Discussion Why is dating difficult?

[azucaramargo]

Talking with people online for me is way different than offline, tho I fail in both cases

Oh boy! I feel like I often post about anti-depressants. I spent the whole day sniveling at work, so I am no picture of mental health, but it seems like you definitely could benefit from some selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or the like. I'm no doctor, but you sound like me when I go off my meds. I don't want you to feel so terrible. I don't like your screen name -- it's not true. I wish you didn't loathe yourself so much. It makes me so sad to read your posts. I know this is cliché, but if any of us on this site needed help or felt as bad as you did, I know you wouldn't be as mean as you are to yourself. Please. Know that we are your community. Please, try to be good to yourself. Be a friend to yourself. We are your friends. Please don't call yourself ugly. It's simply a lie.

 

[azucaramargo]

I'm a woman and I've.been online dating on and off for years, me many people but to be honest I don't think I have the patience forit. I find most of the men cookie cutter and boring, there's no originality.... You think if it's so hard to connect with a real woman on those things they woudl make an effort when they do, but most don't. When they say things that make it obvious they haven't read your profile and are just talking to you cos of your pics I find that really rude. I guess I'm just a grouch and don't have the patience for online dating

Totally agree. Huge turnoff if they haven't bothered to read your profile.

 

[anuglymale]

>

Well, I dont know about meds that much, but I know that I want to see the reality as it is, and I suspect meds will deceive my mind into unreasonable positive thinking. Same reason why I dont try to escape reality with drinking.
Plus I don't have any money nor knowledge on how to get prescriptions.

On my ugliness, well, my face is bad enough to get me rejected not just by girls but by almost all the society in general so I would call it ugly

 

[noonetoo]

Tried POF, like 7 years ago. Horrible experience. Met 2 guys. Both sucked. One became a booty call and the other scared me. The first date was nice after that... who the hell takes their Valentine's date to the jack in the box drive thru, offers to buy something from the dollar menu and then eats in the car before handing me a jr. bacon cheeseburger!!? "lol" at it now.

That screwed my self-esteem big time. People need to step their game up or lower their standards. Not all of us are that terrible or ugly.

But yeah it's hard, sorry for your bad experiences as well.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

competition + free will

 

[Soon4me]

Not being capable of having sex makes it even more difficult for me if not impossible.

 

[Exile]

You said a mouthful! So true! I am the spokesperson for repellent behavior, as you so aptly put it. And, you just put into words so succinctly all my relationship problems. ..."Someone who will stick around while we sabotage ourselves." Ain't that the truth? And, clamoring for people whom we think will compensate for our inadequacies. Thank you for posting this.

You're welcome. I was just looking at my own behaviour - not pretty.

I don't like dating. It's not like I know anyone who would ever want to be with me - and even if that was the case, I'd have to explain a ton of self harm scars which aren't exactly pretty. They'll probably leave me over it too.

I've had my little share of dating now. All it's done is leave me lonely still thinking about my ex every fucking waking moment of the day, and I can't stand it.

I feel it's very likely that you will find someone else or she will find you, when you're ready to go in that direction. It may take some time but you have more going for you than you appear to realize. Trust me, you're a catch.

 

[azucaramargo]

You're welcome. I was just looking at my own behaviour - not pretty.

I feel it's very likely that you will find someone else or she will find you, when you're ready to go in that direction. It may take some time but you have more going for you than you appear to realize. Trust me, you're a catch.

Exile, I agree. 21Neberg has got to be a total catch: so contemplative and insightful!

 

[Burbank]

I'm a pretty average girl, but had no luck online dating. The conversations never lead anywhere and most of the time the men message with fwb or one night stand in mind, which i'm not into. There's plenty of matches but not a single good connection.

 

[Zaynaldeen]

Why bother with it, the human race is increasing in number exponentially and we are slowly killing ourselves thanks to mutliple factors, such as pollusion, oppression, drugs, alcohol and what not. We all are going to die, yet we still have this illusion of our life plan and this so-called dreams of ours. Death comes unannounced and to be fair, there is no purpose to life. So you meet up and have sex? What then? Do you want to marry and have kids only so that they can suffer in this distasteful and unjust world? No thank you. You want to get money for pleasure, but what will you get from this pleasure that is so great? It's temporary and rather short to be honest with you. I just can't comprehend why people go on about their daily lives as if it has meaning, nevermind online dating which is a hot mess, especially for average or below average looking men.