Why don't I feel sad after losing my friends?

[doener11]

I don't understand myself anymore, I've lost so many close friends before, yet now I just feel.. like it's fine? For context, I've lost so many close friends in my life before. Today, I lost one and nearly lost another. With the first, he just randomly blocked me out of nowhere (I sent a picture of my cat and then got blocked), and I then messaged him on another app to ask what happened, he just replied with laughing emojis. Yet the thing that really makes me feel weird... is that I don't feel anything. He has blocked me before for a period of a week, and even then I felt less than what I felt with previous friends... is this a good sign that I'm getting less attached to people? I get to see him tomorrow because school starts again after we finished our exams, but I know this doesn't play a part in my thinking.. all I've done is drink some alcohol 15 minutes after the block and since then I haven't felt a thing, not like I felt anything before anyways....

With my other friend that I nearly lost, it happened just 20 minutes after the previous, and I felt the same way - nothing. The only reason I felt something is because I knew that I should care, not that I do. That makes me feel super guilty and awful... he has been a really good friend of mine and the reason I nearly lost him was my fault.. but why do I feel NOTHING??
Before when I've had situations like this, I've wanted to kill myself, sh, spam them and beg to be unblocked, yet I don't feel ANYTHING like that now. I don't understand this.. I was like that just 4 months ago.
If anyone has had a similar experience, or any knowledge as to why, or any advice at all I'd love to hear it!

 

[RoachClassified]

there's nothing wrong about not feeling sad after losing your friends, I think it's just a sanity thing: experiencing a similar thing multiple times eventually will make you desensitized. take relantionships for example, people become extremely depressed after their first breakup, but on their fourth breakup they just won't care, because they experienced the same thing before and got used to it