Discussion Why don’t we change?

[Suidice]

A lot of people including me here are socially anxious and shy, but we are also suicidal, for some reason even with the fact that we are considering ending our lives, we still choose to feel shame. Why do you think this happens? We can go out of our way and tell people how we really feel and be overall shameless but I find myself unable to do that.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I suppose because we're still not immune to the kinds of responses we fear we might get.

I think I know what you mean though. As in- why don't we try everything before we throw in the towel? Make an effort to just be loud and brash and, not care what people think. Have a go at being the life and soul of the party. But then, can we be what we're not? Convincingly anyway.

 

[Roseate]

I think it's because society makes it seem like if you're open about your suicidal thoughts then that makes you attention seeking and due to that, it creates a sense of shame around that topic.

 

[throw-me-away]

We don't *choose* to feel shame, or any emotion. We can only choose how to deal with it. Shame is paralyzing, so it's not easy to actively make a choice about how to react to it.

That said, whenever I'm very suicidal I do feel... slightly less shame. Like, a few days ago I confronted my ex for assaulting me. Wouldn't have done that at times when I cared about the consequences. In fact, me being suicidal is a lot about finally breaking free of the shame. There's things I'm looking forward to finally being able to say and do that I feel like I would have to keep to myself if I had to stay alive.

 

[Liamyzzuf]

Feel free to give that a shot if you want. I became open about it and most of my friends ignore me now and a couple called me manipulative. Really makes me regret not CTB.
It is cultural though, for sure. I treat it like homophobia, it's not their fault, it's just conditioning.

 

[Nightfoot]

CTB is still, largely, seen as taboo in many, if not most, cultures. Social conditioning plays a huge role in our lives, so that can be a source of feelings of shame. Also, if there are people you care about, you may feel shame from the idea of leaving them or how it may affect them.

 

[wtg]

A lot of people including me here are socially anxious and shy, but we are also suicidal, for some reason even with the fact that we are considering ending our lives, we still choose to feel shame. Why do you think this happens? We can go out of our way and tell people how we really feel and be overall shameless but I find myself unable to do that.

Tried it, didnt end up well at the end