Why do you think sites like this have a large incel population?

[Roseate]

In what kind of bubble are you living in?
We are not in the 60s anymore, 2023 is a women's world, at least in North America.
Maybe you should be reminded than men kill themselves 3 times more than women. That is a fact.

And how is it the fault of other men for approaching women? That makes no sense and clearly you dont know what you are talking about.

Let's talk about it. Rape stats are the reason why women fear being approached by men. Men are unpredictable and violent. And yes, it's not all but it's a good majority that women have to fear. There was a women walking her dog minding her business when out of nowhere she was approached by a men and he beat her up. Yes, men do kill themselves more but that's because this society doesn't take men mental issues seriously. But that does not mean this is a women world. Explain how? And don't bring up the fact that a women need to consent to sex because of course they do, it affects women more than men (as in women are the one who carry the child for 9 straight months), or the fact that women get half of everything in a divorce (it stems from misogynists and often women do most of the labor in the relationship), or the fact that women get custody (also stems from misogynists and most men don't even try for full custody anyways). Aside from that, how is it exactly a women world in North America? Because as someone who have lived outside of North America and IN North America, it is very similar the way women are treated. And I was born and raised in a 3rd world country.

 

[stermc]

In what kind of bubble are you living in?
We are not in the 60s anymore, 2023 is a women's world, at least in North America.
Maybe you should be reminded than men kill themselves 3 times more than women. That is a fact.

And how is it the fault of other men for approaching women? That makes no sense and clearly you dont know what you are talking about.

How the fact that suicide is more common amongst men has anything to do with any of this? Men kill themselves more because they usually can't deal with their emotions and they have a hard time looking for help, which is also one of the reasons many men can't interact properly with women.

 

[MoonlitNight]

In what kind of bubble are you living in?
We are not in the 60s anymore, 2023 is a women's world, at least in North America.
Maybe you should be reminded than men kill themselves 3 times more than women. That is a fact.

And how is it the fault of other men for approaching women? That makes no sense and clearly you dont know what you are talking about.

It is the fault of other men for approaching other women as those 'other men' have harrassed women for completely no reason.
This has been done repeatedly which overtime inevitably has made a reputation for men.

Of course not all men can be generalised into this but it certainly has become common and hence why women are fearful.

The suicide rates have nothing to do with this (i do not say women don't do anything either) This usually happens because men usually don't get attention for issues and have trouble calling out too. That's another issue of its own.

 

[enviro400mmc]

It's kinda sad that a forum like this has to be an all out war of competitive suffering when we have so much in common.

No one forms these views in a vacuum, most incels have probably had horrible upbringings and been mistreated much of their lives by people. And it's not rocket science that loneliness and lack of affection, friendship or intimacy are perfectly understandable reasons to be very unhappy.

Incels channel these difficulties in a particularly wrong and disturbing way but I think we should have a bit of empathy for people having a very hard time. Blindly slating incels will never achieve anything except embed their views and disdain for society and women. But I gaurantee that if exposed to empathy, non-judgemental support, a few things to give purpose in life and caring platonic relationships with both (or really I should say all) genders most incels would start to think very differently.

It's a bit like SS as a whole. No number of Tantracul videos or NYT hit pieces is ever going to change the views of most SS members on this forum and it's philosophy. But I reckon if we all had better experiences with life, people, society and mental health professionals then we probably would not feel the need for this site.

It's far from a perfect analogy - supporting this site is a far more legitimate viewpoint than inceldom. But I still think we should rethink the way we interact with incels.

 

[Roseate]

It's kinda sad that a forum like this has to be an all out war of competitive suffering when we have so much in common.

No one forms these views in a vacuum, most incels have probably had horrible upbringings and been mistreated much of their lives by people. And it's not rocket science that loneliness and lack of affection, friendship or intimacy are perfectly understandable reasons to be very unhappy.

Incels channel these difficulties in a particularly wrong and disturbing way but I think we should have a bit of empathy for people having a very hard time. Blindly slating incels will never achieve anything except embed their views and disdain for society and women. But I gaurantee that if exposed to empathy, non-judgemental support, a few things to give purpose in life and caring platonic relationships with both (or really I should say all) genders most incels would start to think very differently.

It's a bit like SS as a whole. No number of Tantracul videos or NYT hit pieces is ever going to change the views of most SS members on this forum and it's philosophy. But I reckon if we all had better experiences with life, people, society and mental health professionals then we probably would not feel the need for this site.

It's far from a perfect analogy - supporting this site is a far more legitimate viewpoint than inceldom. But I still think we should rethink the way we interact with incels.

Should we have empathy for murderers and serial killers and rapist too? There is right and then there is wrong. No amount of depression causes people to kill in cold blood. Yes, depression can cause anger. But whenever you people say things like this, it reenforces this negative idea of what depression or mental illness is and represents. And it affects us all negatively. It's already bad enough that mental health patients aren't getting the proper help they need. We should ignore them some more and treat them the way they treat others. We don't get a clap in the back for being sad and depressed so why should they for being angry and pathetic? Suicide ideation is far from being the same as incels. Incels cause harm to others, they even go as far as killing people or abusing people. And it's a good enough amount of them too. And they don't even take it out on other men. It's us women they take out on. As if we don't have enough obstacles in our way. We live in a world where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, especially if you're a women and don't even get me started on being a women of color. The truth is it's a bunch of entitled men who were probably spoiled as hell because guess what? If you had a hard life (and weren't spoiled), then you would understand that you don't DESERVE anything. And the thing with these incels is that they feel they deserve to have a girl or whatever, put zero efforts, whine and complain then throw fits and get angry. They need severe punishments to deal with them. That's the only source of action I agree with. We don't need to be cuddling them anymore than they've already been. No one deserves love. That's the thing. Nothing and I mean nothing is guaranteed or fair, if that were the case then we would all be happy and not on here depressed and suicidal.

 

[Holu]

This is not a funny thing to comment , and I'm fucked for laughing but did bro fr say "ctb cuz no pretty young woman"? Cuz that's lowkey hilarious in a very fucked way.

Either way, I'm not surprised with an incel population on this form. I actually commented yesterday on a girls post who was asking for friends, warning her of the dangers of idiots with dicks. It's unfortunately just something that exists with the internet. Depraved lonely men struggling with their hormones are prime real estate for incels. Couple that with fuckwads like Tate and Sneako and suddenly it seems like incels are mainstream at this point.

These peoples advances should be ignored. Some might genuinely be suffering, and we should offer support. But, obvious the internet etiquette of being wary of these people is necessary. Even more we must shut this behavior down when we see it. A whole lot of vulnerable people on this site and we al have a responsibility to make sure they aren't further hurt, especially by these freaks who can't think with their actual head.

 

[ManchildLoser]

This is not a funny thing to comment , and I'm fucked for laughing but did bro fr say "ctb cuz no pretty young woman"? Cuz that's lowkey hilarious in a very fucked way.

Either way, I'm not surprised with an incel population on this form. I actually commented yesterday on a girls post who was asking for friends, warning her of the dangers of idiots with dicks. It's unfortunately just something that exists with the internet. Depraved lonely men struggling with their hormones are prime real estate for incels. Couple that with fuckwads like Tate and Sneako and suddenly it seems like incels are mainstream at this point.

These peoples advances should be ignored. Some might genuinely be suffering, and we should offer support. But, obvious the internet etiquette of being wary of these people is necessary. Even more we must shut this behavior down when we see it. A whole lot of vulnerable people on this site and we al have a responsibility to make sure they aren't further hurt, especially by these freaks who can't think with their actual head.

It seems you and Roseate are very confused by a lot of concepts here. You tend to generalize a LOT and i detect a lot of anger and lack of empathy.
I think you both have no idea what 99% of incels are. Yes a very small minority of incels will commit mass shooting and hate crimes against women, but most of them wouldnt hurt anyone.
Most incels are suicidal, why do you think theyre on this forum lol?
Its like you're saying " my reasons for wanting to die are better than you, shut the fuck up, you're just a sad lonely man that nobody wants" you wish people have empathy for you but you dont for others. That is just hypocrite.
Also, stop acting like its always women that are the victims, because its fuking wrong and there is a huge double standard against men. Its like : " oh you are a lonely sad man who never had any affection or intimacy from a woman? Go die. You pervert" WTF??? Its like men are not allowed to feel desire or love, but its in our biology, some needs have to be met or otherwise we become depressed. (And no im not talking about just sex, im talking about having a connection and intimacy, its totally different)
Anyway, nothing disgusts me more than people that invalidate what others are feeling, just because they are men. Its fucked up, but because you are a woman, you are entitled to always be the "victim" and men are always the bad guys. Grow up.

 

[ManchildLoser]

By the way, comparing incels to murderers and rapists? Wow lol. Just wow. Your mind is clearly beyond repair. I guess that's why you're on this forum huh?

 

[Holu]

@ManchildLoser
Big dawg u gud? Cuz it sounds like u fightin a whole lotta invisible comments.

Its like you're saying " my reasons for wanting to die are better than you, shut the fuck up, you're just a sad lonely man that nobody wants" you wish people have empathy for you but you dont for others. That is just hypocrite..

First and foremost, I would like to apologize for any discomfort or harm I may have caused by trauma comparing. By no means was it my intent. I personally see no value in comparing trauma regardless of the intent, as it only further detaches the suffering individual, and demeans and degrades their pain. My message was not intending to convey this, and whilst I personally do not see how it did, I understand we all perceive everything different, so I want to give my upmost apology. I'm really sorry.

However, I feel it is necessary for me to discuss several of the points you brought up in an attempt to promptly clarify any misconceptions you and like minded individuals might have with my post.

Firstly, it's necessary that I give my definition of an incel. Incel, meaning "involuntary celibate" is a derogatory slang used against individuals who posses negative views and a general animosity towards women due to an inability to form a relationship with women. Whilst everyone's definition is different, this is my personal one, and I will be operating from this standpoint. I again, would like to apologize for any harm you suffered as a result of my failure to make this clear. Additionally, I do not personally see all virgin males who fail to "get bitches" as incels. I am simply referring more or less to those who actively harass women, be it for sex, or out of a distaste of the "modern women".

I think you both have no idea what 99% of incels are. Yes a very small minority of incels will commit mass shooting and hate crimes against women, but most of them wouldnt hurt anyone.

Perhaps I'm missing the picture, but can you please show me WHERE in my post I made or alluded that I believe that a sizable amount or even majority of incels are committing mass shooting and hate crimes against women? I'm genuinely unsure where you pulled that from the post. If I had to guess it would be this statement...

especially by these freaks who can't think with their actual head.

I am not going to apologize if you interpreted this statement as me believing incels are committing mass shooting and hate crimes. The intended(And obvious) conclusion was incels harassing women on the internet, be it creepy approaches despite the women saying no, body shaming, or insults to a women's character.

You tend to generalize a LOT

Again, please demonstrate in my post where I generalize, because I'm not personally seeing it. Again, if I had to take a guess it's this statement...

Depraved lonely men struggling with their hormones are prime real estate for incels.

...Which honestly doesn't seem like a generalization as much as it's something I personally believe a majority of people would agree with.

Also, stop acting like its always women that are the victims, because its fuking wrong and there is a huge double standard against men. Its like : " oh you are a lonely sad man who never had any affection or intimacy from a woman? Go die. You pervert" WTF??? Its like men are not allowed to feel desire or love, but its in our biology, some needs have to be met or otherwise we become depressed. (And no im not talking about just sex, im talking about having a connection and intimacy, its totally different)

In a surprising turn of hypocrisy it is actually YOU who are generalizing my statements. When did I say all incels should die? When did I say men aren't allowed to feel "desire or love". In fact, in my statement here...

Some might genuinely be suffering, and we should offer support.

... I am actually saying that we should "offer support" to these "lonely sad men who never had any affection or intimacy from a woman". Which in my books, demonstrates how well you understood my post when you made the statement...

i detect a lot of anger and lack of empathy.

...Stating I have a lack of empathy. I actually acknowledge this in my post, and follow this by simply stating...

. But, obvious the internet etiquette of being wary of these people is necessary. Even more we must shut this behavior down when we see it. A whole lot of vulnerable people on this site and we al have a responsibility to make sure they aren't further hurt

This statement is in DEFENSE of women from this toxic behavior, which is only unproductive, and serves to further degrade and outright bully a vulnerable individual into a worse mental state. I am EMPATHIZING with a women, despite being a MALE, for the emotional distress harassment and objectification can cause. Furthermore, remember how you said...

Its like you're saying " my reasons for wanting to die are better than you, shut the fuck up, you're just a sad lonely man that nobody wants" you wish people have empathy for you but you dont for others. That is just hypocrite.

... because in this you are actually CLAIMING that women should not compare their suffering with harassment to your suffering. YOU ARE COMPARING TRAUMA. YOU ARE THE HYPOCRITE HERE. You know what, you are doing this...

Anyway, nothing disgusts me more than people that invalidate what others are feeling

Seriously, thank you for actually going out of your way to invalidate the experience of @Roseate. How very empathetic of you!

Its fucked up, but because you are a woman, you are entitled to always be the "victim" and men are always the bad guys. Grow up.

I find it absolutely hilarious that you referred to me as a woman because my opinions differ from you. As if you felt that a MALE couldn't actually empathize with a woman. Let me say I am a male, a born male, and a cis male.

Overall, the intention of my post was not to insult or blame men for being the "bad guys". I am simply trying to make the statement that harassing ANYONE is wrong. Regardless of whether or not an incel has had poor experiences with woman and as a result its understandable why they would lash out that does not making lashing out right. Hypothetically speaking, lets say I went around commenting rude insults on a bunch of trans peoples pages because I have had a bad experience with trans people. Just because I have a reason, and just because it may be understandable does not mean I am not the "bad guy". I will stand by my statements. Anyone, woman, man, non-binary, etc. who goes out of their way to harass another human being is in the wrong, regardless of their rationale. That does not mean we need to go out of our way to retaliate and harass these individuals, however we have a duty as humans to stomp out such behavior.

Look, I get your upset with a modern society, but for the love of god can you at least take the time to read my post before responding, because you are literally fighting ghosts my boy. Ultimately, you said it best...

Grow up.

 

[ManchildLoser]

Well we dont have the same definition of incel then, because incel doesnt necessarely means harrassing women...most lonely men are not doing that. They are just venting their frustration online, mostly.
And I was replying more to Roseate than to you, just to be clear. My critiscism is toward her views which are toxic. Sorry about the confusion.

Harassing anyone is wrong of course, but she generalized that all men are violent and unpredictable, just because she had some bad experiences. She demonized a group of people that are struggling and need help, but according to her comment she thinks all men are horrible people. Some are, but not all.

i never said i invalidated Roseate's feeling, but SHE actually invalidated a whole group of people lol. But how can i feel empathy for someone who has such a toxic view of men? Im sorry but if she openly admits all men are trash, why would i feel sorry for her.

Anyway, i apologize for the confusion, i think you have made fair points on this topic, and I can see you are a logical, down to earth type of guy, i respect that.

 

[endless_worry]

sex is more important as a desire to men than women due to higher levels of testosterone

lol….


——-
This post (the whole thing, not just the quoted) is kinda… ugh

I agree with the poster that said a lot seem to think that their reason for ctb is better or more empathic than some others. I will agree that maybe someone saying that they have some sort of 'right' or should have a 'privilege' to have a woman talk or be with them would be inappropriate, but I didn't see the reference post or know the person's personal story.

As for me personally, I am 40/f. I have conditions that don't allow me to leave the house very often therefore I can not date. I am lonely. This does not lead directly to my plans to ctb, but it does contribute to my depression symptoms. Sex is more of a desire than actually dating or having someone to be with. But I'm just not the type of person that would go out and have a one nighter, even though I know it would be easier for a woman than a man. And not because I disagree with the concept either. But because I know it would put me in the position to have to actually talk to someone, and avoiding that is more important to me than the sex.