why haven't you commit suicide yet

[Borderline]

I tried but failed.

 

[Sad Avocado]

My birthday will be in a few days. I want to be with all my friends for the last time

 

[Nakiya]

Really I would be okay with dying if I finished my game but if it's not done then I Don't feel comfortable with it

 

[LonelyKitten]

Lack of access to a peaceful method? Check. Everything's crashing quite abruptly, I didn't have a solid plan in place.
Not ready to die? Check. There is so much I wish I could still do or could have done... regret.
Survival instinct holding you back? Check. Comfort kept sogging me through each day instead of letting me finish things at a better time.

Afraid of death? Naturally to some extent - but I'm exceptionally more afraid of the loss of freedom that failure could lead to.
That makes attempting terrifying, for fear of living.

 

[Orbitc]

1. I'm afraid I'll fail again
2. I hate the feeling of waking up alive
3. My last 72 hr psych hold was embarrassing and I was physically sick and they completely ignored my medical needs and foolishly think they could magically fix me in 72 hrs
4. My daughter depends on me
So everyday I wake up upset, sometimes cry, put on a happy face go to work, rush home and take my sleeping pills so my mind can finally rest.

Sleeping with sleeping pills is like a little death - sometimes I take fenobarbital and metformin - due to low glucose level and barbiturate, I fall into absolute nothingness for 6 hours. I so want to sleep and not wake up
I'm afraid of failure - I already had a failed attempt with digoxin and I'm not entirely sure that SN is absolutelly peaceful. I'm afraid of vomiting and some health problems if I survive. Of course I have to die soon anyway and I will go with sn but I am so afraid that it will hurt or something will go wrong and I will survive with brain damage.

 

[anhedonicNfoggy]

I'm kinda confused. I don't know what I want.

What's holding me back is
1. Lack of access to methods bc I don't have a car/drive, my own place with no one else there, don't have an unmonitored credit card
2. Fear of failure bc I think once I attempt and fail and people find me, that will feel soul-crushing. I want to succeed the first time
3. I don't want to traumatize people - I don't want my mom to grieve and feel it is her fault. I don't want to traumatize people who have to clean up my body. On some level, I just feel if I'm anyways here in the first place bc of mental suffering, I don't want to cause more mental suffering to others. That's why I'm iffy about using a gun
4. I think I'm holding onto a bit of hope. Honestly it's worrying that a lot of goodbye threads are by 18 or 19 year-olds. I guess alarming external factors cause people to not be able to take it anymore. By sheer luck, I'm in a safe position. It's more that I feel aimless and am just extremely bored and exhausted. I guess when I do die, part of me wants to think I have lived enough or experienced enough. Bc death is final. There's no going back. I don't know why I think this when even if I'm given the opportunity to do something, I'd rather just stay in bed and just keep sleeping. But I guess if I still feel I want to die after 10 years, then I'll be confident I made the right decision.

 

[Aloneisbestforme]

Well here are the reasons.

• Not many things around my house to really ctb Plus i'm too scare to go out to get them
  
  
• I still wanna enjoy the small bits in my life has to offer even though lots of it is hell
  
  
• no good spots to do it as of now because I will not ctb in my own house. I don't want my grandma or my dad to see my corpse. as much as I want him to see my corpse for the things he has done to me still nobody should see that. it's just a horrific sight to see
  
  
• I'm kinda lazy. this might sound dumb but For me atleast. i'm gonna put alot of effort into my plan to ctb and I want nothing to go wrong at all and that reason alone I just don't have it in my for now that is to really do that

 

[subhuman metalhead]

I don't have my preferred method yet (firearm) and likely won't for the rest of my life considering I was recently 302'd and thus am federally banned from owning a gun.

 

[mind3de]

If I commit suicide, I would want to get N. But it's unavailable at the moment.

Also: 1/2 year ago I had a vision where god revealed himself to me, so I know that there is a god.