why do some people find it so much easier to be happy?

[wildflowers1996]

I just feel I am wired wrong?
I remember when I was about 10/11 I think the depression really starting and just crying every night and not knowing what was causing it
There was no traumatic event which caused it, I just remember saying "I miss my childhood" over and over, I hated that it was gone forever, I didn't want to grow up
Is there such thing as being naturally inclined to depression?

 

[sserafim]

I think it's because their minds are wired like that. Most people focus on the positives instead of the negatives; it helps them get through the suffering that is life. I think it's an instinctual thing. People like to be around positive and happy people, not negative and sad people. I heard that there was a genetic component to depression, some people are predisposed to it

 

[amra81nz]

some people just get what they want and dont care if they hurt others to get it.
I accepted your discord friend invite wildflowers

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Too relateable. I think you´re right, I was happy and excited for the future untill I turned 14 then I started feeling suicidal which also just seems like I was wired wrong before that at least in my childhood it felt like I was the happiest child ever but suddenly it stopped and I went from heaven to hell why I don´t know exactly. It feels like it all boils down to chemical balance in the brain and there is nothing you can do about it, I actually don´t know anyone personally who went from being suicidal in their teens to happy out of nowhere so it feels almost like it´s destiny, like if life was a video game and we were programmed to feel this way.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I think that it may just be due to their brain neurotype

 

[divinemistress36]

Faulty wiring in our brains

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

some people just get what they want and dont care if they hurt others to get it.

I couldn't agree more. IMO, this is likely the one trait that is most responsible for setting happy people apart from the rest. And it's not necessarily a bad thing either. Worthy of envy even. Us unselfish people live in torment as martyrs.

If you think about it, most of us were happiest as children. Why? Because all our young brains knew was how to be selfish and instinctually get what we want at whatever cost.

 

[UKscotty]

Depression makes us see only negative and we don't see the miracle of life.

The worst part is I'm not sure our faulty brains can be fixed.

 

[Kit1]

I know a lady in her mid 90s - I have known for over 30 years. She is the happiest person I have met and probably one of the kindest as well. Even when she lost her husband and her daughter years ago, she said to me - " they lived happy lives and died without pain". She brought up the grandchildren (the children of the daughter who died as both parents died in an accident at the same time) and I am friends with her grandchildren - they both are so well adjusted and have always talked about how this lady's attitude towards life enabled them to live happily. I think genetics has something to do with it - all her children and grandchildren are so easy going, positive and happy.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's a puzzle. I think there are definitely natural optimists out there and maybe people more genetically inclined towards pessimism. I think it's also upbringing. Are parents positive around their children? Do they give them praise and a can-do attitude? Or, do they see them complain about how unfair things are? I think we learn a lot from our caregivers.

But I imagine someone looking out for negativity and injustice will find plenty of examples throughout life, which just reinforces their idea that they are cursed or unlucky. Someone who has maybe accepted that bad stuff happens, challenges are a learning experience- all that. Maybe they don't catastrophize so much.

I think severe trauma can mess anyone up though. I expect a lot of people here have gone through some pretty nasty stuff. It's difficult for even the most optimistic person to come out of something really life changing unscathed.

 

[damyon]

I think genetics has something to do with it

I agree with the point, but I also want to add that upbringing and environment are significant too.

Children who grow up in supportive environments where they receive positive reinforcement tend to be more optimistic about life.
But constant abuse or negative reinforcement will internalize negative beliefs about life. For instance, constant criticism can lead to a need for external validation.
And If a child is neglected, the parents are playing a lottery—if the kid gets lucky enough to receive support elsewhere, he is more likely to be happy.

 

[JustGiveNovacaine]

I don't remember the day when I didn't felt suicidal, but I don't remember anything from my infant years either. Maybe it's trauma. Maybe I'm just wired that way. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. We done our time. Most people can't see that our time it's over, and we're alive just for the sake of them. But it's painful. And peace will come.

 

[davidtorez]

I think it's because their minds are wired like that. Most people focus on the positives instead of the negatives; it helps them get through the suffering that is life. I think it's an instinctual thing. People like to be around positive and happy people, not negative and sad people. I heard that there was a genetic component to depression, some people are predisposed to it

Look up optimism bias and the polly anna effect in psychology. This is how most normal people's brains are wired . Even in dire circumstances they believe their lives are worthwhile and worth living. It's the " it could be worse " mentality . In some ways I believe depressed people have a more realistic view of life than the "normal " person .

 

[lita-lassi]

nature and nurture both

 

[rotciv]

many factors, childhood, no major traumas and/or health problems, good economic conditions, all of this helps to be more positive