Venting why I holding out hope?

[kaitekat23]

I am sure I want CTB, but something my family mentioned today gave me hope, the finest glimmer almost, I found myself making plans for weeks after the CTB date. It's false hope. A false hope meaning if it happens there's no guarantee it'll make me happier. No guarantee that the depression will just magically disappear. The false hope is giving more guilt because I was very much involved in that conversation of why can't we? And we should go, part.

 

[Angel of Spades]

If that hope gives you enough strength to hold on, that's always an option, and you can go with the flow and play it by ear. However, if you don't think holding out for that hope is worth it, then you know your answer. It's up to how you feel about it. I'd say it doesn't hurt to hold onto that hope for now and see where it takes you, but I can't know your circumstances enough to confirm the validity of whether or not it would hurt.

 

[kaitekat23]

If that hope gives you enough strength to hold on, that's always an option, and you can go with the flow and play it by ear. However, if you don't think holding out for that hope is worth it, then you know your answer. It's up to how you feel about it. I'd say it doesn't hurt to hold onto that hope for now and see where it takes you, but I can't know your circumstances enough to confirm the validity of whether or not it would hurt.

I've held on that glimmer of hope twice before, and it was nothing but my gut instinct proving me right. It's a cycle. I know the outcome won't be any different. It's happened twice before. 1st time the happiness last a few months and everything went down hill; the 2nd time, took no time to get to business. Only thing different is someone wouldn't be coming with (as in moving somewhere, hopefully again, there's been no decision) I just am not sure. I'm a rock stuck in a hard place. I was finally content in CTB. Wholeheartedly content with doing it in 2 weeks but then that conversation was brought up.

 

[Ilovedyoulikeadog]

I get this feeling. I think it's more temperament more than anything else. I think for me, the smallest bit of hope, makes me hold onto something with my claws into it. Guess I've always kind of been like that.