Discussion Why do you continue your habits, routine, when you already have a set CTB date?

[Kalista]

Why do you continue to care about certain things that won't matter soon? For appearances sake? Financial security until you get the materials?

If not anything that might affect your CTB plans, then why? You can't help but stick with the routine until the exit date?


I'm not immune to this. I still tried to deal with my disability claim which was unnecessarily made difficult by the State/government. I guess it was a back-up in case I do decide to continue living because I'm broke right now and I haven't gone back to work since getting out of the hospital.
I'm a very clean and neat person. I still keep up with cleaning myself but the rest I just don't care for anymore. Haven't cleaned my apartment at all which I used to do every week.
I also eat like absolute shit now, but maybe I'll get a nice meal before exiting. So some things are still difficult to break out of.

 

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

Why do you continue to care about certain things that won't matter soon? For appearances sake? Financial security until you get the materials?

If not anything that might affect your CTB plans, then why? You can't help but stick with the routine until the exit date?


I'm not immune to this. I still tried to deal with my disability claim which was unnecessarily made difficult by the State/government. I guess it was a back-up in case I do decide to continue living because I'm broke right now and I haven't gone back to work since getting out of the hospital.
I'm a very clean and neat person. I still keep up with cleaning myself but the rest I just don't care for anymore. Haven't cleaned my apartment at all which I used to do every week.
I also eat like absolute shit now, but maybe I'll get a nice meal before exiting. So some things are still difficult to break out of.

I'm not sure and ask myself that often. I want my place to be clean when I'm found. But as far as bills and things like that I'm picking and choosing which get paid.
But I'm not really sure

 

[casual_existence]

Keeping up appearances mostly.

 

[offtoseethewizard]

Just in case I guess. But fuck it's hard to keep being cheery with work people who don't suffer in the same way

 

[Centraloze]

There isn't much else for me to do when I'm tired of just waiting than to stay busy. Just the essentials right now of staying alive and not appearing to be out of routine. Soon.

 

[AInilam]

I guess just to gain some comfort in the normalcy, pretending it's just another day. I guess if you pretend long enough that it isn't a big deal your brain starts to believe it. Although the week leading up to it, I plan on treating it like a going-away or home-coming party.

 

[PrettyPotato]

For me short term access to finances is the only factor that I'm keeping an eye on really - I simply don't want to run out of funds before I can carry out my plan. I have no daily 'routine' I'm sticking to other than getting up and keeping fed though.

I stopped paying most ongoing bills a month ago - only paying ones now that would impact my ability to ctb, or that might attract undue attention - so I'm paying credit card min payment, music and movies subs (might sound trivial, but I can't ctb for a month so need to do something with my time or I'll go loopy!). Electricity and gas, broadband, and so on though, not bothering with any longer as I'm abroad anyway until ctb day.

What I found interesting about routine however was that once I'd decided to end things, any materialistic instincts just stopped, immediately. ... and this is from someone that *loved* buying random crap - the house is packed full of collectibles, gadgets, etc.

Now though, it's like a switch has been flipped. No desire to buy anything, even though I'm currently in what would comfortably be classed as one of the largest shopping meccas on earth. Only thing I've been doing for last few weeks really is eating at excellent restaurants! Everything else - clothes, gadgets, whatever, feels completely unnecessary now.

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

To make the wait comfortable, I wouldn't want to ditch work just to go homeless...

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Why do you continue to care about certain things that won't matter soon? For appearances sake? Financial security until you get the materials?

If not anything that might affect your CTB plans, then why? You can't help but stick with the routine until the exit date?


I'm not immune to this. I still tried to deal with my disability claim which was unnecessarily made difficult by the State/government. I guess it was a back-up in case I do decide to continue living because I'm broke right now and I haven't gone back to work since getting out of the hospital.
I'm a very clean and neat person. I still keep up with cleaning myself but the rest I just don't care for anymore. Haven't cleaned my apartment at all which I used to do every week.
I also eat like absolute shit now, but maybe I'll get a nice meal before exiting. So some things are still difficult to break out of.

Just my opinion. It might be SI's sneaky way of letting you know you're not quite ready or you really wouldn't care. I like to act like I'm completely at peace with it , but in reality I am looking for hope. I still believe I'll be able to accomplish it but you can't be sure until the moment it has to happen. It comes and goes in waves. Like a surfer you just have to be ready when the right wave comes. Until then we just sit (daily routine) and wait.

 

[BarnabasCollins]

To keep up appearances and not give anyone a reason to suspect. That way, no one attempts to stop and ruin my plan. Being found and having my attempt stopped, and the weeks in a psych ward after, is my fear. So I keep up appearances.

 

[heavyeyes]

To appear normal. I don't want any suspicion