Why flame a potentially suicidal person?

[Chupacabra 44]

If your referring to the "seeking a female" thread I'll explain why I left the comment I made. Lots of women like myself are here because of abuse from ex's and men in general. We are not here to give someone a "girlfriend experience" . To me the post gave off a bad predator vibe because he was asking for a "female to supply" him with a girlfriend experience. If he just wanted friends why not include everyone? I have seen WAY too many predators here in my time and I think healthy skepticism and caution was warranted with that post. I didn't think I was flaming someone who was potentially suicidal I feel like it's good to warn about an alarming post like that. This is not a "hook up or a dating site" people here are suffering and sadly far too many get exploited. If he sincerely wants to meet women go to a dating site not SS.

And for people who have made lasting genuine friendships here that's great. I have made lots of wonderful genuine friends here. I just think healthy caution is very important... exploiting vulnerable people who are suffering is about as low someone can go and it happens too much sadly.

If your referring to the "seeking a female" thread I'll explain why I left the comment I made. Lots of women like myself are here because of abuse from ex's and men in general. We are not here to give someone a "girlfriend experience" . To me the post gave off a bad predator vibe because he was asking for a "female to supply" him with a girlfriend experience. If he just wanted friends why not include everyone? I have seen WAY too many predators here in my time and I think healthy skepticism and caution was warranted with that post. I didn't think I was flaming someone who was potentially suicidal I feel like it's good to warn about an alarming post like that. This is not a "hook up or a dating site" people here are suffering and sadly far too many get exploited. If he sincerely wants to meet women go to a dating site not SS.

And for people who have made lasting genuine friendships here that's great. I have made lots of wonderful genuine friends here. I just think healthy caution is very important... exploiting vulnerable people who are suffering is about as low someone can go and it happens too much sadly.

Just as I struggle to understand why I see the same tinnitus thread posted here over and over versus posting those concepts on one of the many tinnitus forums, I too struggle with why somebody posts a dating thread on a site like this?

I sympathize with those who were offended by that thread.

As much as the OP was cringy, nevertheless I hope nothing pushed him over the edge. I'm too sensitive and had no desire to read and see his potential handling of responses.

Bottom line, I care and hope everyone came away from that thread unscathed.

 

[Wayfaerer]

1. Not everyone on SS is suicidal, some have predatory / scheming / charlatan behavior. Basically taking advantage of vulnerable members of the community.

2. If you are referring to the poster I think you are, I don't know what mental illness you might be thinking of to justify that thread. Give me an example and I'll listen.

If someone is neither suicidal nor has mental illness, then why are they on this board in the first place? I am not talking about the predators and charlatans.

 

[AlreadyGone]

If someone is neither suicidal nor has mental illness, then why are they on this board in the first place? I am not talking about the predators and charlatans.

Probably because they are bored and have nothing better to do.

 

[Meditation guide]

As much as the OP was cringy, nevertheless I hope nothing pushed him over the edge. I'm too sensitive and had no desire to read and see his potential handling of responses.

You don't get it. It wasn't what it seemed to be.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Probably because they are bored and have nothing better to do.

You don't get it. It wasn't what it seemed to be.

I have low emotional IQ, so I can accept that I did not understand. Thanks for helping me to think about this deeper and to learn. Human behavior fascinates me (including my own).

 

[BipolarGuy]

1. Not everyone on SS is suicidal, some have predatory / scheming / charlatan behavior. Basically taking advantage of vulnerable members of the community.

2. If you are referring to the poster I think you are, I don't know what mental illness you might be thinking of to justify that thread. Give me an example and I'll listen.

Specifically as regards point 1, I totally agree.
But then again anybody who has seen my posts will know that I agree.
I made a thread about this very issue (below).

Other than the concerns expressed by myself and others on the thread linked below, I am concerned that behaviour that one would expect to be challenged in every other context gets an easy ride on this site (note I didn't say a 'free pass').
To compound the issue, challenging said behaviour directly tends to attract a "lets try to understand them" response (or even a "how dare you challenge someone else's opinion or view" type response!), even when what has been said is actually quite clear and is simply not acceptable.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/a-balanced-view-on-this-website.48483/

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I was watching that thread for most of its run and even left a pretty insensitive comment that I'm glad is gone now. Sorry if you had the misfortune of spotting it... My mind always wants to play devil's advocate it seems.

I will say that I have this nasty tendency of gradually sympathizing with people who I see are getting dog piled on if I can relate to one thing about that person. I think that original thread was made in very poor taste and not well thought out but I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt that he could be made to change. That was, until I saw some of the responses to his thread, and the other parody thread that came after. While those responses are objectively correct to be wary, I don't think some of them truly helped the OP grow or learn. Rather it taught him that he is doomed to become a predator for how he speaks and while I can't claim to speak for him I wouldn't be surprised if he believes he has no other options as a direct result of the discourse that took place. If he actually does something predatory then we can pile on the hate and kick him out but I have firsthand experience being an evil and twisted person myself and I can guarantee for sure that it starts when people come together to mock them even when it's for a good reason. I don't think that means we have to encourage or coddle him or anyone who says stuff like that though but it's important that people in the future either ignore it or be more polite about it, at least at first. Maybe I'm wrong though because the stuff he said really was red flag raising.

OP, if you're watching this. Take everyone's advice that this is not a dating site. If you're here for only that then I suggest you look elsewhere not because you'd be a predator (which you could be), but because you likely won't get a fulfilling relationship from an Internet forum anyway no matter what they're about. If you just want female friends to gain experience talking to them so that you can work your way up, then get a tinder or similar app and if nothing happens for you, then I'm really sorry but it definitely wouldn't have happened here.

 

[Spitfire]

I have low emotional IQ, so I can accept that I did not understand. Thanks for helping me to think about this deeper and to learn. Human behavior fascinates me (including my own).

I sympathize with you on all of this how you presented your take on the matter. I had very similar feelings, and could have written much of what you said as if they were my own words.

If it helps, I would not even watch the video myself... Because of the damaging effects it could have had on another person (OP of that thread), in case they were actually hurting emotionally or something. Those effects would be felt by me... and I know that.

Even though I knew better and was seeing all of the giant red flags, and I agree 100% with everyone else who was calling that behavior out like they did as being highly inappropriate and seemingly predatory in nature.

This is the curse of my being an HSP.

 

[Soul]

If someone is neither suicidal nor has mental illness, then why are they on this board in the first place? I am not talking about the predators and charlatans.

I'm here because I like/support the pro-choice community. I already have most of what I'll need when I decide it's time to exit, but meanwhile I can sometimes help others find some information or offer some compassion. I believe there are many people here for reasons like mine.

I saw that "I need female friends" thread and immediately bypassed it as too creepy to look at.

 

[Nelos]

Thank you for the reply. I understand that not everyone here is suicidal; just as I understand everyone here does not have mental illness. However, to better protect all members, personally, I make the assumption that every poster here could potentially fall into each of these categories. This assumption governs my behavior and directly influences every single post I make.

It was in the dating thread. I intentionally did not read many replies, because I knew what was likely to follow in that thread was likely to become a train wreck. I saw someone post something that I felt was extremely offensive in that it was comparing the OP to the mass murderer in Isla Vista. I think this crossed the line.

I disagree, it does not excuse poor social skills or desperation. Though everyone has their opinions still like the thread.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

If someone is neither suicidal nor has mental illness, then why are they on this board in the first place? I am not talking about the predators and charlatans.

Lol, I didn't claim to be categorizing all SS members into either suicidal or predatory. I used the qualifier "some."

 

[checkouttime]

just because people have mental health problems or other issues, doesn't mean they can't tell the difference between right and wrong. what 99.9% of 'normal' people think is a correct way to look at something, is exactly what the 99.9% of normal people on here think aswell. because we aren't some strange set of people that can't relate to what the so called normal people think, just because we have issues/problems doesn't mean don't have morals.

If you come on here an attack a group of people, i'm not surprised people react how they do (me included). some ways of acting or behaving, will never been seen as 'right' whether you have a mental health problem,are 'normal' or suicidal. some things/ways of thinking are just wrong no matter what to 99.9% of pople whoever they are.

 

[Lupgevif]

Because people feel good and better when flaming others. That's in our nature.

 

[checkouttime]

Because people feel good and better when flaming others. That's in our nature.

people also feel good when being nice and helpful to others aswell, it costs nothing to be nice! making someone happy is priceless IMO

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I have low emotional IQ

How do you know this?
Have you done tests or is it just based on your experiences interacting with people?

Also, I think I read that you studied psychology? (although knowing psychology doesn't necessarily mean having high emotional IQ)

(I'm not trying to attack you in any way in asking these questions, I'm just curious how anyone knows how emotionally intelligent they are)

It wasn't what it seemed to be

Is this certain?
Or just based on people's hunches and the general tone of the OP?

 

[Lupgevif]

people also feel good when being nice and helpful to others aswell, it costs nothing to be nice! making someone happy is priceless IMO

I agree, unfortunately not everyone does.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

The only thing I saw wrong with that posters thread was the request for users to pm him (within this context). Apart from that it was a mirror of how I felt.

 

[checkouttime]

I agree, unfortunately not everyone does.

your'e not wrong. like for instance if you came on here, specifically to abuse some 1 or try to intentionally hurt someone. I think you'd kinda be the one with alot of issues, if thats what 'turns you on'.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I understand that there are vulnerable members here and someone seeking companionship via a direct request that hints at something more would raise red flags. The frustration of being lonely builds up over time and you can't help but ask "what the hell am I doing wrong?". I don't think the comparison to Elliot Rodger was exactly fair, without proof. Notice that the user didn't even attempt to defend themselves. Just my two cents.

 

[checkouttime]

user didn't even attempt to defend themselves.

I have a theory why, but i will refrain from saying it!!

 

[OnlyTheWind]

I have a theory why, but i will refrain from saying it!!

That's reasonable.

 

[checkouttime]

i didn't know i had this restraint in me!!!! i don't want to cause trouble, and i know my opinion would come across that way!

 

[checkouttime]

That was me

honesty is the best policy! love it!

 

[schopenh]

Notice that the user didn't even attempt to defend themselves. Just my two cents.

Because I typically don't spend hours on this website. I wrote the comment and went about my day. I have no idea what was said in that thread or if people were fiercely debating my post. I rarely read beyond the OP and the first couple of posts in a thread. I also just fundamentally don't care for online debates. If I feel I'm right about something, generally I'm comfortable not having the last word or watching people melt while I don't defend anything.
That said I am particularly bored right now, so I've read most of this thread.

I have a theory why, but i will refrain from saying it!!

Let's hear it - genuinely, I might get a kick out of it.

 

[checkouttime]

Let's hear it - genuinely, I might get a kick out of it.

and i might get myself kicked off here!!!

i'll just say genuine?

now stop goading me..........i'm easily lead!!!!!!!!

 

[schopenh]

and i might get myself kicked off here!!!

i'll just say genuine?

now stop goading me..........i'm easily lead!!!!!!!!

You won't get kicked, you're saying it about me, I'm not going to report you whatever you say

 

[Ghost2211]

and i might get myself kicked off here!!!

i'll just say genuine?

now stop goading me..........i'm easily lead!!!!!!!!

Haha, now I want to know too.

 

[checkouttime]

You won't get kicked, you're saying it about me, I'm not going to report you whatever you say

no,it wasn't about you!!!!!!!

It was my theory on why their was no reply

 

[peacefuldeath14]

But... my popcorn...
when will I eat it?

 

[Spitfire]

But... my popcorn...
when will I eat it?

My guess:




Probably while you are pooping?