Why does death feel more real and scary when at home than when I'm outside moving about?

[Ambivalent1]

Hmm

 

[Ash]

I often find this and while I can't speak for you, IME it's because I don't go out very often so when I do the world is fresh and exciting and different to what I'm used to seeing, so the bit of my brain that is caught up with negative and self-destructive thoughts and feelings is kept busy with "new" sights and sounds. It's essentially an unforced distraction technique. Also, I'm alone at home so it's easier to get away with the aforementioned self-destructive behaviours but it in public, it would be too easy to be stopped so I think that I unconsciously decide there's no point and to save it for when I'm home.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm guessing it's like an animal instinct maybe. Like- maybe our senses are more alert when we are out and about. Partly in terms of danger in a way- weirdly. Like, I think I would fear a threat to my life if I was out and about but if I thought about it logically at home- I'd think- that's what you actually want! Maybe SI is stronger in public because we may actually have more threats around.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I often find this and while I can't speak for you, IME it's because I don't go out very often so when I do the world is fresh and exciting and different to what I'm used to seeing, so the bit of my brain that is caught up with negative and self-destructive thoughts and feelings is kept busy with "new" sights and sounds. It's essentially an unforced distraction technique. Also, I'm alone at home so it's easier to get away with the aforementioned self-destructive behaviours but it in public, it would be too easy to be stopped so I think that I unconsciously decide there's no point and to save it for when I'm home.

The world feels less real when I'm outside

I'm guessing it's like an animal instinct maybe. Like- maybe our senses are more alert when we are out and about. Partly in terms of danger in a way- weirdly. Like, I think I would fear a threat to my life if I was out and about but if I thought about it logically at home- I'd think- that's what you actually want! Maybe SI is stronger in public because we may actually have more threats around.

My si is weaker in public. In public, I'm depressed and this life just feels ridiculous and stupid.