Why is male virginity and loneliness taboo in society?

[Bayer]

I am 20 years old and I am a gay virgin male. considers me to be good looking... I hate myself for being a virgin but I can't give myself to someone, I have many psychological barriers.

 

[Chinaski]

You are completely delusional. Just more and more bullshit to justify your hate.

What a pityful existence

See, this proves rather than disproves my point tbh.

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

Personal charm *does* have a lot to do with it. I know this shatters the notion that the dominant matriarchy are out to get you but my main experience of online inceldom is of sad little angry blokes with zero sense of humour, a low opinion of women generally and a difficulty with expressing independent thought and this is absolutely unattractive by definition. When your personality stinks the fucking place out it really doesn't matter if you're ugly or beautiful, people will tend to avoid.

Hi, I want to ask you something: do you think that an inexperienced but cultured man, with a friendly and self-taught personality, can attract any woman or, because he is a virgin, would he be discarded? (this man would be me).
I am asking this because you seem to have experience in this subject.

 

[Sittichmutter]

Good looks are nothing when compared to intelligence, humor, kindness and good manners. A beautiful inside glows much stronger than a beautiful outside.

 

[Chinaski]

Hi, I want to ask you something: do you think that an inexperienced but cultured man, with a friendly and self-taught personality, can attract any woman or, because he is a virgin, would he be discarded? (this man would be me).
I am asking this because you seem to have experience in this subject.

I don't think any man can attract *any* woman, but a woman, certainly. Nobody would be discarded on an assumed lack of sexual experience imo.

One thing which really sticks out from these incel threads is that the issue is presented less as one of loneliness, isolation, solitude experienced through this rejection, but a tightly-wound fury because nobody will suck their dick, as if the sum total of any meaningful relationship is sex. Having plenty of sex for the sake of it does not make anyone a more wholesome and rounded human being,fwiw.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Great way to avoid the question

It's about ugly males and ugly males only ("personal charm" or whatever other bullshit has nothing to do with it). Everything you said only applies to good looking or at least average men, ugly men have always been left to rot alone, seen as nothing more than slaves unworthy of basic human rights only because they were born with the wrong genes, no matter the place, the time or the setting. The thing you call patriarchy is merely an invention to justify what is by all means a genocide, and the fact that you think that asking to be treated like every other person is somehow misoginy tells a lot about you

I know plenty of "ugly" guys who date up(women way out of their league). It's not just about looks. Of course looks help, cause that's what attracts in the first place. But understanding female psychology and having a decent personality/sense of humor and other traits can make up for losing part of the genetic lottery

 

[Lostandlooking]

This is a harsh world. I don't have any clever insights. But I can understand the pain. Not everyone gets to have a relationhip or sex. Even decent guys. Biology is a very strong thing, and some people get excluded from the relationship game. Which is a HUGE part of the human experience. We each live in our own private hell. I wish thing could be different somehow.

 

[Fthis]

Personal charm *does* have a lot to do with it. I know this shatters the notion that the dominant matriarchy are out to get you but my main experience of online inceldom is of sad little angry blokes with zero sense of humour, a low opinion of women generally and a difficulty with expressing independent thought and this is absolutely unattractive by definition. When your personality stinks the fucking place out it really doesn't matter if you're ugly or beautiful, people will tend to avoid.

For sure. No one is being oppressed for not looking attractive, obviously if they are severly obese with some type of facial deformity, sociaty will unfortunately treat a person differently, but I have never had a good experience with anyone who calls themselves an incel. Believe it or not, most people care about personality and humor, and it can make a person's overall attractiveness seem like

 

[Dawncie]

I know plenty of "ugly" guys who date up(women way out of their league). It's not just about looks. Of course looks help, cause that's what attracts in the first place. But understanding female psychology and having a decent personality/sense of humor and other traits can make up for losing part of the genetic lottery

even our personality was heavily influenced by the genetic lottery. Much of our behavior does not depend on us, but on the environment we grew up in, the way our brain is organized, and the treatment we received from people etc etc. Free Will is fucking illusion

 

[PeacefulTonic]

even our personality was heavily influenced by the genetic lottery. Much of our behavior does not depend on us, but on the environment we grew up in, the way our brain is organized, and the treatment we received from people etc etc. Free Will is fucking illusion

That could be an excuse. I didn't win the genetic lottery with personality either. I grew up ugly, with almost no friends, socially awkward, monotonous voice, boring. I would've been labeled as a "nice guy" or in these days, an incel.

Once I realized that sulking and wallowing in self pity was getting me nowhere, I read online about pickup, and learned more about female psychology. "The game" as many would call it. I worked on myself for years, and it became much easier to get with women I desired. You gotta put in the work to get what you want

 

[...]

i am unattractive, have crippling anxiety, have no friends and i could still be able to go on tinder right now and arrange a hookup. you guys think that women have this totally different outlook to casual sex that guys do when in fact they get as horny and will too not feel ashamed in having low standards for one night. literally all u have to do is be honest.

the problem is actually falling in love. sex doesn't fill the void in ur life.

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

i am unattractive, have crippling anxiety, have no friends and i could still be able to go on tinder right now and arrange a hookup. you guys think that women have this totally different outlook to casual sex that guys do when in fact they get as horny and will too not feel ashamed in having low standards for one night. literally all u have to do is be honest.

the problem is actually falling in love. sex doesn't fill the void in ur life.

I'm ugly, no friends and with severe anxiety, I've tried what you're talking about and it didn't work well. I don't think it's that simple.
And maybe I didn't have a good experience because I live in a small town, that's a big influencing factor.

 

[Marktheghost]

Good looks are nothing when compared to intelligence, humor, kindness and good manners. A beautiful inside glows much stronger than a beautiful outside.

And yet even having all those things doesn't stop me being lonely! And even my looks aren't bad; they're about average I think. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong!

 

[The Abyss]

Because unattractive or short men are universally hated & stigmatised with "oh muh dangerous incel" rhetoric yet the majority of assaults on women come at the hand of guys they've hooked up with; essentially guys that don't have a problem getting dates.

Each woman can produce a child & you only need one penis for the job so the intrinsic value is miles apart.

 

[Elegy]

Incelish tone, OP. Listen. I went 21 long fuckin Years without an ounce of love or romance. And 5 years straight without sex. That is Hard Time. No pun intended. But, the reason was... I was working long hours. And on the road, traveling for my company. No time or energy to invest in seeking LTR. Perhaps that is your problem as well?

 

[Dawncie]

That could be an excuse. I didn't win the genetic lottery with personality either. I grew up ugly, with almost no friends, socially awkward, monotonous voice, boring. I would've been labeled as a "nice guy" or in these days, an incel.

Once I realized that sulking and wallowing in self pity was getting me nowhere, I read online about pickup, and learned more about female psychology. "The game" as many would call it. I worked on myself for years, and it became much easier to get with women I desired. You gotta put in the work to get what you want

You don't know what I'm up against, my problems, or anything about me, so your point is null. Even if you had exactly my problems it would still be biased to compare you to me, as there is such a thing called state of mind that is a completely individual trait. Just the fact that you were in a healthy enough state of mind to be able to work on yourself successfully proves you've won the genetic personality lottery better than most of us.

 

[rationalis]

I don't care whether someone has had sex, or not. Generally have on idea.

 

[Chinaski]

Because unattractive or short men are universally hated & stigmatised with "oh muh dangerous incel" rhetoric yet the majority of assaults on women come at the hand of guys they've hooked up with; essentially guys that don't have a problem getting dates.

Each woman can produce a child & you only need one penis for the job so the intrinsic value is miles apart.

Ugly/short men are not stigmatised immediately as "dangerous incels", the only way a dangerous incel is identified is by their deeds, for example the self-described incel who recently went on a gun rampage in the UK.

I would add here that much of the criticism about inceldom within this thread is not related to any notion of danger, real or assumed, but legitimately points out that inceldom in itself is utterly self defeating - if you think getting a blow job is tough going when you're short and ugly, that's probably fair enough, but spending time online giving misogyny a veneer of pseudo-science is the one thing I'd say puts women off the most.

 

[ihatemylife]

Great way to avoid the question

It's about ugly males and ugly males only ("personal charm" or whatever other bullshit has nothing to do with it). Everything you said only applies to good looking or at least average men, ugly men have always been left to rot alone, seen as nothing more than slaves unworthy of basic human rights only because they were born with the wrong genes, no matter the place, the time or the setting. The thing you call patriarchy is merely an invention to justify what is by all means a genocide, and the fact that you think that asking to be treated like every other person is somehow misoginy tells a lot about you

An ugly guy can get girls as long as hes got money and a good job. Without money , not so much. Not saying its right or fair but its true. I see butt ugly guys all over with wives and girlfriends.

 

[Mashedout]

An ugly guy can get girls as long as hes got money and a good job. Without money , not so much. Not saying its right or fair but its true. I see butt ugly guys all over with wives and girlfriends.

and they're very likely being cheated on until the relationship explodes later. Infidelity runs rampant, check the stats. The genetically less desireable male wants life long love like everyone else, but is far less likely to achieve it regardless of compensation strategies they employ. People are animals and they want what they want, no amount of temporary social change will reprogram millions of years of subconscious biological programming.

 

[Chinaski]

and they're very likely being cheated on until the relationship explodes later. Infidelity runs rampant, check the stats. The genetically less desireable male wants life long love like everyone else, but is far less likely to achieve it regardless of compensation strategies they employ. People are animals and they want what they want, no amount of temporary social change will reprogram millions of years of subconscious biological programming.

Maybe the "genetically less desirable males" could, idk, find a "genetically less desirable female"

 

[ihatemylife]

Incelish tone, OP. Listen. I went 21 long fuckin Years without an ounce of love or romance. And 5 years straight without sex. That is Hard Time. No pun intended. But, the reason was... I was working long hours. And on the road, traveling for my company. No time or energy to invest in seeking LTR. Perhaps that is your problem as well?

Because unattractive or short men are universally hated & stigmatised with "oh muh dangerous incel" rhetoric yet the majority of assaults on women come at the hand of guys they've hooked up with; essentially guys that don't have a problem getting dates.

Each woman can produce a child & you only need one penis for the job so the intrinsic value is miles apart.

This all the opposite of what I always thought. These days I avoid society as much as possible and really don't keep track on what's going on but -. It always appeared to me that women are judge WAY more harshly on their looks then men are. Even today when looking on TV you will see an ugly, old flappy necked man reporting the news but the women are always at least half way attractive. Women are held to much higher standards (looks wise) then men. If a man is short and ugly he can still get women if he has some good qualities. I couldn't care less what a man looks like as long and he is a good person,, doesn't smell or something and has a nice personality and other good qualities and I'm not an unattractive woman. If I had to choose between a gorgeous guy who is an asshole and treats me like garbage and an ugly, short nice guy I wouldn't think twice about choosing the ugly guy.

 

[Elegy]

I am old guy now, and if life were fair I should have died many times over, and decades ago. But life is not fair in any sense the word. I am still alive, and here to say I definitely do Not envy younger single men. Massive pressure placed on young men to get laid, or pair bond. One of my asshole buddies I used to party with, who had GF, whereas I did not, used to sing a Todd Rundgen song to me when we 3 was getting high together, and smirk at me like I was a Loser. Whats that song title? Oh right... "We gotta get you a woman". That was decades ago. Long before I even heard the words "Beta Orbiter".

Not sure where I was going with this. Ok I did finally find love and romance, after I quit my job and finally found the time and energy to pursue women. That affair ended disastrously, as predicted and foretold in my star chart. But this isn't about Me, it is about OP wanting to die because no lover in his life or bed. And as I said, that is Incelish in tone, and guys got to ask themselves why. Maybe it is because they're working long hours. Or something else. But IMO, never a good reason to kill yourself over.

Sincerely,
Gramps Elegy

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

But IMO, never a good reason to kill yourself over.

Why don't you consider this a good reason for ctb?
I want to know more about this, because this is my main reason for ctb.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

No one likes being around a man that is emasculated(ex: needy, goalless)
That's just how evolution works and its perfect the way its, whats not perfect is society trying to emasculate every man that exist into thinking that they should be complaining rather than facing hell and standing victorious in order to get what they think that they deserve
Love/Desire are not free of charge and the fact that you don't realize this is why you complain about it.

that's not true. it's a stretch and a heinous caricature of common scientific theories lumped together; that are either incomplete or straight out wrong. i find your view so one-dimentional it's not even black and white, it's straight out fatalistic deterministic shade of shitty.
you can't view men outside of the context of the society they live in, and from where i'm standing at least 70% of all people on earth are a failure, just that men are not allowed to fail, so when they do fail once they get so much negative reinforcement (a LOT of it from other men) they tend to fall in a viscious circle of constant societal confirmation of how unmanly and unworthy they are.
women on the other hand aren't even considered contestants in this freak show, most the times, so if we loose it's okay, if we win we're the cool independent bitch mascot, the exception to the rule.
don't equate dehumanisation of human psyche to science.
true science can't even exist in a sick depraved psyche, neurologically speaking.

 

[yive]

because life is a bloody sport, competition is everywhere. nature is incredibly cruel at all levels, animals are eating each other alive. people are animals too, so there is nothing surprising in such behavior. life is also incredibly unfair, because we don't choose our appearance and genes, and then we get judged and bullied by some people for it because "YoU ArE So uGlY aNd WeiRd vIrGin FoREver HaHahaha".

if you are interested you can read about efilism, this philosophy explains the true essence of what happens in nature and what this life really is

p. s. i also want to say that there is a manipulative aspect here, because society needs children (slaves) to be born, and loneliness and virginity clearly do not contribute to this plan

 

[Chronicillness]

Another very uncontroversial thread about modern burgeoning male issues of a morbid nature, and a male loneliness epidemic, that gets instantly derided on, simply because keywords (or keywords synonymous with): "male loneliness," are automatically considered inextricably linked to radical inceldom and other forms of incel vernacular.


The irony in this thread is also hot to the touch. Many statements uttered in this thread that reek of the platitude variety (i.e. 'personality,' 'lack of ambition,' etc.) are also shamelessly co-expressed by the same person(s) alongside unironic "black pills" in the very same paragraph/thread. You just love to see it.


One of the top reasons (if not THE #1 top reason) for suicide among the men here on this forum is loneliness. To be so blasé and callous towards this topic on a suicide forum is seriously tone deaf.

 

[Chinaski]

Another very uncontroversial thread about modern burgeoning male issues of a morbid nature, and a male loneliness epidemic, that gets instantly derided on, simply because keywords (or keywords synonymous with): "male loneliness," are automatically considered inextricably linked to radical inceldom and other forms of incel vernacular.


The irony in this thread is also hot to the touch. Many statements uttered in this thread that reek of the platitude variety (i.e. 'personality,' 'lack of ambition,' etc.) are also shamelessly co-expressed by the same person(s) alongside unironic "black pills" in the very same paragraph/thread. You just love to see it.


One of the top reasons (if not THE #1 top reason) for suicide among the men here on this forum is loneliness. To be so blasé and callous towards this topic on a suicide forum is seriously tone deaf.

Loneliness is absolutely a driving factor behind suicide, and l don't think anyone has diminished that notion in this thread. It is worth remembering however that loneliness is a very different thing to being angry because the good-looking girls won't suck your dick. The majority of threads on this issue (and there are about twelve of them on the go at any one time) seem to reflect the latter more than the former, and l don't think it's unhealthy or showing an empathy deficit to question some of the negative and ultimately self-defeating attitudes towards sex and women which are routinely displayed in these threads.

 

[Nightmare]

that's not true. it's a stretch and a heinous caricature of common scientific theories lumped together; that are either incomplete or straight out wrong. i find your view so one-dimentional it's not even black and white, it's straight out fatalistic deterministic shade of shitty.
you can't view men outside of the context of the society they live in, and from where i'm standing at least 70% of all people on earth are a failure, just that men are not allowed to fail, so when they do fail once they get so much negative reinforcement (a LOT of it from other men) they tend to fall in a viscious circle of constant societal confirmation of how unmanly and unworthy they are.
women on the other hand aren't even considered contestants in this freak show, most the times, so if we loose it's okay, if we win we're the cool independent bitch mascot, the exception to the rule.
don't equate dehumanisation of human psyche to science.
true science can't even exist in a sick depraved psyche, neurologically speaking.

"sick depraved psyche" , "neurologically speaking"(whatever that means)
Incomplete yes, But straight out wrong? That's you whining with excuses for your pathetic self as people like you wants to normalize the idea that they truly got no fighting chance and men acting on their biological drive are "dehumanized"
You have got no idea what actual "humanity" is aside from what you have been told on your place, You obviously hate anyone that does not give a crap about your feelings and handles reality without giving random people that stink of negativity an opening to their hearts just so that they can start reflecting their personal issues on those poor men that tried to help.
How can someone complain about not being a woman by being born a male in the first place as women have many advantages when it comes to cheap resources and positions but their expiration date is close to the date on which they realize that they have one and they live their youth worried about it which you did never give a crap to try and imagine how painful its to them.
By the way at least 70% failure people on earth doesn't mean that you have to be a failure but there's no problem with being a failure as long as you don't hate successful people for getting the benefits of being what they are.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Eh, I've come to accept that no amount of self improvement will undo my inceldom. But I think that if people are going to be so hostile towards incels then it's a pretty good argument for legally making suicide as a whole more acceptable at least for people in this situation. So women don't like me, if you don't want me to be mad about it then at least make it easier for me to stop being anyone else's problem.

I'm not aiming this at anyone in particular, just to society as a whole. Rather than deny the bias exists they should just get it over with and permit all us incels to die off instead of giving us false hope by saying we can just change our personalities as if that's so easy. Maybe some people can but not everyone has the willpower necessary and to expect them all to let alone maybe more than 5% of all people trapped in a soul sucking mindset to escape it is laughable.

Loneliness however seems to be a universal problem atm. Even for the peak of beauty it's lonely for them at the top and their many relationships are mostly superficial. The very advantages they have also prevent them from have any real substance to most of their interactions.