here_for_now
is this by design?
- Jan 27, 2025
- 128
ordered my rope so i want to leave a story for my fellow sufferers of life before i go.
it's long and boring so fair warning lol.
I've been trying to be a successful businessman since was a kid.
I would always get these entrepreneur urges when i would get bullied in school and i would always imagine myself being successful as a coping mechanism looking back to deal with the cruelty of the torture.
I then fell in love with business for real this time about age 14 because i realized the power of it. If you can make something valuable you can be rich.
And at that time i thought being rich would make everybody love me and solve my problems. Never got rich because i failed in business so i won't ever know if money solves problems.
Life did its thing until january of last year when i got a neurodegenerative disease.
It's going to progress to compete disability within a few years and I think i'm already partially disabled and it makes my life a living hell so i guess that's one of my main reasons for being done with life.
I'm also a drug addict loser who only disappoints their loved ones and fucks up everything in life.
So the guilt accumulated from being a fuck up is another reason too. I can't forgive myself and i deserve to die.
Another reason is i'm being psychologically tortured by the government. Don't click off i know reading this makes you think "this guy lost it" but it's really true.
I don't know how long they have been following me, but they've made their presence known recently.
They have been scaring the living shit out of me and it's very traumatic.
After they've made their presence known it's been so bad i've been dealing with PTSD like symptoms.
My worst fear in the world is getting raped in jail.
And my thought process is this, if they are putting this much effort into following me, they wouldn't just walk away.
And if you're thinking that's crazy, would you believe me if i told you they were willing to psychologically torture someone at a rehab?
so i wouldn't say it's crazy to assume that it will get worse and it has.
They torture me everyday with subliminal messaging. I'm not safe nowhere i go not even my home because they'll just show the subliminal messaging through my screen.
It's ironic that a few days ago, i confirmed this with some info and they told me that one of the main goals of government psychological torture is to drive the person to suicide.
Well they won.
it's long and boring so fair warning lol.
I've been trying to be a successful businessman since was a kid.
I would always get these entrepreneur urges when i would get bullied in school and i would always imagine myself being successful as a coping mechanism looking back to deal with the cruelty of the torture.
I then fell in love with business for real this time about age 14 because i realized the power of it. If you can make something valuable you can be rich.
And at that time i thought being rich would make everybody love me and solve my problems. Never got rich because i failed in business so i won't ever know if money solves problems.
Life did its thing until january of last year when i got a neurodegenerative disease.
It's going to progress to compete disability within a few years and I think i'm already partially disabled and it makes my life a living hell so i guess that's one of my main reasons for being done with life.
I'm also a drug addict loser who only disappoints their loved ones and fucks up everything in life.
So the guilt accumulated from being a fuck up is another reason too. I can't forgive myself and i deserve to die.
Another reason is i'm being psychologically tortured by the government. Don't click off i know reading this makes you think "this guy lost it" but it's really true.
I don't know how long they have been following me, but they've made their presence known recently.
They have been scaring the living shit out of me and it's very traumatic.
After they've made their presence known it's been so bad i've been dealing with PTSD like symptoms.
My worst fear in the world is getting raped in jail.
And my thought process is this, if they are putting this much effort into following me, they wouldn't just walk away.
And if you're thinking that's crazy, would you believe me if i told you they were willing to psychologically torture someone at a rehab?
so i wouldn't say it's crazy to assume that it will get worse and it has.
They torture me everyday with subliminal messaging. I'm not safe nowhere i go not even my home because they'll just show the subliminal messaging through my screen.
It's ironic that a few days ago, i confirmed this with some info and they told me that one of the main goals of government psychological torture is to drive the person to suicide.
Well they won.
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