Why haven’t you CTB yet?

[Mustkeyknow]

I have my SN and my metos ready but I also have this tiny little hope that things will improve somehow? I guess it's the survival instinct kicking in. Even if things don't improve, the thought of having to work in a meaningless job for the rest of my life just, pushes me to the edge.

 

[Kassender]

Im scared, tbh
Must be the survival instinct too

But ive seen enough of this life and ive got nothing left to expect.
I can feel it closing in, i cant stay here anymore.
I hope i wont fuck it up.

 

[faust]

I was feeling like it is better to die when was working and then I was not yet actively suicidal, so I know what do you mean about job...
There is no need to rush since you know you can do that anytime. It is like a safety pillow for you. At least now you can technically experience more freedom in your life.
Edit: Considering me, it is not the proper time yet. This bell is tolling not for me.

 

[Musketeer]

I have my SN and my metos ready but I also have this tiny little hope that things will improve somehow? I guess it's the survival instinct kicking in. Even if things don't improve, the thought of having to work in a meaningless job for the rest of my life just, pushes me to the edge.

i have a few cards i at least need to play before i fold. I lived my life good and bad, i have lived like a gambit all my life. so i at least need to play the rest of my hand and drink the rest of my whiskey before i ctb, maybe it will work and i don't need to ctb, however i always need to keep ctb as an option.

 

[lizinha]

Im scared, tbh
Must be the survival instinct too

But ive seen enough of this life and ive got nothing left to expect.
I can feel it closing in, i cant stay here anymore.
I hope i wont fuck it up.

I feel you, my same exact reasons rn and due to all my postpones

 

[Mr2005]

I'm needed

 

[Return2Dust]

The fear of absolutely nothing after this and being found before the SN shuts everything down.

 

[Jumper Geo]

I have my SN and my metos ready but I also have this tiny little hope that things will improve somehow? I guess it's the survival instinct kicking in. Even if things don't improve, the thought of having to work in a meaningless job for the rest of my life just, pushes me to the edge.

I need to plan everything to perfection so everything is ready as I don't want to mtb.

 

[Cutepoison]

Same for me. I want to go somewhere where no one knows me, spend a day or two doing nothing and then ctb. I cannot be found.

 

[ready55]

Same for me. I want to go somewhere where no one knows me, spend a day or two doing nothing and then ctb. I cannot be found.

 

[jonionl]

I only stay alive for my cat. I'm scared to leave him alone in this horrible world

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I wanted to be 27. I turnt 27 today.

 

[Cjaf]

I wasn't ready and even though I know it will happen. I want to take my time. I'm extremely close to being ready and that gives me mixed feelings. Life feels easier because I know it will end soon but I'm also getting impatient. I just want to make it happen.

 

[zeroambition]

I'm staying alive for my mother..

 

[Pupu]

I think I need to sort out my mess beforehand I ctb, so there will be less things left to do for my mom when I'm gone. At times I feel I want to go right away but I try to struggle with those feelings and continue with my plan.

 

[jecamole]

I'm not sure. I guess it's fear. Fear of what comes after and of what it will do to my family. I'm scared to die and afraid to live. Just a coward overall.

 

[Cjaf]

I'm not sure. I guess it's fear. Fear of what comes after and of what it will do to my family. I'm scared to die and afraid to live. Just a coward overall.

I don't think that makes you a coward. I felt like that for a long that but I think I felt that way because I wasn't ready to end my life.
All your fears make sense, don't be so hard on yourself!

 

[Done here]

I'm just busy planning and I have a few more things to do this year. Mid July and I should be ready to go, with a solid plan this time.

 

[Over&out]

I'm waiting for the right time, I'm planning on either SN or exit bag method, I need to wait until I can order the required items when they can be delivered with only me here. Then once I have them, its waiting until I'm going to be alone for at least 8 hours.

 

[terry_a_davis]

mother

 

[kokporn]

Моя мама постоянно дома

 

[Yomyom]

My brother is in an officers course in the army, and my grandma should have this month an eyes surgery
If I do it now my brother will stop his course which affects his career in the Army, and my grandma won't do the surgery.
Besides, I'm not stable, I'm sure in my decision to die but I'm not sure when.

 

[reesespiecesaregood]

Want to make sure my family sells our house first since my ctb would surely affect that and I want to minimize the burden as much as I can now. Currently sitting in my house while potential buyers have it inspected so fingers crossed.

Also, afraid to fail. I'm impatient to go yet I still find myself so scared of what would happen if my attempt didn't work.

 

[Lost_the_will2_live]

I only stay alive for my cat. I'm scared to leave him alone in this horrible world

this is so me with my three dogs. I want to ctb so bad but they make me postpone at the moment! They are my everything.

 

[Marktheghost]

Haven't got round to reading the sn megathread yet.

 

[s1mplem3]

Meaningless job, taxes and bills are good reasons to CTB. Who wants to be a slave.

 

[Trisolaris]

Can't get myself to pass out using partial hanging.

 

[I’mDone]

Same for me. I want to go somewhere where no one knows me, spend a day or two doing nothing and then ctb. I cannot be found.

Same. I don't want my body found, ever. I haven't worked out a way of doing this yet, but the need to ctb is getting stronger that soon I don't think being found will matter any more.

 

[Kumachan]

1. theres a slim chance things might improve just a tiny bit
2. my little nephews are here
3. i have a special place in mind for my ctb

 

[Busdriver]

The planning part is so depressing.
Also, the 1st 20 minutes after SN intake boggle me.
I am also waiting for the Debreather to be released.