Why is it so hard?

[forgivemegod]

I no longer have any hope of getting better, but I feel like I'm stuck in this existence because CTB is so fucking hard :(
I think I will just move to another city and live in the streets and hope I die thsre

 

[kitkat9234]

I feel the same. Like I'm trapped. Too scared that I will fail again to try and not able to deal with this miserable life. I hate that it's so hard.

 

[Agon321]

I think I've come to terms with the fact that I can't handle CTB.
The only chance is that the world will force me against a wall and CTB will be the only solution, or the world will simply kill me somehow.
At this point, I'm just waiting, I don't know what the fuck for.

 

[forgivemegod]

I'm paralyzed trying to think of an accessible and peaceful method, but even SN, which people talk about as if it were the most peaceful, scares me.

 

[Echo]

At this point, I'm just waiting, I don't know what the fuck for.

I felt that last sentence.

 

[ultradespair]

Being able to choose when you wouldn't wake up ever again from your sleep is the dream

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand, I also feel trapped in this cruel existence, I always suffer from how I cannot just have a death like falling asleep permanently, I wish you the best.

 

[ThatRussianDude]

My thoughts exactly. Before when I decided that I would cbt it felt like I'm burning life and it's fine but now when the time came... he'll I didn't expect the SI be so strong. Yeah you can get drunk and pop Xanax that would make u care less but still, even to plan that feels so fucked up inside.

 

[cursedlife]

I failed 5 suicide attempts , I have been waiting for death to come since I was 18 ( I'm 27 now ) it seems death chooses people who don't want to die instead of people who want to die , but I know I'll die sooner or later it's just a matter of time

 

[TheVanishingPoint]

Fear is a silent poison that seeps into the simplest gestures as well as the most extreme decisions. It makes no distinction between the everyday and the absolute: whether it's facing a challenge, a change, a truth, or even the end itself, it creeps in and tightens its grip. Even in the face of suicide—often seen as an act of courage or pure despair—fear stands as the final gatekeeper, paralyzing thought, slowing will, clouding choice. It is not death that makes one tremble, but the void between thought and action, that suspended space where the human being falters, having imagined too much and feared even more.

 

[unluckysadness]

Same.

 

[Terrible_Life]

Alcohol helps me . Not too much just little bit is enough and I could do it especially when I think about all the pain i had in my 25 years on this planet while drinking