prison and women that are so malnurished so that they don't have any biological resources for sex/romance are two solid examples.

The "ideology" (believing some statements are factually correct in certain contexts), from what I understand (been a while since I read about this, so might seem a bit boomer here) is just basically that some guys are fucked. There's nothing hateful about that, but it's more or less a natural law that gathering young involuntarily celebate men together won't exactly produce an atmosphere akin to a tea-party for the elderly.

I think people tend to over-simplify this whole thing. There are a bunch of randomness and it's not really an ordered system at all (where the most adapted to shitciety and/or the most genetically fit get 100% of the women/men to choose from or pump and dump). Someone happened to meet someone else and it worked out. Someone never met anyone and killed himself. There are many factors to why some have partners and some never do. Gender ratio, autism, intelligence, looks, status, social skills, physical proximities, political beliefs, values, personality, diseases, psychological makeup, makeup, height, dark triad traits, economy, genes and environment, time period in which one is born, superficial displays, what mood someone happens to be in at a certain point in time, dating websites'/apps' algorithms, wealth, connections, coping strategies, etc, etc, etc.

It's not just the women preferring to get passed around by the top guys under the guise of "serial monogamy" that create a harem-structure--the entire shit-fucked thing is one giant harem. Have money? Get more for free. Have a job? Get a better one easily. No money? Lose what little you have. No job? Stay without one.

In the specific case of dating I don't see how that's supposed to be a fun thing. It's just getting sized up by superficial standards in hopes of continuing a chain of serial monogamy, the relationship will last for an average of 2 years.

Heart doesn't always remain, hence why all of these women are getting physically/emotionally/sexually abused "out of the blue"(?) after some time into a relationship. Problem might be that we do relationships too fast, no one waits until they've spent five years with someone to start having sex. Imo, the culture is way too fast-paced for our own good.

Serial monogamy is also far from optimal. Better might be a culture where it's commonplace to spend a lot of time one-on-one with several potential partners and to only start having sex after one person clearly stands out as being more compatible over the course of a few years. Jumping in the sack will bond people with each other emotionally, and may cloud judgement. After one or two breakups I'm guessing the ability to pair-bond without the (extra) hormonal intervention is reduces to ashes. No one is special anymore.

 

[Dawncie]

that's complete bs. hypergamy is about intellect, people on this thread are talking here about looks. and in that department u see guys constantly punching above their league whilst u hardly see women with someone so obviously better looking than them. and it's this way because society has conditioned a difference between the genders where 1) guys hold way more value to looks above other qualities whilst women the opposite and 2) patriarchal dominance has meant this imbalance in priority has put way more pressure on women to actively work on becoming more attractive in comparison to the pressure on guys to look better (just think the scale of male vs female beauty markets) which creates the results of 3) there being a much larger pool of good-looking women than good-looking guys. all three of the reasons being why when you look at the average straight couple - devoid of the bias of ur own sexuality - the woman is almost always the hotter one. the least attractive guy in the world could have an average looking girlfriend who is way less attractive than the most attractive looking guy in the world however the most attractive looking guy in the world would never pick the average looking girlfriend and instead his girlfriend is also as if not more attractive.

where do you get this information? because all the men I know date women much uglier than they are. In fact, men are so needy by women in general that it's easy for them to date someone uglier, so they dont get judged as lone virgin by others. Women on the other hand will always prefer men of the same level or higher( on the most cases) , no Wonder a bunch of women out there dont even have a job and live on their husbands' money

 

[Maaizr]

Too lazy to post anything new, lol.

Dead ass bro, lmfaoo this whole thread such a waste of air ☠

 

[Chinaski]

where do you get this information? because all the men I know date women much uglier than they are. In fact, men are so needy by women in general that it's easy for them to date someone uglier, so they dont get judged as lone virgin by others. Women on the other hand will always prefer men of the same level or higher( on the most cases) , no Wonder a bunch of women out there dont even have a job and live on their husbands' money

If the issue is that you feel you're forced to accept a woman you perceive to be much uglier than you are then frankly the problem ultimately lies with you

 

[Rayzieka]

I'm not really sure why anyone cares about virginity... Doesn't it have its ups and downs?
If you're a virgin then whoever finds themselves attracted to you gets to have a unique experience with you right...

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm not really sure why anyone cares about virginity... Doesn't it have its ups and downs?
If you're a virgin then whoever finds themselves attracted to you gets to have a unique experience with you right...

Sure let me just find everyone who's attracted to me.

Oh wait…

 

[Rayzieka]

Sure let me just find everyone who's attracted to me.

Oh wait…

lol well ya never know

 

[Dawncie]

If the issue is that you feel you're forced to accept a woman you perceive to be much uglier than you are then frankly the problem ultimately lies with you

I didn't mean it

 

[Laowaiboss]

Like the first reply said, because men are expendable, society doesn't care about us, never did, never will, for biological reasons mostly.

Even if there was only one man left on Earth and all the other people were women, he and his descendants could repopulate the world, genetic disorders (inbreeding) would become a non-issue within 2 generations.

If there was only one woman left, humanity would be effectively doomed.

Now I don't blame women for the way things are, but society, the people in power irregardless of their gender don't care about men because of this biological fact.

Men are expected to work themselves to death for the system, to maintain society, women aren't. Men are expected to be a net gain for the system in terms of they pay in (taxes mostly) vs what they take (handouts, benefits, etc...), most women are deliberately or not a net loss for the system (they take more than they pay in) and no one calls them out on it.

It's nothing new, throughout the ages men have always been expendable, they were sent to the front line to be canon fodder during wars, they worked themselves to death in fields and factories, they died protecting women from wild animals or disasters.

But once again, I don't blame women for it, it's a biological reality, we are programmed to protect women and children even at the cost of our own life, and the people in power always rather sacrifice men than women.

Yes, it is disgusting, but unless we manage to overcome our biological drive, it won't change, ever.

 

[Maaizr]

lol well ya never know

lmao this clown

 

[Rayzieka]

lmao this clown

what....

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

lol well ya never know

I've been never knowing for over a decade it seems.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

"sick depraved psyche" , "neurologically speaking"(whatever that means)
Incomplete yes, But straight out wrong? That's you whining with excuses for your pathetic self as people like you wants to normalize the idea that they truly got no fighting chance and men acting on their biological drive are "dehumanized"
You have got no idea what actual "humanity" is aside from what you have been told on your place, You obviously hate anyone that does not give a crap about your feelings and handles reality without giving random people that stink of negativity an opening to their hearts just so that they can start reflecting their personal issues on those poor men that tried to help.
How can someone complain about not being a woman by being born a male in the first place as women have many advantages when it comes to cheap resources and positions but their expiration date is close to the date on which they realize that they have one and they live their youth worried about it which you did never give a crap to try and imagine how painful its to them.
By the way at least 70% failure people on earth doesn't mean that you have to be a failure but there's no problem with being a failure as long as you don't hate successful people for getting the benefits of being what they are.

sick and depraved neurologically speaking.. I can't believe you don't understand that. psychopaths for exmpl have certain neurological paths/parts of their brain fire up so many times over time that it's easier and easier for them continue the same behaviour, and harder to do anything that is different from what their brain is "trained" to do. on a physical level.
in extreme cases the area that isn't used is so hard to access that it borders on neurological damage, there's a part of brain associated with each behaviour, hello? how can you not get that..?

"sick depraved psyche" , "neurologically speaking"(whatever that means)
Incomplete yes, But straight out wrong? That's you whining with excuses for your pathetic self as people like you wants to normalize the idea that they truly got no fighting chance and men acting on their biological drive are "dehumanized"
You have got no idea what actual "humanity" is aside from what you have been told on your place, You obviously hate anyone that does not give a crap about your feelings and handles reality without giving random people that stink of negativity an opening to their hearts just so that they can start reflecting their personal issues on those poor men that tried to help.
How can someone complain about not being a woman by being born a male in the first place as women have many advantages when it comes to cheap resources and positions but their expiration date is close to the date on which they realize that they have one and they live their youth worried about it which you did never give a crap to try and imagine how painful its to them.
By the way at least 70% failure people on earth doesn't mean that you have to be a failure but there's no problem with being a failure as long as you don't hate successful people for getting the benefits of being what they are.

so when a man looses his job and divorces and society decides that because he's a man he should stfu about it and just keep rolling like nothing happened and not only be cool and stoic about it but also be outgoing with his buddies and get over it like now, like already be over it before it even started that's ok and it's a biological drive for him to do that?
why, because we used to live in caves?
we live in cities now.
I won't answer your other arguments cause their baseless.

 

[The Abyss]

This all the opposite of what I always thought. These days I avoid society as much as possible and really don't keep track on what's going on but -. It always appeared to me that women are judge WAY more harshly on their looks then men are. Even today when looking on TV you will see an ugly, old flappy necked man reporting the news but the women are always at least half way attractive. Women are held to much higher standards (looks wise) then men. If a man is short and ugly he can still get women if he has some good qualities. I couldn't care less what a man looks like as long and he is a good person,, doesn't smell or something and has a nice personality and other good qualities and I'm not an unattractive woman. If I had to choose between a gorgeous guy who is an asshole and treats me like garbage and an ugly, short nice guy I wouldn't think twice about choosing the ugly guy.

Ok I'll tell ya what, do a test on tinder or something similar. Two profiles, one as what you would consider an unattractive female & the other as an unattractive male with similar stats otherwise & see what amount of likes & messages each has after a week then if you're feeling compelled; do the same but with 2 attractive profiles; you may be surprised.

It's better if you do this yourself, as that way there's no bias; influence or angles attached by a third party.

Ugly/short men are not stigmatised immediately as "dangerous incels", the only way a dangerous incel is identified is by their deeds, for example the self-described incel who recently went on a gun rampage in the UK.

I would add here that much of the criticism about inceldom within this thread is not related to any notion of danger, real or assumed, but legitimately points out that inceldom in itself is utterly self defeating - if you think getting a blow job is tough going when you're short and ugly, that's probably fair enough, but spending time online giving misogyny a veneer of pseudo-science is the one thing I'd say puts women off the most.

Uh huh, why is it then that attractive guys seem to be constantly abusers in relationships & some ugly or small dude will be called out as a creep for effectively doing nothing.

If you put two guys side by side with different facial aesthetics & heights, you're telling me they'll both be treated equally & the assumptions will be balanced?

You can have 2 guys doing the exact same thing & one will not be a problem & the other is problematic, depending on who is doing it. You;ll also see women are treated differently if they're conventionally attractive or using makeup well vs those that are not.

A huge hulking 6'10 man & a 5'2 man with no mass are gonna illicit the same reactions & inner thoughts from strangers yeah, lol.

 

[Chinaski]

At no point have l suggested that ugly men stand an equal chance of getting laid as a good-looking man,which is bad news for the high number of people on this forum who think the only way a man can be validated is by his ability to procure sex on demand from highly attractive but also subservient women.

Yes, good looking people have an advantage, but so do smart people, so do people with a good sense of humour, so do people who are born into wealth, so do people with artistic talent, so do people with physical strength, so do people with sporting ability, whatever it is, being an ugly but nice guy means you will not finish first in a competition, but if you play to your strengths and adjust your expectations you definitely won't finish last - the guys who definitely finish last are the boorish, humourless misogynists who put off any prospective partner the second they open their mouths and spew out embittered rants about how vapid and superficial women are.

I would also argue that your profiling of the abuser type is absolutely flawed, frankly.

 

[Round Two]

I'm a pansexual woman. I've had men in my life that I was very attracted to and had strong feelings for. I'm going to ignore all the drama and address OP's question in the title of this thread.

The reason male virginity and loneliness are taboo in society is because society is built upon the patriarchy. I know that's a trigger word, but bear with me here because this isn't an attack, I promise. The patriarchy hurts everyone. If you're reading this right now--yes, even you. It affects men in a very different way, but it's still incredibly painful and hurtful. Society expects men to be made of unfeeling stone that constantly pursues the societal definition of "success"; you all know what that is already(wife, car, house, kids, etc. etc.), but that's complete bullshit. You don't have to measure up to those expectations, no matter what anyone else tells you. You're more than that. You're more than just a walking penis whose sole purpose in life is to get off. You have feelings, you have desires, you have passions, you have convictions, and a whole slew of other things that make you who you are. You're a human being, and that makes you complex and beautiful no matter what.

If the person you're attracted to only cares about looks and doesn't understand anything I just said above, then they're not worth your time. Men, women, anyone. The search for someone else starts with understanding yourself. Look in the mirror and examine who you really are and then show that to people. The people who like you for you will end up in your life. But, if all you see of yourself is ugliness then that's all you're showing anyone else. Each and every one of you are more than your looks.

 

[Disappointered]

A lot of societies are unfair in different ways but I don''t think I'll hold my breath until a female incel does a spree shooting nor will I be surprised that more spree shootings occur due to sexually and emotionally deprived young men. That's not what I would call progress.

 

[NightShift]

Personal charm *does* have a lot to do with it. I know this shatters the notion that the dominant matriarchy are out to get you but my main experience of online inceldom is of sad little angry blokes with zero sense of humour, a low opinion of women generally and a difficulty with expressing independent thought and this is absolutely unattractive by definition. When your personality stinks the fucking place out it really doesn't matter if you're ugly or beautiful, people will tend to avoid.

If that were true there wouldn't be so many good-looking assholes with a girl on their arm. Get real.

 

[steviewonder]

Because male problems aren't taken as seriously by society. I've been alone and friendless pretty much my whole life and I'm nearly 23. Because I'm a guy who's at the bottom of the hierarchy everyone treats me like shit . Even the women. It's so upsetting because my cousins get bare pussy yet I'm completely alone. They don't even like me ahaha

No one likes being around a man that is emasculated(ex: needy, goalless)
That's just how evolution works and its perfect the way its, whats not perfect is society trying to emasculate every man that exist into thinking that they should be complaining rather than facing hell and standing victorious in order to get what they think that they deserve
Love/Desire are not free of charge and the fact that you don't realize this is why you complain about it.

Dunno why people are getting angry. They're in denial. Of course it's the truth

 

[Chinaski]

If that were true there wouldn't be so many good-looking assholes with a girl on their arm. Get real.

Good-looking assholes will always get a girl "on their arm", I've never denied that, but it's curious how you describe women as a possession in this way.

 

[Round Two]

Because male problems aren't taken as seriously by society. I've been alone and friendless pretty much my whole life and I'm nearly 23. Because I'm a guy who's at the bottom of the hierarchy everyone treats me like shit . Even the women. It's so upsetting because my cousins get bare pussy yet I'm completely alone. They don't even like me ahaha

Dunno why people are getting angry. They're in denial. Of course it's the truth

Couldn't agree more that problems guys face aren't taken seriously. I think the two biggest ones are what guys are feeling emotionally, and rape/sexual assault that happens to them.

However, the real crux of the problem in most cases I see about this topic is that a lot of men who are adult virgins truly believe that they are entitled to "pussy". And that's what's so offputting about the whole thing; it's what makes it so people on the outside can't really have a conversation with you. So, it can never get better. Like, it's perfectly natural to be lonely, upset, or even mad that you can't seem to connect with someone in a meaningful way. I've felt like that tons of times and it sucks ass. But, putting the responsibility of those feelings on all women and some men who've literally never even met you is just antagonistic as fuck. It's generalizing. It's saying that only you and other men like you can feel that way about being lonely, and it's simply not true. I've met plenty of women who feel like they can't make a meaningful connection and sick and fucking tired of those doucey assholes making them miserable. You could immediately have some common ground there If you tried to make friends with them first instead of looking at us all like fuck-toys on legs that you deserve to fuck.

None of this is an attack if that's not clear. This is just my personal perspective as a woman on the outside looking in.

 

[WonderingSoul]

I feel as though this issue comes from mostly society itself. We don't need labels like virgins, simps and incels; calling lonely men by these names solves nothing. Another reason why male loneliness is taboo is probably because of evolution since we are mammals aren't meant to be alone. Its a combination of both evolution and society, but we could improve and not make it so taboo by acceptance, that there are lonely men out there due to different circumstances. Resources can be the first step for progress.

 

[Round Two]

Also, for the record, if you're legit just lonely and want a friend, you're welcome to hit up my mailbox on here whenever. It's not gonna be anything more than that, but I take friendship seriously, so I'll always get back to you when I'm able.

 

[Elegy]

Pussy is easier to score than ever before in world history. In 2022, I don't want to hear any of you guys saying you want to kill yourselves bc you can not get Laid. That is a lame bullshit reason to die.