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why haven't you commit suicide yet

  • lack of access to peaceful method

    Votes: 164 50.6%
  • not ready to die

    Votes: 77 23.8%
  • holding onto a family member dies

    Votes: 55 17.0%
  • survival instinct holding you back

    Votes: 123 38.0%
  • afraid of death

    Votes: 71 21.9%
  • other

    Votes: 83 25.6%

  • Total voters
    324
MiraiShisen

MiraiShisen

Student
Jun 15, 2023
192
just waiting until my illness will be so bad I wont be able to withstand pain then I will do it
 
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SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Suicideation?
Jul 11, 2023
146
Was assuming, now wishing that my tonic-clonic seizures will finish me off unconsciously
 
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MidnightGloom

MidnightGloom

my happiest moment will be my death
Jul 28, 2023
31
It feels like I'm waiting for a miracle by delaying and purposely pausing everything in the middle to force myself to stay alive longer. It just angers me too much to think about what'll happen after I die, when everybody cries over my body acting like they ever understood me or cared for me before my death.
 
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sometimes.sometimes

sometimes.sometimes

Student
Jun 4, 2023
145
Because I keep having hope, for some reason...
 
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morbidtoby

morbidtoby

sleeping forevermore? sounds like a dream.
Jul 25, 2023
11
motivation is at an all time low due to mental health
 
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smokingfish99

smokingfish99

Member
Jul 25, 2023
41
The tiny hope I'll get better, but that hope has nearly vanished
 
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pjf

pjf

Member
Jul 17, 2023
6
im attempting to recover, thats mostly the reason why. I think its right to at least do my due diligence before CTB. It does get very tempting at certain times though
 
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jbear824

jbear824

F*ck humanity. Let's end this.
Jul 4, 2023
408
My preferred method is out of reach for me.

But I'm also staying for my partner. I just can't abandon him to this world all alone, I love him too much to hurt him by ctb. I just can't do it to him, he doesn't deserve that trauma. and he does make me happy. There are just other life things that make me want to end it. But he's a big counterweight to that right now. If we were to part ways I don't think I would have nearly as much holding me here.

So I'm kind of left to cope with being trapped/stuck with these very conflicting, irreconcilable feelings.
 
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MyChoiceAlone

MyChoiceAlone

sleep deprived and/or drunk
Jul 23, 2023
1,231
fear of failure
 
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99o9898iijh7

99o9898iijh7

Lovely
Jul 28, 2023
2
Keeping someone else alive, they're luckier than me. I have less to lose.

I care about them so much, I don't want to leave them alone in this. Yet I feel like I'm not their priority, I feel useless. Maybe I'm putting too much on someone I don't know all the way. Maybe it's just me being afraid
 
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cloakedbear

cloakedbear

Member
Jul 28, 2023
12
aside from fears, pains, or lack of resources, i'm lowkey just lazy 🤣
 
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A

Aya&Dazy

Member
Nov 11, 2022
63
wasted my life and wasted money until it almost gone and then I will kms.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,056
Lack of reliable access to an effective (not peaceful by any means) method currently and also more loose ends to tie up before I take the plunge, though of course, future events or things could either expedite that or push it back...
 
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H

hdahsa

Member
Jul 25, 2021
57
Just waiting to tie up some financial things. I do not want to ctb leaving behind anything for folks to clean up.

Not afraid of death or a little pain. SN is ready. There is no other option visible other than ctb. Only a matter of some months.
 
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Reactions: PurpleVoid and Deleted member 65988
Notwinnernotawin

Notwinnernotawin

Specialist
Apr 4, 2020
341
Because I found out that even though things are failing right now, I still have hopes. Also, I wanna marry the man I love and have kids.
 
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SMK1444

SMK1444

Addicted to cutting
Jul 27, 2023
25
Well I guess I'm just a pussy, plain and simple and every time I get the courage I can never get the method right. It's an endless cycle of suffering.
 
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𖣂𖣂𖣂.

𖣂𖣂𖣂.

𖣂
May 26, 2023
165
Waiting till I have a bad breakdown that's when I do it so I will go confidently
 
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Rūkas.Psichozė

Rūkas.Psichozė

Mirtis
Jul 27, 2023
2
My cat wouldn't understand why I left- I still have one last thing left to do
 
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D

Deleted member 65988

Guest
Just waiting to tie up some financial things. I do not want to ctb leaving behind anything for folks to clean up.

Not afraid of death or a little pain. SN is ready. There is no other option visible other than ctb. Only a matter of some months.
This is where I'm at too. My SN and other meds are ready aside from a few concerns I have but I'd say it's only a matter of months for me too.
 
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M

MoonDrop

New Member
Jul 28, 2023
1
Afraid it will hurt. Afraid of panic. General fear. I don't even want to die. The abuse just won't stop.
 
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Gloomislost

Gloomislost

Pet the bunnies for me · 18
Jul 27, 2023
177
I haven't yet because of my brother. He's 16 and already knows I'm struggling and so is he because of our childhood. I don't think I'm ready to CTB because I don't want him to be alone.
We've been together since his birth and haven't separated since, I don't want to leave him yet unless my will is perfect and all my belongings get sold so he can have money for therapy and such. I could basically leave this world very quick but since he's still alive, I want to stay a little longer just so he knows I'm here for him until I'm not.
 
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SadPingu

SadPingu

Go out like a spark, my trauma and me.
Jul 27, 2023
61
Hope I guess maybe? I haven't exhausted all my avenues yet. I had 16 months stability until recently and it was amazing so maybe it can be like that again. Although this is the closest I've ever been to considering CTB. I kinda tell myself OK see where you are in X months and go from there.
 
Unknown21

Unknown21

The past never dies. Forever 22.
Apr 25, 2023
1,084
Lack of money.
Fear of failure.
 
M

Mtnwildflowers

Student
Jan 14, 2022
182
I keep putting off the date to attend certain things like a family member's wedding or big life moment because I don't want to ruin those things for loved ones.

I'm very hopeless but I think secretly I've been wanting something to change so I can want to live and have a good life. I feel like at this point it's just reality that I don't. I've tried the psychiatric treatment route for decades, and it never helped. I've been told my mental illness (bipolar disorder) is sometimes terminal by my therapist and agree.
 
avaruus

avaruus

loser · gone very soon
Aug 17, 2022
559
im scared of failing and the pain that comes with it, i just want to stop existing
 
F

fruitty

Member
Apr 18, 2023
9
im scared of dying. i dont wanna die, but my life is so shit
 

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